A Very Murray Christmas Page #2

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- Okay, Bill...

- You know...

- We're with you...

You know, you and I...

we're not in the same business.

Okay, there he goes. He's going.

Bill, I don't want to pressure you,

but one minute until air.

Five cameras. I like our chances

of someone getting it right.

60 seconds! He's going up.

Let's get ready. Are you ready, Paul?

- Ready!

- Alright.

- What are we doing?

- Let's jingle those bells, buddy.

We're going live

in five seconds, everyone.

Is there a microphone

or do we imagine that, too?

- Use your stage voice.

- Yeah.

You're on stage.

There we go. Look.

- We've got one sound guy.

- Swing the camera. The other way.

You people are disgusting.

- You're looking great up there.

- Crushing it.

We're going live on air. Stand by.

Everyone set? We're live on TV in...

eight, seven, six, five, four, three...

Make it great. Two... Go, Bill!

Dashing through the snow

In a one horse open sleigh

Over fields we go

Laughing all the way

Ha, ha, ha!

This is a nightmare.

I can't do this. I'm sorry, Ivan.

- I can't do this.

- Cut the tape!

I'm sorry. I'm supposed to be laughing.

I want to weep, okay?

Go to commercial.

I am weeping. I am weeping.

I've never wept on a stage.

This is a first.

I just can't do this. I'm sorry.

We've got to... I don't know.

Show an old football game or something.

I just can't do this.

Total disaster.

I've got to run. I've got to hide.

Oh, it's freezing out there.

Oh, God...

Oh, it's cold!

I should have quit right then and there.

I should have stopped

right then and there.

I'd give anything for a guest.

Any kind of medium, half-talented fool.

Whoa! Wait a minute.

- Bill Murray!

- Chris Rock!

Chris! Chris!

Bill, what are you doing here

in the biggest blizzard in the world, man?

- Don't leave. Don't leave.

- I'm not...

Don't leave. Stay, Chris. Stay.

Go around. You can't go that way.

- Counter-clockwise. Counter-clockwise.

- Counter-clockwise!

The other way.

- Counter-clockwise. You are such a pro!

- It's a pleasure.

Counter-clockwise. Chris!

What's up, man?

How did you get uptown?

- Subway.

- They shut down the subway.

They are. They are.

I had to walk on the rails, man.

- Sit down with me, buddy.

- I'm sitting down, man.

What's going on?

What's all this stuff?

Well, I'm supposed to be doing

a live TV show.

- Okay.

- Live Christmas special.

- Are you in it?

- It just started.

- I'm the only one.

- Oh, man.

You're doing a live special in the middle

of the biggest blizzard of the year.

That is so you, Bill. That is so you.

- But now you're here.

- Yeah.

- And it's us.

- No!

- Yeah!

- No!

- Dust off the pipes a little bit. Sing a...

- I don't sing, Bill.

- You sing. You're a rapper.

- I don't rap.

Do you know me?

Some...

You can do it, Chris.

You've got to help me.

You can be the guy that saved Christmas.

I don't want to...

I can save your Christmas.

But what about mine? I've got

to get out of here. I've got stuff to do.

I've got to get home and build stuff.

I've got to build

a Malibu Barbie Beach House.

- You can't leave. You're trapped here.

- Bill.

- No way you get out of here.

- Bill.

Now, look. All you've got to do

is come in, sing a couple of songs.

Dance a little bit, you know.

We'll put you in some cool clothes.

And I swear on my life I will get you

on the first snowmobile in the morning.

Bill, I barely know you, okay?

- I just met you...

- This is our chance!

- Where's your boys?

- Let's hang! We've got to hang!

Where's George Clooney?

Matt Damon or John Goodman? Your boys!

Why am I here?

Maybe you should postpone this.

Do it a little later.

Is there any way?

No.

I've got to go, Bill.

There is no f***ing way

I am doing a live television special.

No way.

I think I'm hearing you.

Look who's here, everybody!

Said the night wind to the little lamb

- Do you see what I see?

- Do you see what I see?

Way up in the sky, little lamb

- Do you see what I see?

- Do you see what I see?

A star, a star, dancing in the night

With a tail as big as a kite

With a tail as big as a kite

Said the little lamb

To the shepherd boy

Shepherd boy

- Do you hear what I hear?

- Do you hear what I hear?

Ringing through the sky, shepherd boy

Shepherd boy

- Do you hear what I hear?

- Do you hear what I hear?

A song, a song, high above the trees

With a voice as big as the sea

With a voice as big as the sea

Said the shepherd boy

To the mighty king

Mighty king

- Do you know what I know?

- Do you know what I know?

In your palace warm, mighty king

Mighty king

- Do you know what I know?

- Do you know what I know?

A child, a child shivers in the cold

Let us bring Him silver and gold

Let us bring Him silver and gold

Together.

Said the king to the people everywhere

Listen to what I say

Listen to what I say

- Pray for peace, people everywhere!

- Everywhere!

Listen to what I say

Listen to what I say...

Hold it. Wait a second.

Is that us?

- Chris?

- Who cut the power?

- Are we still...

- Go to tape.

Chris?

With a voice as big as the sea

Chris?

Rocky?

Don't try to step off of this.

Where's Chris?

He's gone. And so are we.

Oh, my God.

It's out on the entire Eastern seaboard.

Pack it up, kids. We're out of here.

Amazing. This is good news. Force majeure.

Your contract was voided.

You know what this means?

You're off the hook.

Insurance will cover all of this.

Yeah. It's been a living hell.

See you on the next one, Bill.

Not if there's a God above.

Well, thank you...

Thank you, everyone.

Have a merry Christmas.

Okay.

- Bill.

- Paul.

- Yeah?

- Where are we going?

- You haven't quit drinking yet, have you?

- Should I?

Good man.

Chris and I sounded pretty good there

for a minute or two.

I was moved.

Well, I thought it was beautiful.

Ah, thank you.

The heat's off in here, fellas.

This will help keep you warm.

Well, you, or this, is the nicest thing

that's happened to me all day. To you...

It's Christmas Eve.

It's my favorite night of the year.

The power is out.

The storm is raging outside.

We're in here all cozy.

For now.

For now.

Have another sip. Warm up, hon.

'Cause, baby, it's cold outside.

Can't you stick around?

I really can't stay

Baby, it's cold outside

I've got to go away

I'm not kidding. It's really cold out.

This evening has been so very nice

Been hoping that you'd drop in

My mother will start to worry

Your hands are like ice.

Let me do this to you.

And father will be pacing the floor

Listen to that fireplace roar

So really I'd better scurry

You're too darn pretty to worry

Well, maybe just a half a drink more

Okay, you flip the records while I pour.

The neighbors might think...

Baby, it's really bad out there.

Ooh, what's in this drink?

You couldn't get a cab

if your life depended on it.

I wish I knew how

To break this spell

This is so corny, but your eyes

look like starlight right now.

I ought to say no, no, no, sir

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