A Madea Christmas Page #6

Synopsis: Madea gets coaxed into helping a friend pay her daughter a surprise visit in the country for Christmas, but the biggest surprise is what they'll find when they arrive. As the small, rural town prepares for its annual Christmas Carnival, new secrets are revealed and old relationships are tested while Madea dishes her own brand of Christmas Spirit to all.
Genre: Comedy, Drama
Director(s): Tyler Perry
Production: Lionsgate
  1 win & 6 nominations.
 
IMDB:
4.9
Metacritic:
28
Rotten Tomatoes:
20%
PG-13
Year:
2013
100 min
$52,528,330
Website
2,965 Views


- Mama! Daddy!

Look at you!

Daddy, not the bear hug!

Your old man still got it, don't he?

Look at my Grizzly Adams.

Look at you. You look

like a mountain man.

Hey, Son, see this? This ain't fat.

This is all foreskin.

Buddy, stop. Don't start so early.

- You must be Lacey.

- Yes.

Look at you!

- Oh, my!

- You put her down.

You don't gotta break

her and snap her neck.

Just give him a little nudge

to the flapjacks there.

He'll put you down.

Where are my manners?

I am Conner's mama.

Please call me Mrs. Williams.

- Hi.

- I kiddin'! You...

Call me Kim or Mama.

Just don't call me late for dinner.

I'm joshing you.

- Look how pretty. She's very pretty.

- Thank you.

She is even more beautiful than

I ever could have imagined.

Thank you.

So nice to finally meet you.

You too.

Look at this place.

It is beautiful.

This place is stupendous.

My mama and daddy...

Sorry. I'm sorry.

They just would've been

so proud. Thank you.

- Thank you.

- Thank you, Mama.

I was so upset when I

heard you two eloped.

I thought maybe you'd

come down to Louisiana...

and went up the bayou for the

Swamp Manor to get hitched.

We would have thrown you

such a shindig. You know that.

Hey, I'm glad y'all did elope.

You done saved me

an assload of money.

So I appreciate it.

Well, you've spent enough

money on me already, Daddy.

- I'm glad you recognize that.

- Honey, we love you.

Anything you want, my son. Anything.

Well...

Have you two eaten?

No, but...

Good, 'cause I caught

Christmas dinner.

Caught?

We are gonna have hot possum potpie.

I'm gonna make it.

It's good. Nice flaky crust.

Gonna have possum stew...

and your uncle DeWayne done

got me some white lightning.

Here, let me take this, Daddy.

Actually, Lacey's a vegetarian.

She's a vegetarianist? On a farm.

- Honey, that must be hard.

- That don't mean nothing.

We's Baptist, and we still like a

nice possum stew every now and then.

No, Buddy. It means

she doesn't eat meat.

- She doesn't eat meat.

- Oh, you're a tofu farter.

- Daddy.

- Ain't nothing wrong with that.

I like tofu farters. God bless you.

All I'm saying, Son,

if she don't eat meat...

that might be a bad thing when it

comes to certain parts of the anatomy.

Mama, can you please... I'm sorry.

We just met her. Now, stop.

- Start slow, all right?

- I was just kidding.

I'm sorry. He's crazy.

What are we doing standing

out here getting all dusty?

Let's go inside and get

our meal on. I'm starvin'.

I brought you some spices

from your Aunt Tutu's garden.

- Okay. Mama...

- You're gonna love 'em.

- Let me go get that.

- Hang on, y'all.

Lacey's mama is cookin'.

Lacey's ma... She's here?

- Your mama's here now?

- Yes.

- Her mama is here, Buddy.

- Hey, hey! All right.

Looks like we get

to meet the in-laws.

Actually, we kind of have a problem.

What's the problem?

Lacey hadn't told her

mama that we're married.

- What?

- Why ain't you told her?

Well...

my mother had dreams

for my entire life...

and Conner was not in that dream.

I'm sorry. I do...

- I don't understand.

- I think I do. Let me ask you something.

When she had them dreams,

was they in color or black-and-white?

She doesn't want you

with a white man.

I'm sorry. That's awful.

Honey, we taught

all of our children...

"Never see color. Only see heart."

- Isn't that right, Conner?

- That's right.

It's such a shame she does not

know what kind of person you are.

I'll tell you who he is.

Always taught him to

look at a woman's heart.

'Cause that's where their rack hangs.

Daddy.

I'm just kiddin'.

She got a nice rack.

Your mama used to have a nice rack.

Now she bends over, just looks

like she's got a 7-10 split.

- What the hell does that mean?

- It's a bowling term.

- I don't like that, Daddy.

- I don't either.

I'm just kiddin'. I still like to go to

the bowling alley every now and then.

- You're sexy to me.

- Will you hush?

I'm gonna start talking about

all your wrinkly, saggy parts.

- It's like a turkey giblet in there.

- That was over the line.

Well, honey, Conner,

who does she think you are?

She thinks I'm the farm help.

- Well, there's a switcheroo.

- The farm help.

Do you think we should leave?

I think we should maybe leave.

I ain't goin' nowhere.

Hell, I just drove up here.

- I am tired. I want a beer.

- I don't want you guys to leave.

Well, what should we do?

Can you give me

some time to tell her?

I mean, I have to break it to

her gently. She's been very sick.

- Oh, no.

- I'm so sorry.

- What's wrong?

- She has a weak heart.

Then by all means, you just...

take your time and tell

her when you're ready.

- Thank you.

- Okay.

We don't want her ticker

to tock out on you here.

- We'll behave ourselves.

- Yeah.

- You know what we'll be?

- What?

- Parents of the help.

- That's right. Parents of the help.

- "Can I get you something?"

- Let's head in.

- Come on.

- Daddy, behave.

I'll behave. Like a bull in a rodeo.

- Did you paint this? This is fabulous.

- I started.

- Still needs some work.

- Where you at?

I bet this house run them

in the double figures.

- Hey, Madea.

- Hey!

- This is my mama, Kim.

- How you doin'?

- Good to meet you.

- Nice to meet you, Medium.

And this is my daddy, Buddy.

- Nice to meet you.

- How you doin', Buddy?

- I'm doing well.

- I see y'all brought a bag.

No, that's just my wife.

Forgive my husband. He is

just a horse's ass and a half.

- Wait. I smell cookin'.

- Yeah, that's Eileen.

- Her mama was up in there cooking.

- Where is she?

She was in the kitchen,

but she went to the backyard.

Come on. Sit down. Take a load off.

Take a load off. Y'all sit a spell.

- Y'all want something to drink?

- I believe I'll have something.

I like you. You're a nice lady.

Don't be flirting with me

in front of your wife.

If I put this thing on,

you won't be able to get rid of it.

I'll have him pay my rent,

car note and everything else.

I'm from the old school.

Believe me, he can't help it.

And if you can stand him,

you're welcome to him, right?

- Hey, Conner, get me a beer.

- Yes, sir.

Well, Miss Madea...

looks like we're gonna be spending

Christmas dinner together this year...

but don't you worry.

We could care less you're black.

"African-American," Buddy.

Right, whatever. African-American.

That's all right. I don't care

that y'all are white America...

Angro... Angrola-Saxons...

Saxophonists.

I don't care. That don't matter at

all that y'all Anglo-Saxophonists.

I like her.

She's got a good sense of humor

and those big, sturdy feet.

You need a good sense of

humor with this group in here.

- Here, Daddy, beer. Drink up.

- Appreciate it.

- Please, drink up.

- I'll tell you what, Son.

That last girl you with

was so dadgum ugly...

my dog humped her leg

and shut his eyeballs.

Oh, stop it. He's awful!

"He shut his eyeballs." That's ugly.

Please forgive my husband.

He is a wannabe comedian.

You are no Jeff Foxworthy.

Rate this script:3.5 / 10 votes

Tyler Perry

Tyler Perry (born Emmitt Perry Jr.; September 13, 1969) is an American actor, playwright, and filmmaker. In 2011, Forbes listed him as the highest paid man in entertainment, earning $130 million USD between May 2010 and 2011.Perry created and performs the Madea character, a tough elderly black woman. Perry's films vary in style from orthodox filmmaking techniques to filmed productions of live stage plays. Perry is estimated to have earned around US$75 million by 2008. Many of Perry's stage-play films have been subsequently adapted as films. Perry wrote and produced many stage plays during the 1990s and early 2000s. Perry has developed several television series, most notably Tyler Perry's House of Payne, which ran for eight seasons on TBS from June 21, 2006, to August 10, 2012. On October 2, 2012, Perry struck an exclusive multi-year partnership with Oprah Winfrey and her Oprah Winfrey Network. The partnership was largely for the sake of bringing scripted television to the OWN, based on Perry's previous success in this area. Perry has created multiple scripted series for the network, The Haves and the Have Nots being its most successful. The Haves and the Have Nots has given OWN its highest ratings to date as of 2014, with the series also referred to as "one of OWN's biggest success stories with its weekly dose of soapy fun, filled with the typical betrayals, affairs, and manipulations." more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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    "A Madea Christmas" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2025. Web. 20 Jan. 2025. <https://www.scripts.com/script/a_madea_christmas_1960>.

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