A Royal Night Out Page #5

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Anyway...

When I got back, I went to see the...

Station Commander,

good old Winco Glossop.

And I asked ever so politely

to be stood down for a bit.

He takes my stripes,

stamps "low moral fibre" over my pay-book,

sends me straight back

out to fight the Japs.

Who says the RAF

hasn't got a sense of humour, eh?

Wait.

It'll keep till morning.

The condemned men had one last drink

before they died.

A drink.

A bloody good drink.

Nothing else for it.

You know,

you're not such a bad chap, really.

Same goes for you.

Wait a minute.

Red caps.

They'll want to see my papers.

Are you sure about this?

No. I'll meet you inside.

- By the band.

- Be careful.

I distinctly asked

to be kept informed.

- You two, at your posts!

- Yes, sir.

They should've been home long ago.

- We'll have to send out a search party.

- No need to panic, woman.

As you say,

we have reliable people looking after them.

So where are they?

They weren't ready. I knew it.

One little whiff of

freedom and they're gone.

Lillibet will bring them through.

She's responsible. She knows her duty.

She knows how a princess

should conduct herself.

I hope so.

I say,

Lord Stan, isn't it marvellous?

If you don't mind my saying so, ma'am,

it's time you were leaving.

Oh, just another minute, Lord Stan.

It's so lovely.

- I don't know. I'm not so sure it's a good idea.

- Care to dance?

- Just one dance.

- Hang on!

Who let you in, spiv?

Now, listen. I have to take the lady home.

I promised.

Boys, boys, boys, can't we talk about this?

Look, how are you boys doing for Scotch?

Nylons?

Bananas?

Bananas?

Let's go in here and we'll discuss it.

Say a bunch each?

Oi!

God save our gracious King

Long live our noble King

God save the King

Send him vic...

Evening, chaps.

Incognito.

Security is dreadful here.

- Absolutely appalling.

- Hm.

Carry on.

Hmm?

Oi, airman.

What are you doing here, son?

I said oi!

Your coat, miss?

You look that side, I'll look this side.

All right.

You look lovely.

- She's mine.

- Hello.

- Can I get you anything else, sir?

- Don't fancy a dance, do you?

Are you a lady of the night?

I could be anything

you want me to be, Captain.

Oh, no, I'm all right, thank you.

- You're quite sure?

- Oh, no, no.

- Two, please.

- Coming up.

I saw her first, Pulteney. She's mine.

- Let go of me.

- You're outranked, Lieutenant.

Oh, well, I outrank both of you...

Enormously.

Ow! No! Ow!

Please, get off!

Let go!

I order you... Ow!

Jack. Jack!

There, over there!

- It really hurts.

- Let her go.

- Help!

- I saw her first.

Ow!

Thank you.

- Margaret.

- Lillibet.

Thank God you're here.

It was all getting a bit fraught,

I must say.

Are you all right?

I've had the most remarkable night.

So I see.

Come on, Lillibet. This is what we wanted!

The Lindy Hop. Remember?

And round.

Good.

Then like that.

Woo!

Here's to you, fine sir.

Jack.

Jack.

Excuse me, sir. Excuse me, sir.

Stop that.

I said stop that at once!

Let go of him.

And who are you?

The Princess Elizabeth.

Let go of my friend, please.

Your friend, ma'am?

Yes. I'd like to think

he was my friend still.

Princess.

Yes.

Margaret, we need to go.

Please come with us.

Airman, show some respect

for your princesses.

Attention!

Are you gonna command me?

Ask you.

Marvellous party.

Thank you all so very much for bothering.

- Ma'am.

- Ma'am.

- Ma'am.

- Ma'am.

Princess Elizabeth,

thank God we found you, ma'am.

They'll be going doo-lally at the palace.

Go there, tell the King and Queen

that everything is under control.

They'll have us shot, ma'am.

We aren't letting you out of our sight

for a second,

not this time.

Pryce,

you may be a captain,

but I'm a princess.

And where is your cap?

I will not be seen

with an officer out of uniform.

Hmm.

Lillibet.

Margaret.

Bloody princess.

Just my sodding luck.

You said you were going to see your mum.

Can we come with you?

I can't take her back like this.

Jack.

Jack!

- I'm absolutely clapped out.

- Margaret.

We must get them

back to the palace immediately.

- Watch out, man.

- Taxi!

Jack.

Jack, let me explain.

The situation was... Complicated.

You lied to me all night long,

because you're a princess and you think

you can get away with whatever you like.

On the contrary.

So what do I call you?

- Your Highness?

- Lizzy.

Your Majesty?

- Lizzy is fine.

- No. No, it's not. Not any more.

You made a first-class prat out of me.

Well, I had to.

I've never so much as made

a cup of blooming tea for myself.

Never been out on my own.

Not once, not properly.

Even in the ATS, I had to sit between

chaperones and come home for dinner

while the rest of them ate compo rations.

But tonight nobody gave a damn who I was.

And if it wasn't for Margaret running off,

I never would have had

the opportunity to be just...

Ordinary.

On the most extraordinary night of my life.

Just so you know,

my mum's right out of red carpet.

Ma'am?

Come along, Burridge.

- Ma'am.

- Yes, keep up with them.

Ma'am, it really would be

rather more comfortable in this taxi.

Ma'am?

Cheers, Jack.

Isn't it a bit early?

She's a costermonger.

She sells fruit and veg.

- Where am I?

- Who's there?

- All right, Mum?

- Jack?

What the devil are you doing here?

I'm awfully glad to meet you.

We both are.

You all right?

Ooh. Oh, Hello.

Mags. I appear to be tipsy.

Can't think how.

In you come. Let's get you sorted out.

I'm just getting her into the bath.

- Thank you Mrs Hodges.

- Call me Joan.

Thank you, Joan.

Take the kettle off the boil, dear.

I'm borrowing the van, Mum.

Did you hear his speech?

- Yes.

- Poor old boy.

Never wanted the job, did he?

Got on with it, though.

Yes, he did, didn't he?

My sister, who's not used to having a drink,

got into a bit of a fix.

Jack, well, he got her out of it.

Doesn't usually move in your circles.

No. He doesn't care for my type.

He had a bad war.

- Told me.

- Really?

These boys went into the Air Force

with such idealism.

Where'd it all go, I wonder?

At least he's safe, though. Thank the Lord.

He's safe, isn't he?

I mean, turning up

in the middle of the night like this.

But it's not just any old night, is it?

It's VE night.

All sorts of unusual things are happening.

I feel certain an exception will be made.

Are you feeling

any better now, dear?

- Wake up, man!

- Oh, yes.

Thank you very much for the bath and...

Oh, a taxi!

Stop. Thank you.

We'd just like to thank you very much

for helping us.

Most kind.

We couldn't have done it without you.

Would you mind going back on your own?

- On my own?

- On your own?

I'm going with Jack.

Do you think that's a good idea?

We can't go back without you.

You can. I'll be along shortly.

But one princess is better than none.

Buckingham Palace, please.

Come along, Captain. Come along. That's it.

Sorry.

Fun night, don't you think?

Toodle-oo!

You will look after yourself,

won't you, Jack?

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