A Royal Scandal Page #4

And, by the way, a captairs uniform.

- Oh, Your Majesty!

- I congratulate you, Captain Alexei Chernoff.

Thank you, Your Majesty!

- Captain Chernoff.

- Yes, Your Majesty!

I want a report from you on the Western Army.

You will present yourself tonight at ten o'clock.

- Bring the facts and figures with you.

- Yes, Your Majesty.

- But the banquet for the ambassador...

- There'll be no banquet.

I beg Your Majesty, take into consideration,

the Marquis brings greetings

from King Louis himself.

Perhaps he does.

But this Russian boy risked his life because

he thought harm might come to his tsarina.

You can tell the representative

of the King of France

that I value the love and devotion

of this simple Russian soldier

more than all the greetings

from all the kings of Europe.

- Do you understand?

- Yes, Your Majesty.

But don't tell him.

That's all.

- Yes, white is very becoming to you.

- Oh, Your Excellency!

Good evening, Captain.

Many thanks for the wonderful stallion

you sent me. What a horse!

I want you to know there are five more

at your disposal.

Well, that's very generous of you,

but I really wouldn't know what to do

with half a dozen horses.

I thought they might come in handy

when you decide to go back.

I don't know what Her Majesty's commands

will be.

- I suppose everything will be decided tonight.

- Yes, I suppose it will be.

Oh, Your Excellency,

I have something I'd like to show you.

Here's the report I'm going to read

to Her Majesty tonight.

- What's wrong with Russia in 15 pages.

- You got all that in 15 pages?

And 20 pages

of what should be done with Russia.

That makes 35 pages.

And you're determined to read 35 pages

to Her Majesty tonight?

- Naturally.

- Those six horses might come in very handy.

It's a quarter to ten.

Sorry, Your Excellency, I'm sure

you'll understand, but I have to get ready.

Listen, Alexei, I like you very much.

I like your audacity. I like your overenthusiasm.

I liked you the moment you came out of the wall.

You're a soldier, a good one and a brave one.

The parquet floor of a palace is not for you.

It's too slippery, too tricky.

For your sake, and for the sake of the girl

who loves you, try to go back.

But if Her Majesty...

Are you suggesting I disobey

Her Majesty's orders?

Oh, no, no, no, no, no. But, you see, I'm used to

these parquet floors. I can walk on them.

I can dance on them. I can slide on them.

So, you see, with all this experience,

I may be able to advise you how to approach

Her Majesty and what to say to her.

No, Your Excellency, I don't want to be studied.

I want to say what I feel and... I'm going to say it.

Her Majesty's waiting for the captain.

Oh, it's too much for a woman.

Any woman.

- You wanted to see me?

- Your Majesty commanded me to come here.

Oh, yes, of course I did, dear.

What was it about?

About the condition of the Western Army.

You know, white is very becoming to you.

Er... Now, let me see,

I asked you to make some sort of report, didn't I?

- Yes, Your Majesty. I have it right here.

- Leave it there.

- So, you rode three days and three nights.

- Yes, Your Majesty.

- You must be thirsty.

- Oh, no, Your Majesty.

You are thirsty.

- Have a glass of champagne.

- Thank you, Your Majesty.

Thank you, Your Majesty.

And now, Alexei...

...what should we drink to?

To my most gracious tsarina.

The greatest empress

the world has ever known.

To Mother Russia!

- Let's drink to something else.

- Yes, Your Majesty.

Let's drink to something beautiful.

Something lovely.

I know. Let's drink to the spring.

Yes, to the spring.

Yes, Alexei.

The chill of winter's disappeared.

It's getting warmer and warmer.

- Do you feel that too?

- Yes, Your Majesty. Much warmer.

Let's drink to it.

Sit down, Alexei.

Now, you must tell me all about yourself.

- You must tell me where you were born...

- Well, I was...

I want to know all about your mother

and your father, your uncles and your aunts.

- Do you have a sister?

- I have...

Everything about you interests me.

I want to know who your friends are,

who you go about with, and er...

er... Oh, yes. What about the girls?

Well, there have been a few, Your Majesty.

- And you liked them?

- Some of them, yes.

I'm sure they liked you, Alexei.

Some of them, yes.

But that's all past.

- That was before...

- Before what?

Before I met her.

Oh.

- Oh, you're in love. For the first time?

- Yes, Your Majesty.

How do you know? How can you be sure?

You've nothing to compare it with.

Well, I don't know what to say, Your Majesty.

It's...

- I just have a feeling which...

- Describe that feeling.

Your Majesty,

I don't know how to put it into words.

Describe it. I command it.

Well...

Go on.

- Well...

- You said that before.

Now I know.

You see, Your Majesty,

when I'm in a room and she comes in...

That's enough.

- So, you're in love.

- Yes, Your Majesty.

Well, why shouldn't you be? It's natural.

- She's pretty, of course?

- Beautiful, Your Majesty. Beautiful.

She has the most wonderful complexion.

Her hair has the most lovely shine.

- Her eyes...

- All that is covered by beautiful.

Yes, Your Majesty.

- How old is she?

- 22.

Captain Chernoff, about this report.

- Yes, Your Majesty. I have it here.

- Give it to me.

Yes, very interesting. Very interesting.

- So, she's 22.

- But she doesn't look it.

Captain Chernoff,

I think you'd better return to the Western Army.

Yes, Your Majesty.

And yet I don't know.

You... you might be very useful here.

What would you like to do?

Well, of course, to be close to the throne

of my monarch is more than I ever dreamed.

But I'd also like to be out in the field,

fighting to add glory to the name of Catherine II,

our little mother.

Ha-

You will return to the western garrison.

I need someone trustwon'thy there,

someone I can depend upon.

- Thank you, Your Majesty.

- Report my decision to the Chancellor.

I guess those six horses will come in

handy after all.

- What six horses?

- The ones His Excellency put at my disposal.

Oh, he did? Good.

That's all.

Just a minute!

- Who put six horses at your disposal?

- His Excellency, the Chancellor.

- Why?

- For my return to my regiment.

- What made him so certain you would return?

- He seemed to think I should.

- Do you mean he suggested you should leave?

- He did.

And he gave you six horses?

Which he has probably stolen from my stables?

I should have thrown him out years ago!

I'll have him whipped. I'll whip him myself!

I'll have him hanged. I'll hang him myself!

I'll show him!

He's not only trying to govern Russia,

now he's trying to dominate my life.

Nobody has a right

to tell you to go back except me.

And if I want you to go back, you go back.

And I'll tell you when to go back,

where to go back, and how to go back.

And you're not going back.

I give orders here, and nobody else.

And if I want to make you tsar of all the Russias,

you will be tsar!

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