A Perfect Getaway Page #4

I mean, you know, he thinks

you're going to write a movie

about his life

or something.

What do we know?

Well, she's from Savannah. Her

father is a controlling military sh*t.

She rebelled. She met

Nick in South Carolina,

but he reminded her

too much of Daddy.

He chased her until finally

giving up and moving on,

but that's when she got

interested in him, of course.

It's their first

time in Hawaii.

They thought Waikiki

was a little Las Vegas,

but they love

it here on Kauai.

Girls talk.

So, they were

on Oahu, too.

I guess they were.

Interesting guy, Cliff.

Yeah.

First man ever who wants to

talk while he's in the bathroom.

What is going on

back there?

You keep shaking that bush

so we know you're there.

Keep shaking

that bush, Luke!

I mean, we're supposed to be

on our honeymoon. Okay?

So, slow down that

overactive brain of yours

'cause I want to

enjoy myself here.

Babe, we're gonna be fine.

Well, I guess the beach

will still be there tomorrow.

Yeah, I hope we are.

All right. We got macaroni and

cheese with real imitation cheese.

Honey, that's a vegetable

dish where I come from.

What else you got?

Vegetarian corned beef hash.

What is vegetarian

corned beef hash?

That is suspicious,

but I might dig into that

before eating

chicken omelet surprise.

What's so bad about that?

Well, the surprise is that they're

gonna take the egg out of the chicken,

whip it up, and then put the

chicken back into the egg.

That's good reflexes,

for a writer.

What?

I love that stuff.

What?

What, what?

What do you mean,

"What, what"?

What's everybody

looking at?

Whatever he's looking at.

Probably just a goat. There's

a lot of them in these valleys.

I haven't seen any goats.

I don't expect

you would, Cliff.

Your situational awareness kind

of sucks. That's not a knock.

You're a screenwriter.

I'm a Jedi.

That's just

different paths we chose.

Think they kill them first?

Or he just drown in there?

I always wondered.

No, I'm good.

Just so I know whether

or not to be offended,

define

"situational awareness.' '

What's the first thing you do

when you step onto a plane?

Maybe you have a sip

of that fine champagne?

You do fly in

first class, right?

I put away my sh*t,

like everyone else.

Well, when I board a plane, making

my way back to the cheap seats,

I clock every door.

I pace off the distance

between those exits and my seat.

That plane loses

power on takeoff,

I can make egress in

the dark, totally blind.

If the aisle crowds up, I'm going

to climb over the back of 36D,

guy with that shiny-ass toupee,

make the over-the-wing exit.

And I know the handle

swings down, not up.

And I know the door

swings in, not out.

And I know all that

inside of 30 seconds,

before they even pop the cork for

you up there in Hollywood class.

See, if you wait till the emergency

happens before you decide what to do,

you're already dead.

What chance do you have

of that happening?

Happened in Sioux City.

Sioux City?

DC-10. It rolled

four times on landing.

Wound up in an Iowa

cornfield, 112 people dead.

Yeah, I remember seeing that on TV.

Yeah.

I saw it from the inside.

He is really hard to kill.

Let's go.

Hey! What are you going

to do with that thing?

Dinner. Come on.

Dry underwear,

but thanks, though.

Here, kitty, kitty,

kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty.

Come on, kitty, kitty.

Kitty, kitty.

Excuse me?

It's no problem.

You want to stay in the

kitchen with the lady folks,

you stay.

Yeah, I'm an adult,

so that kitty noise, that's

not... Doesn't work anymore.

You know,

it crossed my mind

that it crossed your mind

that we're the ones.

Me and Gina.

The ones who...

It's okay, Cliff.

That's your screenplay-writer

mind working its magic,

spinning sh*t every which

way. You gotta think like that.

What? The killers?

"The Gruesome Twosome.' '

Possible title number two.

See, now I think your

mind's spinning, Nick.

So, you think it's

just a coincidence

we were there at

the same time on Oahu?

Just like Cydney

and I were there.

Just a lot of people on Oahu

when the murders happened.

That's the way

you look at it?

That's exactly how

I look at it, Nick.

Good.

Though it would make

a hell of an Act 2 twist.

We're not really hunting

goats here, are we?

No.

Then mind telling me what the

hell we are doing out here?

We got us a shadow.

Two of them.

Haven't identified them as hostile

yet, but they passed by our camp,

double backed

for a second look

and then they took cover

somewhere in here.

I know,

you didn't see them.

People from the Falls?

It's someone else.

All right, should get

back to camp. Come on.

Gina could take

care of herself.

I was thinking

about Cydney.

Gina could take

care of her, too.

Are you just so f***ing with me, Nick?

If I was the killer,

I wouldn't stay in Oahu.

I'd come right here.

Wait.

I'm a little

worried about Cliff.

He's not really, you know,

the bow and arrow type.

Please.

Boys are happiest

when they're hunting

something they

can't quite catch.

Besides, gives us

a little time together.

No, dope's not

really my thing.

So, what is

your thing, Cydney?

'Cause we really

hadn't heard yet.

It would sound

kind of boring to you.

Well, try me.

Well, we've been working

really hard at getting pregnant.

We're gonna have five kids,

two boys and three girls,

and they'll be beautiful

beyond belief, of course.

We wanna get a place in the

Palisades, close to one of the bluffs.

Take long walks

in the summertime,

and watch all

the boats come in.

You know, and it'll just

be us, you know, our family.

And I guess, you know, I'll

just be happy being called Mom

and Mrs. Cydney Anderson

for a while.

You know, there was this

preacher back in Georgia

and he used to tell all us

kids how we would rot in hell

for having sex outside

the sanctity of marriage.

And then one day, you know,

bless his little heart,

his wife caught him out back the

Waffle House with some hooker.

A hooker with

a really big dick.

Yeah. So, now

when people wanna tell me

how so f***ing

perfect their lives are,

I don't believe them.

Um...

Hey!

Nick!

I do lie about my

old life sometimes.

See, when my parents stopped

slapping the crap out of each other

and split up,

they decided that they

could have two kids each.

The problem was

there was five kids,

so I did the foster

scare thing for a while

and that only lasted until

I met this guy named Rocky.

He was a couple

of years older.

And it's so funny.

Everyone in the neighborhood

thought he was like this fine,

young gentleman, you know.

But I saw something different

in him, something risky,

something crooked and cool.

Didn't hurt that he had

his own truck, neither.

He did.

Yeah.

Wrong paint on one door, but damn,

he had some nice chrome wheels on it.

Yeah. I know Rocky.

Yeah, this one night, he

drove me out onto the lake.

And it was

hot and raining.

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