A Night at the Roxbury Page #12

Doug pulls out the phone, starts dialing. Steve starts

organizing the desk.

DOUG:

Hey, Steve?

STEVE:

Yeah?

DOUG:

I was just thinking. Dad would

really be proud of us right now.

They both smile. Mrs. Butabi enters.

MRS. BUTABI

Boys, your father's furious. You

were supposed to be at work an

hour ago.

DOUG:

Alright, we're gonna have to do

some re-scheduling.

CUT TO:

INT. SILK PLANT STORE -AFTERNOON

Doug, behind cash register, holding clipboard, on the

phone.

DOUG:

Yes, hello, I'm interested in your

sound systems. I've heard good

things about your woofers and

tweeters.

Steve walks over.

STEVE:

Doug, I...

DOUG:

I'm on a call.

Steve nods, knowing what to do. He pulls a Post-It,

writes something down and sticks it on Doug's clipboard.

A LADY walks up with a small plant. Doug puts a"Register Closed" sign on the counter. The Lady leaves

and we FOLLOW her TO Mr. Butabi.

LADY:

Mr. Butabi, where is the other

cash register?

MR. BUTABI'S POV

Cash register. There are several Post-Its stuck to the

counter. Steve is filling out another one.

BACK TO SCENE:

MR. BUTABI

I'll be with you in a second, Mrs.

Manicotti.

Mr. Butabi goes over to the cash register.

DOUG:

One second, Dad.

MR. BUTABI

It's good to see you're on a

break. I mean, after all, you've

been here almost twenty minutes

now and it's hard work listening

to your walking man and ringing up

the one customer you've had.

DOUG:

Dad, I'm sensing a note of sarcasm.

MR. BUTABI

This is a very nice sign. Except for

one thing.

(exploding)

This is the only register! This is

why I pay you -- to push a button and

take the money. Is that too much?

Is there some problem I don't know

about? Did you injure your button

pushing finger in a bad cell phone

accident?

DOUG:

Dad, why don't you go to Rexall's

Drug Store. I think you need to

purchase a bottle of chill pills.

MR. BUTABI

Just when I thought I had you doing

the absolute minimum, you astound me

with how much less you can do.

DOUG:

For your information, Dad, we are

working our asses off.

STEVE:

Yeah, our week's filling up pretty

quick.

DOUG:

Dad, last night, Steve and I

happen to have made a very

important business contact.

MR. BUTABI

Oh, what are you dancing the

Macarena with Donald Trump?

STEVE:

Did you want me to go the drug

store to get those pills?

DOUG:

I think we should tell him now.

(excited)

Dad, you're gonna love this. We're

working on this club idea which could

include many silk plant opportunities

and guess who we thought could be our

supplier?

MR. BUTABI

Yes, I need you to give me

opportunities. I feed you, I clothe

you, I put a roof over your head and

I pay for your little phones so you

can call other idiots. I give up on

you two. I am ashamed to call you my

sons.

DOUG:

There you go again, Dad. You always

tell us to do something with our

lives and when we finally do, what

happens? You got to put us down.

You never support us, you never

encourage us, and you never care

about what's important to us. Right,

Steve?

STEVE:

Do you need a prescription for those

pills?

MR. BUTABI

It's my own fault. I spoil you.

From now on, you are no longer

allowed to go out to clubs at

night.

DOUG/STEVE

What?

MR. BUTABI

Now enough wasting time. Go clean

up the stock room.

DOUG:

You know what, Poppason, not only

will Steve and I not clean the

stock room, but we are officially

out of here!

(to Steve)

Come on.

Doug starts walking out.

STEVE:

But what about the stock room?

DOUG:

We quit!

(turns back to Dad)

And we don't need you! We made

big contacts last night!

STEVE:

Yeah, plus we met these girls,

Dad, and you wouldn't believe what

happened.

DOUG:

(to Dad)

We're gonna make it without you.

You'll see.

Doug exits, Steve follows him.

MR. BUTABI

Yes, I'll see tonight when you get

hungry and you come home to eat my

food. And when you come crawling

to me for more money!

CUT TO:

EXT. SILK PLANT STORE - CONTINUOUS ACTION

Doug and Steve barrel out the front door and head

straight for the van. Emily, in a sexy sun dress,

carrying two big huge oversized lightbulbs where her

breasts would be, steps in front of them.

EMILY:

Hey, Steve! Do you want to go to

the beach later? I've got my

bathing suit on under this.

DOUG:

(to Emily)

Not now!

Doug blows by Emily. Beat. He steps back INTO FRAME --

takes a second look at the odd bulb positions -- and

exits again. The guys start getting into the van.

EMILY:

I'm not talking to you, Doug.

You're an ass.

STEVE:

Emily, we're experiencing a major

family crisis. I'm gonna have to

take a rain check on this convo.

DOUG:

Steve! Car!

STEVE:

(as he gets into

the car)

Nice bulbs, Emily.

Steve gets in. They PEEL OUT.

EMILY:

(yells after them)

So, you want to go out tonight?

CUT TO:

INT. VAN - CONTINUOUS ACTION

The guys speed along on their way to Butabi. Doug is

looking over a sheet of paper.

DOUG:

Okay, these are the ideas we'll

pitch him. The Jungle Paradise.

STEVE:

Killer.

DOUG:

The Inside Out Club.

STEVE:

Money.

DOUG:

The Civil War.

STEVE:

That one needs work.

DOUG:

Yeah. We'll hold off on that one.

And let's not forget our ace in

the hole -- The Naked Room.

STEVE:

I think we should call it 'The

Nudist Colony.'

DOUG:

That sounds like a strip club.

And this is a dance club.

STEVE:

You're right. We'll go with 'The

Naked Room.'

CUT TO:

EXT. ZADIR'S MANSION

The silk van drives up. Steve and Doug get out and walk

up to the locked gate.

DOUG:

Zadir's gonna be excited to see

us. This is it, bro...

Doug presses the intercom. They wait.

STEVE:

This is it.

Doug presses the intercom buzzer again. No response. As

they wait, Steve starts to sing to himself.

STEVE:

(very softly)

'This is it, make your mistakes

where you are. This is it...'

We realize Steve is singing "This Is It" by Kenny

Loggins. Doug slowly joins in as they pass the time.

STEVE/DOUG

'... We're going no further.'

The both step singing as Doug hits the buzzer again.

After a beat of waiting, Steve picks up the song where

they left off...

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