A Madea Christmas Page #5

Synopsis: Madea gets coaxed into helping a friend pay her daughter a surprise visit in the country for Christmas, but the biggest surprise is what they'll find when they arrive. As the small, rural town prepares for its annual Christmas Carnival, new secrets are revealed and old relationships are tested while Madea dishes her own brand of Christmas Spirit to all.
Genre: Comedy, Drama
Director(s): Tyler Perry
Production: Lionsgate
  1 win & 6 nominations.
 
IMDB:
4.9
Metacritic:
28
Rotten Tomatoes:
20%
PG-13
Year:
2013
100 min
$52,528,330
Website
2,965 Views


I'm s'posed to get in here?

- Pull the seat back.

- I'll sit in the back. Hold on.

No, you don't have to...

Yeah, just pull that back.

You got to get some of them

things to help me get in here.

Is there something to...

Hold on. I got it.

Yeah, that's it. Come on in.

Boy, you got to get a low car here.

- You 'bout to make me mad.

- Give me your hand.

- Now, hold on.

- All right, I got you.

- Good morning, class.

- Good morning.

This is my Aunt Mabel.

But everybody calls her Madea.

I have to go to a meeting down

the hall with Ms. Porter...

and I asked Miss Madea

to keep an eye on you.

Now, you know what to do and

you know how to behave, right?

Yes, ma'am.

- I'll be right back. Thanks, Madea.

- Yeah, I love it.

I love well-behaved children.

That's wonderful.

Y'all look so nice.

Hello. Hello. Now, y'all got to

go back to the Stepford children.

Don't act like you... Don't act

like this. Now, calm the hell down.

I'm in here. Do yourself a favor.

Do the right thing.

- You belong in this class?

- Yes, ma'am.

- Okay. What's your name?

- Bailey.

Bailey? Okay. Well, go on.

Your teacher went down the hall,

and I'm sitting in for her. Have a seat.

You better hope she comes back.

She's the only teacher

that likes you here.

Don't sit by me. You are so dirty.

Leave that boy alone. Where else

he gonna sit? Sit down, son.

Sit down. Don't worry about her.

Don't you ever pick on somebody just

'cause you can. Do you understand?

They used to do that to me

when I was in kindergarten.

'Cause I was six feet tall,

they all want to talk about me.

I had a full figure and

curves and all that stuff.

They wanted to make fun of me.

But I wasn't having it.

You understand? I fought back.

That's why I got tough-skinned.

You may have to fight back sometimes.

Do you understand?

Don't worry about these people in

here trying to make you feel bad.

You got to be nice to people.

Pass it on, niceness.

- Do you understand?

- Yes, ma'am.

All right, I'm going to write

my name on the board...

so you all will know what my name is.

Ain't no chalk.

Y'all ain't got no chalk?

Ain't got no eraser either.

"No cause..."

Okay. I don't know

what all that mean.

All right. Well,

what we gonna do is...

I'm gonna tell y'all a story.

This is the story of Christmas.

Christmas.

This is what I learned when I

went to school... Sunday school.

This is the story of the nativities.

Little baby Jesus was born.

He was born to the Virgin Mary...

J. Blige, and as Mary was on tour...

she met this man named Joe...

Manganiello, who played a werewolf.

And he was in love with her.

She said, "Joe.

I am thou-ist with the child-ist.

And the holiness is come upon me...

and I'm going to have a baby-ist."

And Joe said, "Really?"

They ain't know what to do.

So he went on and stayed with her...

and they went on 'cause they

was expecting the holy child.

That's right.

And the Bible say in

second "Deuteronomo"...

that when he came to the earth...

he came through the Virgin...

pia colada.

And as she was there...

they were trying to find

somewhere to have the baby...

but they kept going to all these hotels,

and wouldn't none of 'em let them in.

Marriott. Shut the door.

Hilton. Shut the door.

Tried to get to the Ritz-Carlton,

they said, "You don't belong here."

Everybody just got put out.

They went to the Motel 6.

They didn't even leave the light

on for her. She was in the dark.

Anyway, there was Mary...

'bout to have that baby,

so she sat down at a bus stop.

MARTA bus passed by,

wouldn't even pick her up...

to take her to the holy

city of Birmingham.

And as she sat there,

she went into laborer.

And as she started laboring...

a mangy dog walked up beside her.

See, God will send you a dog when

you need it, even if you don't.

And that dog said,

"What's wrong with you?"

And as she sat there,

she had that baby...

and that baby came

next to that mangy dog.

That's why they say he

was born in a mangy.

Hallelujah. Let the Lord use ya.

Okay, that's the story of the baby Jesus.

That's the hip-hop version.

I'm glad I went to church

and to Sunday school. Okay.

Where my purse?

Where my purse?

Y'all ain't seen what

happened to my purse?

I'm gonna tell y'all another story.

This is the story of Easter Sunday.

Jesus was hanging

between two thieves.

One was Baranibus and the

other was the Dinosaurus.

Somebody better find

my purse right now.

- All we have to do is sign that thing?

- Yes.

Lacey told me you needed

the money right away.

So I spoke with my boss and

got the money in advance.

We're both very sure we'll

get the sponsorship.

What's in it for you?

Well, my company gets paid a

10% commission by the company.

You get the entire 100 grand.

It will help us with the shortfall.

- Is everything okay, Wilbur?

- Yes, Your Honor.

It's good. It is good.

All right then. Let's do this.

Wonderful. Here you go.

Now, we'll bring the sponsors down

to the Jubilee for a photo op.

- That's all we ask.

- Of course.

- Thank you, son.

- You got it.

Thank you so much.

You have no idea how

much we needed this.

- It's my pleasure.

- Lacey.

- Thank you.

- This is my town too.

Glad I can help.

- Thank you.

- Thank you.

After you.

There you go.

You have no clue how much

you've just helped us. I mean...

It was my pleasure.

I'm glad I could help.

- Thank you again.

- You got it.

- Here.

- What's this?

- It's your Christmas present.

- No. I can't take that.

- Sure you can.

- I really can't.

You've already done

enough for us. Thank you.

What are you doing?

Your mother told me she

thought you missed me.

Look, I know we were children,

but I think about you still.

Listen, Oliver,

that was a long time ago...

- and I actually have to tell you...

- Lacey!

- Get in here. Quick!

- Excuse me.

Hurry!

There's a weird woman in here.

What they did back in the day...

Lacey, who is this?

- My aunt Madea.

- Hi.

What are you doing?

I was just teaching these

children a lesson on Jesus...

from the time he was born

until the time he died on Earth.

She tried to steal my purse, but I

taught her a lesson. Here you go.

Now you have been crowned

the Christmas... Praise. Hallelujah.

- I got her, didn't I? I got her, Bailey.

- Yes, ma'am.

'Scuse me. Oliver, take me to the house.

I'm getting the hell outta here.

We'll talk when I get

back for the Jubilee.

Lucy. How do you even...

How did she...

That's a nice-lookin' tree.

- Hey, baby.

- Hey.

- Are they here yet?

- Nope.

I rushed home. How's my mother?

I don't know. She only

said two words to me.

You think of how you're

gonna handle this yet?

No. Were you able to

talk to your parents?

Nope, no cell phone.

Guess I'll have to talk to

'em now 'cause they're here.

- Hey, hey!

- Hi, y'all!

Hey, hey! Look at you!

Don't you go nowhere.

I'm gonna get your mama.

- I look all right?

- Yeah, you look great.

- Son! Son!

Rate this script:3.5 / 10 votes

Tyler Perry

Tyler Perry (born Emmitt Perry Jr.; September 13, 1969) is an American actor, playwright, and filmmaker. In 2011, Forbes listed him as the highest paid man in entertainment, earning $130 million USD between May 2010 and 2011.Perry created and performs the Madea character, a tough elderly black woman. Perry's films vary in style from orthodox filmmaking techniques to filmed productions of live stage plays. Perry is estimated to have earned around US$75 million by 2008. Many of Perry's stage-play films have been subsequently adapted as films. Perry wrote and produced many stage plays during the 1990s and early 2000s. Perry has developed several television series, most notably Tyler Perry's House of Payne, which ran for eight seasons on TBS from June 21, 2006, to August 10, 2012. On October 2, 2012, Perry struck an exclusive multi-year partnership with Oprah Winfrey and her Oprah Winfrey Network. The partnership was largely for the sake of bringing scripted television to the OWN, based on Perry's previous success in this area. Perry has created multiple scripted series for the network, The Haves and the Have Nots being its most successful. The Haves and the Have Nots has given OWN its highest ratings to date as of 2014, with the series also referred to as "one of OWN's biggest success stories with its weekly dose of soapy fun, filled with the typical betrayals, affairs, and manipulations." more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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    "A Madea Christmas" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2025. Web. 19 Jan. 2025. <https://www.scripts.com/script/a_madea_christmas_1960>.

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