A Modern Twain Story: The Prince and the Pauper Page #2

---

No... Hold on.

Eddie, go in the trailer for a second, okay?

I have to work out a little problem.

Fine.

Am I hearing this?

'Cause I'm not happy. Not happy.

I hate my life.

- Hey.

- Hey.

Hey, I was just wondering,

do you guys have any jobs available?

- On the lot?

- Yeah.

- Come back on Tuesday from 9:00 to 3:00.

- For what?

To fill out an application.

Oh! Oh, oh, I don't know if I want a job,

I just want to see if there are any.

Well, when you figure it out,

come back on Tuesday from 9:00 to 3:00.

Okay, thanks.

Hey. Eddie Tudor.

I don't want your bodyguard

to beat me up or anything.

- I don't have a bodyguard.

- You don't?

- Who the heck are you?

- Tom Canty.

Look, what do you want from me?

An autograph?

Oh, no. I just wanted to stop by and say hi.

I don't have many friends,

just a whole bunch of old people and losers.

Yeah, I can tell.

Yeah. Well, it's pretty cool that you get

to act in movies all the time.

- Oh, you're an actor?

- Yeah.

What have you been in?

This and that...

Well, nothing yet, but I'm hoping to be.

Why?

I mean, it's not like it's fun or anything.

It's not like you can take your boat out,

or blow up old set props when you want to.

It's just, "Rehearse this and act this,

and smile here and go there."

- It's kind of annoying.

- Sounds great to me.

You have a dad?

No. No, my parents died.

I live with my grandpa.

- You?

- Nah, never knew him.

I don't know where he is now.

Oh, that's horrible.

- You want to see my boat?

- Sure.

Cool.

- Wow, that's so awesome! It's an Ebbtide.

- Yeah, I know.

Are you gonna take it out today?

Well, not right now, but I do know how.

I had to drive a boat for my last movie.

I do all my own stunts,

and the special effects people

taught me how.

They're the coolest people

to know on the set. It's great.

They even taught me how to hot-wire it.

Just for fun, though.

They made me promise not to steal a boat.

Still sounds cool to me.

Do you have an Xbox?

No, no.

My Pop's really strict on stuff like that.

Sometimes we go down

to the local coffee shop

and we can play some arcade games,

but nothing more than that.

- I have an Xbox back in my trailer.

- You do?

Wow. Your mom really lets you play this?

She has no idea what I do.

Well, she wasn't always a producer,

but now she's just busy all the time.

But whatever. Who cares?

Yeah, my grandpa just works

in people's backyards.

I know Miles Henlon, though.

Yeah, he's an actor. He used to work

on this show called Palm Beach High.

It was shot on this lot.

And he did a lot of movies in the '80s.

He met Marlon Brando once. That's his hero.

- Who?

- Marlon Brando,

the greatest actor that ever lived.

Oh.

- Whoa, is that your suit?

- Yeah.

Unbelievable!

You know, it's not as shiny close up.

Well, that's 'cause they spray this shiny goo

all over it before I shoot. It's cool.

And that's where you keep your G4X laser!

Oh, man. That's awesome.

Yeah.

- You don't mind if I try it on, do you?

- No, go ahead. Whatever.

Sweet.

Oh, yeah.

Holy cow! You look just like me!

Unbelievable. Wait a minute. Take this.

Whoa!

Come in.

We're ready for rehearsal, Mr. Tudor.

Well, Eddie, I should be going.

Maybe we can switch it...

Hang out again sometime.

- Oh, wait!

- See you.

Well?

Oh, yeah?

I'll wait for you outside.

Hey! Hey! What are you doing here?

What are you...

This is Gate L.

I think we just had an intruder.

Thomas!

Oh, man. It's his grandfather.

What the bejeepers is going through

that crazy mind of yours?

You know you had me worried

half to death? You know that?

When you didn't come home from school,

I knew exactly where to find you.

Now, get in there!

You know, you think you want to be

an actor 'cause you think it's easy, huh?

Put your seat belt on.

Life is about hard work and sacrifice.

You don't get something for nothing,

Thomas. You gotta work.

And you work hard,

good things will happen.

What do I always tell you?

Well, what do I always tell you?

You know, a crazy person could have

snatched you right up off the street

and kidnapped you.

Look,

I try to be good to you.

I know you had it hard.

And, well, I haven't had to be a real parent

in a long time.

And the only reason I push you

is 'cause I love you, kid.

- Let's just go to work.

- Okay.

Okay, Eddie. You know what the scene is.

Start at one, pick up the laser,

do a little banana.

Eddie, you getting this?

And after you make your banana

and land on two, go camera left and deliver.

Got it? Good. Roll sound!

All right, everybody. Let's get a solid one.

- Rolling!

- And action!

Eddie, Eddie. Let's go.

Laser. Pick up... Banana. Two. Banana!

Eddie! Eddie!

Come on, kid, we did it 1,000 times.

He's not supposed to faint.

- What is that?

- You know what this is. Stop it.

I'm not touching that stuff.

Well, you used to think it was funny.

You used to make me laugh.

- Well, I can make you laugh.

- Hey, listen, let's just do the work.

Lay the stuff out

and then we can go home for dinner.

- Knock, knock.

- What?

- Knock, knock.

- Who's there?

- Interrupting cow.

- What?

- Not "what," "who." Knock, knock.

- Who's there?

Interrupting cow.

Interrupting...

- That's a good one. Knock, knock.

- Who's there?

Interrupting cow.

Interrupting cow...

Are you crazy? What? Are you high?

No. You're funny.

- I'm funny?

- Yeah.

What's gotten into you, Tom?

Oh, no. I'm not Tom.

I'm Eddie Tudor. I'm an actor.

Tom's back at my trailer.

We switched places. It's good to meet you.

You know, you gotta stop this.

You're starting to scare me.

Well, I'm not Tom. Just look at my face.

We switched clothes and everything.

You're going to give your Pop

a heart attack.

No. You don't get it. You're not my Pop.

Fine, Tom.

If that's the way you feel,

then I'm heading home.

I don't feel much like work today.

No. I didn't mean it like that. It's...

It's just... I'm not Tom.

- You can't keep working him so hard.

- Oh, Jerry. Don't be so dramatic.

You don't think maybe

you're pushing him too hard, Harlin?

He's faking. You've seen him do it 100 times.

He's just looking for attention.

Maybe that's 'cause he needs it.

- What do you mean by that?

- You haven't even been in there to see him.

Look, Jerry, I'm a single mom.

I'm doing the best that I can.

I have been working very hard to make

a better life for that kid,

and you're going to throw it in my face?

Besides, he's passed out, for Christ's sake.

He wouldn't know if I was in there or not.

Let's go, kid. The jig is up.

I said let's go. We know you're faking.

I'm really sorry.

It all happened so fast.

I just came in here to see Eddie Tudor.

And then we switched clothes

and the production assistant...

Hold it! What are you talking about?

I thought you knew.

I'm not Eddie. My name's Tom Canty.

Oh, my God.

I've had it. We've all had it.

I know your little fainting spell

was a put-on.

- Huh?

- It was a fake.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes