A Royal Scandal Page #5

Yes, Your Majesty!

- Forget what I said.

- Yes, Your Majesty.

Give me a glass of champagne.

- And have one yourself.

- Thank you, Your Majesty.

That senile old idiot.

He's full of gout, that's what he is.

- What else did he say?

- Oh, I think His Excellency meant well.

I didn't ask you that.

I don't believe His Excellency

has a very high opinion of me.

Frankly, he seems to think

I'm some sort of a fool.

That's a lot of nonsense. You're brilliant.

You think clearly, you speak intelligently,

you look simply divine in that uniform.

- I drink to you, Major.

- Captain, Your Majesty.

- It's Major.

- Your Majesty!

- May I say something, Your Majesty?

- Why, of course.

- When Your Majesty got so upset...

- I don't understand it. I very seldom do that.

Then I had the privilege of being present

at one of those rare moments. It was thrilling.

Your Majesty was a picture of strength

and determination.

No wonder our enemies are frightened.

No wonder our soldiers are inspired.

I'll never forget the moment

Your Majesty smashed that vase.

You looked like... like Hannibal crossing the Alps.

Your Majesty was born to be a conqueror.

Yes, a conqueror!

- Do you think so, Alexei?

- I know it. I feel it.

Oh, Alexei.

I could kiss you for that.

Oh, you don't know how good it is

to meet someone really devoted to the throne.

Someone I can talk to as a friend.

Someone I can open my heart to.

- You can, Your Majesty.

- I knew it.

I knew it the moment I looked into your eyes.

Let me look at them again.

Come nearer.

Nearer.

Yes... they're honest and good.

Very honest. Very good.

- Oh, Alexei.

- Yes, Your Majesty.

I'm so unappy.

Your Majesty.

I'm surrounded by thousands of people

in glittering uniforms. I'm never alone.

And yet I'm lonelier than the loneliest creature

in the loneliest corner of all my lands.

I'm lonely, Alexei.

Oh, Your Majesty.

Perhaps you'd better go.

Go out into the spring, where it's gay,

where people laugh.

Why should I trouble you with my burdens?

- Trouble me? Believe me, Your Majesty, I...

- Alexei!

Did you hear something?

- No, Your Majesty.

- It's probably nothing, just my nerves.

But don't misunderstand. I'm not afraid.

It isn't my life that worries me.

- I know, Your Majesty. It's Russia.

- Yes.

There's still a few little things I want

to accomplish, then let them do their worst.

- It won't matter.

- It won't matter?

But in the meanwhile,

whenever a door opens, believe me,

I never know whether it's a friend or an enemy.

Why, the very sentry at my gates - how do

I know that his mind isn't poisoned against me?

Will his bayonet protect me or...

I don't want to think about it.

You don't have to think about it.

No-one will harm you, believe me.

Let them come! All of them, and right now!

Those traitors! Those scoundrels!

Let them try to shake the throne,

I'll cut them to ribbons!

Your Majesty, if there's any excuse

for these two legs to be in this world,

it's to rush to your rescue

whenever you need me.

If there's any reason for these two arms

to be in existence, it's to protect you.

- And if these arms have any strength...

- And I'm sure they have.

...then you'll be safe, Your Majesty.

Oh, Alexei, I could kiss you for that.

And this time I will. Come here.

I kissed Catherine the Great.

Why did you do it?

I wish you hadrt.

Look, I'll be frank.

When I first came in here, I was a little timid.

But now I feel entirely different.

- I'm glad, Alexei.

- This is a great moment of my life,

and I'm not going to let it go by

without taking advantage of it.

- Your Majesty...

- Call me Catherine.

Catherine, I'm going to tell you

what's wrong with Russia.

- How is the revolution?

- Fine, thank you.

Revolution? What revolution?

- How are you, my dear general?

- Are you insinuating...?

I deny everything.

And, by the way, how is your nephew?

Nephew?

Is there anything wrong in having a nephew?

You've sent him back to the Ural Mountains.

- Are you spying on me?

- Certainly. I deny everything.

Excellency, this is sheer persecution.

You are hounding me.

You know,

somehow I can't get you out of my mind.

- I even dreamed about you last night.

- Something bad?

I don't know yet.

I'm going to dream the end tonight.

Oh, by the way,

your henchman, Colonel Ganov,

is waiting for you on the stairway.

Colonel Ganov is not my henchman

and he's not waiting for me!

I'm very glad to know it, and I apologise.

May I express one wish in all sincerity?

- Your head.

- My head? What's the matter with my head?

I just want to tell you, it looks so much better

on you than it would off you.

This is monstrous! This is infamous!

- You know what you are?

- I know, but I deny it.

Don't talk to me.

Good morning, Colonel.

- I didn't go to bed here.

- Oh, yes, you did, Colonel.

I had the honour of helping to undress you.

The Colonel forgets

that he was moved in here yesterday.

Oh, yes.

Well, look,

whoever's responsible for moving me...

for moving me constantly

from one room into another,

would you tell them I'm a simple soldier?

I'm used to sleeping in tents and barracks.

- This room's really big enough.

- Well, the anteroom certainly isn't.

It hardly can hold the people

who are waiting to pay their respects to you.

- General Ronsky.

- Ronsky? The famous Ronsky?

He happens to be outside,

and is very eager to meet you.

- Why keep him waiting? Let him in right away.

- Yes, Colonel.

General Ronsky, please!

My dear Colonel, let me shake your hand.

Let me shake both your hands.

I'm General Ronsky.

You've probably never heard of me.

Never heard of General Ronsky?

Mikhail Nicolai Vladimirovich Ronsky?

- Has the Chancellor been talking to you?

- No, not recently.

But if he should talk to you,

and no doubt he will, make sure he...

Now, don't misunderstand me.

I love him, and wish more people would,

but as one military man to another,

he's a civilian.

What's even worse, he's a dreamer.

And what Russia needs right now

is a practical man. Someone like you.

Oh, but, General,

just because I'm a good horseman...

You're just like your father.

Always belittling yourself.

How is your father? How is the old fellow?

- My father died...

- He did? When did it happen?

- Ten years ago.

- Incredible.

Ten years ago?

Now I know why he never answered

my last letter. Your father and I were...

Her Majesty wants to see you in her study,

Colonel.

- Hello, Anna.

- Hello, Alexei.

- Are you waiting to see Her Majesty too?

- Yes, Colonel.

Oh, by the way, the last time I congratulated you,

you'd just become a captain.

Then they told me you were a major.

For a moment.

Then you were a lieutenant colonel...

Oh, no, no, you jumped that.

Now you're Commander of the Palace Guards.

- Congratulations, Colonel.

- I don't blame you for being angry.

- I know I should have seen you before, but I...

- Please, don't apologise.

I know how busy you are.

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