A Shot in the Dark Page #2

You...

you fool!

Just for that you are... you're off the case.

Back to town.

- When can l have the report?

- First thing in the morning.

- Excuse me. M Ballon?

- Yes.

- I'm Commissioner Dreyfus.

- Ah. Where's lnspector Clouseau?

I'm taking charge of this investigation.

You and Mme Ballon

will not be inconvenienced

and the Ballon name will not suffer

the sensationalism of the press.

He was a strange fellow,

but l rather liked him.

- Huh?

- I mean Clouseau.

Oh. Yes, yes.

He's a... he's an extraordinary man.

(creak)

Argh!

- Argh!

- (phone rings)

Inspector Clouseau's residence.

One moment, please.

Commissioner Dreyfus.

(breathes heavily)

- Hello, lnspector Clouseau here.

- Get down here immediately.

- You're back on the Gambrelli case.

- The Gambrelli case?

Maria Gambrelli.

The maid who killed the chauffeur.

Oh, Maria Gambrelli, the maid. Yes, yes.

Excellent. I'll be down there

right away. Thank you.

Well, Kato, l am back on the case.

I tell you, Maria Gambrelli is beautiful.

Innocent. Hah!

That was a good work-out.

You're improving.

Every day you're getting better.

(mutters)

Facts, Hercule, facts.

Nothing matters but the facts.

Without them, the science

of criminal investigation

is nothing more than a guessing game.

Listen to me, Hercule,

and you will learn something.

The facts in this case are...

the body of the chauffeur was found

in the bedroom of the second maid. Fact.

Cause of death - four bullets

in the chest. Fact.

The bullets were fired at close range

from a .25 calibre Beretta automatic. Fact.

Maria Gambrelli was discovered

with the murder weapon in her hand. Fact.

The murder weapon was registered in

the name of the deceased, Miguel Ostos,

and was kept, mark you, in the glove

compartment of the Ballon Rolls-Royce.

Fact.

Members of the household staff

have testified that Miguel Ostos beat...

Careful, you fool. You broke my pointing

stick. I've got nothing to point with now.

..have testified that Miguel Ostos

beat Maria Gambrelli frequently.

Finally comes the sworn statement

of M and Mme Ballon,

as well as all the members of the staff,

each of them with perfect alibis.

Now then, Hercule,

what is the inescapable conclusion?

- Maria Gambrelli killed the chauffeur.

- What? You idiot.

- Impossible. She's protecting someone.

- How do you know?

- Instinct.

- But the facts...

- You are forgetting the motive.

- He beat her.

- He was Spanish.

- He tore her dress off.

Don't be ridiculous. Would you kill

somebody who tore yourdress off?

- No, l suppose not.

- No, of course not.

No, no. There is no doubt

in my mind whatsoever, Hercule.

Maria Gambrelli is most definitely

protecting somebody.

Find them

and you have found the murderer

and l shall find the murderer

before the day is out.

Maria Gambrelli will tell me

who he is. Oh, yes.

- What was that you said?

- uh, nothing.

I see. All right.

Well, you can go, Hercule.

Argh!

I don't understand.

Why in the name of heaven did you

reassign Clouseau to the Gambrelli case?

That is a good question,

and it deserves an answer.

But what l'm about to tell you

must remain in the strictest confidence.

This morning, at six o'clock,

l received a phone call from a superior.

I was informed that certain extremely

influential parties were interested

in having Clouseau back on the case.

- I had no choice but to comply.

- Amazing.

If l told you the identity of the caller

you'd realise how amazing it really is.

But why?

That's another good question,

and for that l have no answer.

Ah. They're bringing in

the Gambrelli woman.

Sit down, Miss Gambrelli.

Sit down, Miss Gambrelli.

Now, where were...

Good morning, monsieur.

- Oh. Good morning, Miss Gambrelli.

- Good morning.

- You slept well?

- No.

- Wonderful.

- It is not easy to sleep in prison.

It isn't? No, no, no, of course it isn't. No.

We shall have to do something

about that, won't we?

uh...

Stupid box. Yes.

But, anyway, first, a few simple questions.

- Is it all right if l smoke?

- Oh, yes, of course.

- Have one of mine.

- Thank you.

- Ah.

- Well, have one of mine.

Mm? Oh, thank you.

That's very kind of you.

Very, very kind of you.

- That's all right.

- Allow me.

- Thank you. Other way around.

- Hm? What? Oh.

It tastes very bad when you do that.

Well, now...

Are you comfortable?

- They should have these chairs in prison.

- Most certainly.

- As l recall, the furniture is deplorable.

- Terrible. Might as well sit on the floor.

Yes, it's high time that somebody

did something about it, don't you think?

Sure.

As a matter of fact, l will do

something about it this very moment.

- Give me the prison superintendent.

- (man) Yes, sir.

Sometimes it's necessary to cut through

red tape and strike directly at the heart.

Prison is bad enough

without uncomfortable furniture.

(phone rings)

Yes?

Superintendent,

this is lnspector Clouseau.

When are you going to do something

about that terrible furniture?

We are not savages.

This is not the Middle Ages.

I mean, you are running a house

of correction, not a torture chamber.

That made him think. I suggest you take

the matter under serious consideration.

If one is to cope with a modern criminal,

it is necessary to use modern methods.

You can't have a contemporary prison

without, uh, contemporary furniture.

Yes. Well, that's my opinion anyway.

Oh. And the same to you, Superintendent.

Filthy swine.

You're not at all like a policeman.

Your dossier.

I always keep my important documents

under lock and key

because one can never be too sure.

Now, here...

Oh.

Oh, uh...

Excuse me.

Stupid.

Oh.

Now, um...

Miss Gambrelli, your dossier contains

some very, very interesting facts.

It seems that you have known

this Miguel Ostos for quite some time.

Yes.

- And were you in love with him?

- Yes.

You're in love

with the man that raped you?

That what?

Testimony of Georges Duval, gardener.

Referring to Ostos, you described him,

and l quote, as "that crazy Spaniard

who raped me in my father's field".

He did not rape me.

- He did not force you?

- Well, you see, l tripped over a root,

and l grabbed Miguel to keep me

from falling, and somehow we both fell.

I cried a little bit afterwards but that

wasn't because l was sorry it happened.

- It was something he said.

- He insulted you.

Oh, no. He lit a cigarette

and took a long puff, and...

Tell me, why do so many men

smoke afterwards?

No wonder tobacco companies get rich.

Yes, l must admit l had never

thought of it quite that way.

Hm. Last night, it was to be our last night.

It was all finished.

- You were leaving him?

- Oh, no. He was leaving me.

Poor Miguel. He was really in one

of his moods last night.

First he babbled in Spanish,

and then he cried.

He really broke down and cried.

- You don't say.

- I do say.

And then when l tried to console him,

make him feel better,

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes