A New Leaf Page #4

to hold a cup and saucer in your hand,

then you shouldn't be drinking tea.

- Once yes, but twice in a row ...

- Is too much ... too much.

Madam. There you are, Madam.

Take your damn carpet to the cleaners

and send the bill to me.

Here you are. Come, Ms Lowell,

I'm taking you home.

Take your bag.

You son of a b*tch!

You dare call me a son of a b*tch?

Madam, I have seen many examples

of perversion in my time ...

but your erotic obsession

with your carpet ...

is probably the most grotesque and certainly

the most boring I have ever encountered.

You're more to be scorned than pitied.

Good day, Mrs Cunliffe.

You can dismiss your car.

I'll take you home in mine.

I came by bus.

I beg your pardon?

I ... I didn't come by car, I came by bus.

- By bus?

- On the bus.

And then to be treated in this manner?

Perfect.

This is very nice of you. Thank you.

And I'm terribly sorry.

No, you don't have to apologize, Ms Lowell.

Your behavior has been impeccable.

No. I did spill the tea twice.

You were a guest.

A woman of your stature has a right to expect

every courtesy in any home she consents to visit.

What stature?

Oh, come now, Ms Lowell.

I've read far too many

botanical journals ...

to take that question seriously.

Are you a botanist?

No. Just a botanical journal reader.

Every science has its fans.

Carbon on the valves.

Tell me about yourself, Ms Lowell.

Your work, your hopes, your dreams ...

Well, I work as a teacher and I also

do field work and write monographs.

On my last field trip I identified

and classified ...

all the varieties of ferns

on Jolly Buoy.

It was one of the longest

monographs I've ever written.

I'd love to read it sometime.

My hope is to discover a new

variety of fern ...

that has never been

described or classified.

I don't know what my dream is.

Do you think it could be

the same as my hope?

Well, in any way, that is my work and my hope,

except for my dreams which I'm not certain of.

What happens if you discover a

new species ...

that has never been

described or classified?

Well ... nothing terribly much

except that ...

you are ...

you're listed as its discoverer ...

and the entire species is named after you.

Oh, like Parkinson's disease

being named after James Parkinson.

That's right.

Or the bougainvillea being named

after Louis de Bougainville.

- Or like ... Brussels sprouts.

- Yes, that's right, that's right.

It's a kind of immortality, isn't it?

Yes. Yes, I guess it is.

This seems rather presumptuous,

doesn't it, to hope for immortality?

Not to me.

If you can't be immortal, why bother?

Oh, Henry, you are really so ...

self-assured.

You're so positive.

It almost gives me confidence

just to be with you.

Then in a very short time you will be

a very confident botanist because ...

I intend to be with you

a great deal of the time.

Oh, heavens.

With your consent, of course.

Oh, yes. I consent. I ... I just ...

Oh, heavens!

- I will pick you up at 7.

- Yes. Bye.

Until this evening.

Heavens.

Heavens.

Good morning, Mis-

Good morning, Mr Graham.

You have exactly 7 days

and 9 hours to destitution.

Shall I serve your breakfast in bed ...

or would you like me to follow

you about with the tray?

No, thank you, Harold.

I haven't got time to eat.

See if you can find a

college outline of botany.

Reserve a table for two

at Pavillion for tonight.

Get the florist on the phone and start

making out a guest list.

I think I have found,

God help us, Ms Right.

Heavens. How tasteful.

'55 was a glorious year

for Mouton Rothschild.

Better than '53, I think.

Don't you?

May I ask you something?

Certainly, Henrietta.

Have you ever tasted ...

Mogen David's extra-heavy Malaga

wine with soda and lime juice?

Er, not that I can recall.

One of my students happened

to introduce it to me ...

on a field trip to the Canary Islands.

It tastes a little like grape juice

and every year is good.

Why don't you just drink grape juice?

It's not as sweet.

I had never drunk wine at all

until I tried ...

Mogen David's extra-heavy Malaga wine

with soda and lime juice.

It's delicious.

It's called a Malaga cooler.

Malaga cooler.

Oh, well that ... sounds ... unique.

- Thank you, Laurent.

- You're welcome, sir.

- Thank you, Laurent.

- You're welcome, Mr Graham. Good night.

- Good night, Mr Graham.

- Night, steward, thank you very much.

- Good to see you again, sir.

- Thank you.

- 5 days and 11 hours.

- Today is Wednesday, isn't it?

- Yes.

Then the ceremony will have to be

this Saturday ...

that means that I will have to

propose tonight, God help me ...

if we're to get license by Friday ...

Do you know anything about Mendel's

experiments? Listen to me, please, Harold.

- Mendel's experiments with garden peas?

- No.

Well, bone up and study the chapter

on classification.

I'll have to have someone test me ...

on division, class, order, family, genus,

species and variety ...

before I go on to seed and fruit dispersal.

Oh, I'm so glad you found a nice

suitable young lady.

She's not suitable. She's primitive.

She has no spirit,

no wit, no conversation ...

and she has to be vacuumed

every time she eats.

Oh, she must be very wealthy, sir.

Yes, she is.

Cancel my theater tickets for tonight.

I'll have to start early if

I'm going to propose.

Yes, sir. Oh, shall I order

additional champagne, sir?

No. No champagne.

Order a dozen bottles of ...

Mogen David's extra-heavy Malaga wine

and lime juice.

And lower your eyebrows, please.

I told you she was primitive.

To science.

Do you have any straws?

Straws? No straws.

Should have told you to buy straws.

I have recently been re-reading

Gregor Mendel's ...

fascinating experiments with garden peas.

And it has struck me again ...

how much we owe our understanding

of plant genetics ...

with all its myriad implications

to that brilliant pioneer.

Yes, but we mustn't forget

Morgan and Muller.

- Morgan, Muller and Mendel.

- Who?

Gregor Mendel, the man

that you just mentioned.

Morgan, Muller and Mendel, I think ...

are a perfect example of

scientific synthesis.

Erm ... does it seem that to you?

No, it doesn't.

Collective appraisal has

never appealed to me.

- Oh, I didn't mean to criticize ...

- Ooh!

Oh, your carpet. Your beautiful carpet.

Oh, that's alright, Henrietta, please ...

No, no, don't, no, please, Henrietta.

Is there any cold water?

No, no, never mind.

Please sit down, Henrietta.

Henrietta, please. Nonsense. Nonsense.

The floor needed a touch of color.

Henry, I'm so stupid and clumsy and gauche.

I don't know what to say.

I've ruined another carpet.

No, Henrietta, please. Stop that. Can you

possibly believe, for one moment ...

that what happens to this foolish, hairy

floor covering matters to me ...

when I have you sitting beside me?

looking at me with your beautifully soft ...

yet highly intelligent, well-informed eyes?

Talking to me in your gentle ...

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