A Madea Christmas Page #4

All I'm saying is this...

- What's your name, boy? Olive Oil?

- Oliver.

All I'm saying is this.

If she wanted to talk to you,

she would have called you all the time.

Don't get your hopes

up listening to Eileen.

Don't listen to her. You two

are gonna be together again.

You'd like that, wouldn't you?

I see it on your face.

I see it on your face. Yeah!

I would like to see us

have another chance.

Y'all was in high school back then.

I got to pee, son.

You been driving around

in circles for way too long.

Go on over there. Pull over there,

ask these people directions.

I'm gonna go in here

and use the bathroom.

No, Madea.

This place don't look right.

Eileen, here. This a...

Child, please.

I grew up in the country.

Ain't nobody in here.

He what sittin'

there willy-whilin'. Ask him.

Lord, this thing is high.

You gotta get me a step.

'Scuse me, sir.

You look like a nice man.

How you doin'? We are lost.

He trying to find direction.

I need a bathroom. Is there

a bathroom here somewhere?

Yes, ma'am. Right over yonder.

Get the directions here.

I got me to pee.

Got to pee. Hell...

What the...

Go! Drive! Drive, Olive Oil, drive!

Put the pedal to the metal.

Get the hell outta here!

- They're tryin' to get me!

- What did you do?

Drive! Hell, they're KKK!

- This ain't the right address, is it?

- That's what she said.

This can't be the right address.

These people might not be friendly.

Look, this is 2013,

and it's almost Christmas.

Sure it'll be fine.

Boy, did you see what I

just went through in town?

True.

This just don't feel right.

Up here in these woods,

ain't nobody around but us and trees.

I don't like this.

Go knock on the door.

- Thanks a lot.

- What you worried about, son?

Somebody got to

live to tell the story.

Tell 'em what happened to you.

Somebody got be an activist.

Somebody got to call Sharpton.

Never mind.

Conner, where are you going?

- Hey, what's going on?

- I mentioned Tanner and he lost it.

- Conner!

- I've been waiting to see this.

- I'm goin' with you, boy.

- Conner!

Conner!

- Uh-oh. Who is that?

- I told you this was the wrong address.

We gotta go. Back up.

There she is! Pull up.

We're at the right place.

- Come on. Hurry up.

- There she is.

- Lacey!

- Look at you.

Oh, my word. What are you doing here?

I hitched a ride

with Oliver. Surprise!

Surprise!

- We came.

- Surprise.

Who are you?

I'm Conner.

Girl, what the coroner doing here?

Who done died?

You are the farmhand that

she hired. Yes, yes, yes, yes.

I am Eileen, her mother.

And this is Madea,

her great-aunt on my daddy's side.

She sure don't look happy to see us.

You better bite your tongue.

She is happy to see

me anytime. Tell her.

That don't look like happiness, honey.

That look like puredee constipation.

Hi, Conner.

How are ya? How ya doing?

This handsome thing...

this is Oliver, her boyfriend.

Her boyfriend?

Ex-boyfriend.

It was nice of you to call him.

That was a nice ruse to

get to see him. Fund-raiser.

No, it wasn't a ruse.

You know you miss him.

Anyway, could you get my bags,

farmhand, please?

- Yeah.

- I'll help.

Lacey, come show us this farm.

A little dusty, dusty.

Come, my dear. I knew that.

Baby, you know you got asthma.

Mama, I don't have asthma anymore.

Yeah, but you still

gotta be careful...

because that could lead to cancer.

Everything don't lead to cancer,

Eileen. Lord, help her.

I'm gonna open the door.

Y'all need fresh air up in here.

Got all these animals. This is

a nice room. I'll stay in here.

- Good, good, good.

- Sure.

Lacey, you do not

have a Christmas tree?

- No, I don't.

- Oh, my God.

- That's why you wanted me to come here.

- Yeah, that's exactly why.

- I'm gonna take this room.

- Okay.

- Okay?

- That's nice too.

- That's a nice room.

- Thank you.

- Is this one yours, Madea?

- Yeah, put it in the room on the end.

- I'm staying down there.

- All right.

- All right.

- Is this your room here?

- It's my room.

- It's lovely.

Thank you. It's not clean.

- Okay, now where's the kitchen?

- Let's go that way.

- It's in there. Go ahead.

- I'm comin'.

Don't be pushing on me.

We saw this. This is the

dining room. It's yellow.

It's yellow. It's bright yellow!

It's nice, Mama, huh?

Yeah, it's not my cup

of tea, but you know.

- Back porch and everything.

- Aunt Madea, you like it?

- Yeah, look at all the animals.

- It's very nice. Yes.

Ask the man to bring

the groceries in.

- They're in the trunk of the car.

- His name is Conner.

I don't like you being up

here with him by yourself.

What is Oliver supposed to think,

you living with a man?

Why should I care what Oliver thinks?

- You should. He still wants you.

- Mama, please.

No, and you still want him.

I know it. I got that feeling.

I want some grandbabies.

What you waiting on?

Eileen, stop meddling with that girl.

Okay? You is in everybody's business.

Just leave this child alone.

You have been talking

since we got in the car.

You talk too much, Eileen. Please,

just shut up for a little while here.

Leave this child alone.

She living her life.

She happy out here in the

farm playing Old MacDonald.

- Any more?

- Just the groceries.

All right.

- Hi.

- Wow.

- It's great to see you, Lacey.

- Yeah, you too.

Let me put these down,

and I'll be ready to go to school.

- Yeah.

- All right?

So, you didn't tell me

your boyfriend was coming.

High school. Non-factor, trust me.

My mother... I can't believe

she just showed up.

And your parents are on their way.

Yep. Gonna be here right after

you get back from school.

I know. What are we gonna do?

You better think of something.

- Baby...

- Boyfriend.

- Are you ready to go?

- Yes, sure.

Hold on. Hold on. I heard

somebody say, "Go." Oh, Lord.

Take me anywhere. I got to

get away from your mama.

I'll go to hell and back

to get away from her.

She talk too damn much.

Can I go with y'all?

Okay. Maybe you can keep an eye on

my class while I go into the meeting.

I'm sorry. Watch your class?

She wants me to watch

her class. Children?

Child, me and children

don't get along.

Now, let me see.

Ankle-biting...

disease-carrying...

little children of God,

or your mama...

satanic, loud-mouthed,

diarrhea woman from hell.

I think I'll go with the children.

Praise God.

- All right.

- I'll drop you back off on my way home.

Okay, close your trunk, son.

Close your trunk.

I'm gonna ride with him.

No offense to y'all car,

'cause this a nice car.

But this bring back memories, child.

I got pregnant. Meat Loaf was

playing "Dashboard Light."

I was sitting up there, and I kept

hitting my head on that steering wheel.

It was just awful.

It was an awful time.

Look. The door even sound the same.

Child, this is just what it's...

Yep, that bring back memories.

Watch this.

That's what I used to do. Drop it.

That car built for comfort and

built for speed, just like me.

This a nice truck, but how

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