A Perfect Getaway Page #5

And I had the top

button of my shorts

all undone for this guy, you know,

and just hoping this is

why we came down here.

Oh, God.

You know, I remember the way

the cracks in the vinyl seat

were pinching

the back of my legs.

You know,

and that was bothering me,

but what he was doing with

his fingers sure wasn't.

And suddenly, he's in my

hand, all slippery and nice,

and he's about to go off.

And I'm about to come for,

like, the first time, ever.

And then he puts

the headlights on.

And he makes me get

out of the car to go...

Go look at something

over by a pile of leaves.

And it was Goldie,

the neighbor's Labrador.

And he still had...

He still had the panty hose

wrapped around his neck

from when he had

hung it from a tree.

He said he would kill me

if I ever told anybody.

Well, did you

ever tell anybody?

Yeah.

Right now.

Jesus!

You know, it always amazes me how

much people talk about themselves

when they're on vacation.

Talk to people

they only just met.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Hey, what you doing?

Cliff, yeah?

Cliff Anderson.

What are you doing?

I thought that was you, but then

I seen four peeps instead of two,

you know,

I got all mixed up and...

But what are you doing here? Why are

you following us and who is that female?

That's my b*tch, Jessie.

But what are you

doing here?

Your permits, brother.

You had leave them

at the store, okay?

You came all

this way just to...

Auntie thought

you needed them.

This ain't

the mainland, brother.

We do this sh*t

here, okay?

Okay?

All right. All right,

I'm sorry. Okay? Easy.

No, no, no. Hey,

I'm sorry. I'm...

I guess we're all

just stressed

with those killers being over

here now. I'm really sorry.

Here.

No, no, no.

On this island?

Yeah.

My papers, brother.

I... I saw a news

report on it. You didn't?

No. I don't

watch the news.

It's way too

informational.

Hey, just... Why don't you come back

to camp and have some dinner with us?

Okay? You and

your b*tch friend.

Thanks, but you know what, I'm not feeling

the running stream of love over here,

you know what I mean?

Here's your permits.

I'm gonna head on back to town.

Careful on that trail. Huh?

Mess you up good

unless you know it good.

Hey, babe, where you been? Are you okay?

Yeah.

Where's Nicko at?

Last time I saw him,

he was up in...

I don't know,

over there.

Well, look at that.

Yeah, baby,

look at that.

Hold this

for me, Cliff.

One to the neck, I broke

it off. The body's clean.

Okay, baby,

you are a man in full,

but how's about putting the head

that way so the blood runs downhill

instead of all over our

sh*t? Again, Cliff, thank you.

Okay, and how's

about you make sure

to cinch off

the esophagus this time

so you don't

foul the meat?

Oh, I'm sorry, are you

going to do this or am I?

Hey, I ran into your friends.

They looked a little spooked.

What did you say to them? Just...

Hey, Cliff,

can I see that thing?

Thank you.

See, I spent a summer in the meat

department at the Piggly Wiggly,

so this ain't

nothing to me.

But if you're squeamish...

You wanna get all the way

back here, the anus.

And now what

you want to do is

get the bag,

the gut bag, out.

I mean, I find that more

interesting than gory, really.

You guys hungry?

You might wanna

bury that.

Okay.

These two have graduated to

the official crazy category.

You know that, right?

So, let's just pack our

bags and get out of here.

We can make up

some excuse. We can...

What, like what? Like, "We

think you're the killers?"

No, but we can...

We can say one of us doesn't

feel good or something.

Look, we don't have to

go through with this.

We can just

pack up our bags.

Look, it was hard

enough getting in here.

We can't just leave.

What do you suggest?

It's only two more

miles to the beach, right?

Two long miles.

I know, but I think we

have to ride this thing out.

Keep Nick talking.

Keep him thinking

he's going to be

the star of some

Hollywood movie.

Keep them both happy so that

everybody gets to the beach alive.

But we keep

our game face on.

Do not let them know

that anything is wrong here.

Do you understand me?

Hey, do you understand me?

Can you

hold that for me?

I just thought we were

gonna have a real honeymoon.

Rise and shine.

It's your wake-up call.

Out of the tent now.

Outside now.

We want to see

everybody's smiling face.

Sh*t! It was

only one goat.

This is

the Kauai County Police.

We want you face down

on the ground now.

We want to see your hands.

Show me your hands.

I repeat. Do not...

These boys are

coming in heavy.

You might want to hang back,

let them do their thing.

Get down on

the ground! F***ing pigs!

F*** you messing

with us for, man?

We ain't got nothing

to do with it, nothing!

Let's hold it

right there.

What the hell

did they do?

Can't say.

F***ing groping me!

All right, man,

all right! Relax!

Does it have something to do

with the murders on Honolulu?

Really can't say.

Wait a minute. It's those

guys! It's Kale and Cleo.

They think it's them.

Hey, baby, don't worry! Relax!

They ain't got nothing on us!

I'm gonna sue

your f***ing ass!

Hey, go ahead, man.

Look all you want.

Think there's a gun in

there? Show me a gun.

Kale! Kale!

We almost picked

these guys up in our car.

Baby! Baby, don't let

them take me! Let me out!

What the f***, man?

Wow.

You know,

I have to admit,

I thought it might

have been you guys.

What? You're joking!

So much for our

game face, huh?

I can't believe it 'cause

I thought it was you.

Oh, my God, it is!

You! The killer.

Well, whoopty-tah!

Ample time to

sunset, too, huh?

Outstanding.

Yes!

Hey, you guys, can you get a shot

of us, in front of this rainbow?

Baby, I look like hell.

Oh, come on.

No, you look great.

You're a good liar.

All right,

here you go.

Okay.

Just point

and shoot it, huh?

Yeah.

Okay. Rolling.

Go ahead.

Hey.

Hey.

We survived the trail and our honeymoon.

Hut. Hut.

Hey. Hey!

Hey, there's sea caves

down the coast.

Yeah.

Read about that. West-southwest,

around this point, I guess.

Well, let's do it.

No, I cut a deal

with these guys.

I got two kayaks,

one hour, 40 bucks.

And, no, you don't owe me 20.

Yeah, I just

got plans is all.

What kind of plans

could you have?

Covert plans.

You do know how

to handle a kayak?

Pallie, I've done

shark fishing in a kayak.

Coast of Alaska.

Caught a 400-pound

salmon shark.

He put up a hell of a fight, but

you know who's gonna win that battle.

Nick, are any

of your stories true?

You want me to send you pictures? Yeah.

Yeah.

Come on, let's go.

Come on, it'll give us a chance

to talk about our movie deal.

Cydney!

Tell her I'll be back for

a sunset walk! Me and Gina.

Where are they going?

What?

The sea caves!

They won't be long!

Son of a b*tch.

Nick! Wait! Don't go!

Come back!

Hey, what is she saying?

I don't know.

Come back, come back.

She's got a nice bounce

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