Abbott and Costello in Hollywood

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Hollywood Shop, barbers to the stars.

Oh, yes, Mr. Gable.

Shave and a manicure?|Just one moment, please.

Jack and Harriet could take you|this afternoon at 5.

Yes, Mr. Gable.

Mr. Gable. Bye.

Hollywood Shop, barbers to the stars.

Oh, Mr. Kavanaugh.|Shave and a manicure?

Here or at the studio?

All right, we'll send Bert and Evelyn.

Oh, Mr. Kavanaugh, I saw|the last picture you directed and...

Well, goodbye.

"We'll send Bert and Evelyn."|What's the matter with Louise?

Ruthie, you know I've been wanting|to do Mr. Kavanaugh for a long time.

Look, dream girl, just because he signed|Claire Warren to a contract...

...doesn't mean he'll sign|every cuticle carver in Hollywood.

He likes the way Evelyn does them,|so Evelyn goes. Period.

Don't you start putting it on for me.|Your roommate signed the contract, not you.

- Listen, I wouldn't try to be so...|- Girls! Girls! Break it up.

Now, my shop is for haircutting,|not for hair pulling.

I'm going to lunch.|By the way, where are those two fatheads?

- Studying. Barber college.|- Where?

In the supply room. I'll get them.

Now, just take it slow and easy,|and don't get excited.

Now, the most important thing is to get|the lather off the customer's face...

...without cutting him.

- I know.|- Go ahead. That's very simple to do.

- Now, try it out.|- Oh, I hope I do it good this time.

There's no reason why you shouldn't.

Take your time. Are you nervous?|That's...

I don't know.

I'm making such a unsuccessful attempt|at this all the time. I don't understand.

- I mean... Where did he go?|- Well, what do you...? Just a minute.

Don't get excited.|What do you expect?

You're buying my course|on how to become a barber, right?

- But I could have done better.|- You've only been here three years.

When I wanted to go to barber school,|you didn't have to stop me from going.

The only thing I wanted from you|was to go to barber school.

What can they teach you in school|that I can't teach you here?

- At least I'd have got my fraternity pin.|- Watch me closely this time.

Now, here. Here's what I want you to do.|Now, just watch. There it is.

- Now...|- He's squawking.

- Now, wait a minute. Stop that.|- Stop squawking.

Please, you're doing enough damage.

Of course, you're going into|a new semester, you know.

- A new what?|- A new semester. That'll be $5 in advance.

Five dollars? Buzz, look.|That's all I got, is $5.

- That'll be fi...|- No!

- Now, please.|- I got a date tonight with Ruthie.

No wonder your nerves are shot. Look at|your hands, just look at your hands.

- Look at how nervous you are.|- Cut it out.

- You're shaking my hand.|- Am I doing that?

- Am I touching you? No, certainly not.|- I'm nervous.

It's your nerves. Give me the $5. There.

- Watch me closely this time.|- Hurry up, I wanna graduate.

Now, first of all, we lather it up.|Notice it?

- Yeah.|- Now we take the razor.

- That's the razor. You know that.|- Yeah.

Yes. Now we take the razor.

Quiet, quiet, quiet.|Now, just watch me closely.

- Are you watching?|- Yeah, I was watching very close.

That's what I want you to do.

Look how simple it is, look.|See that? There you are.

- Any way you want, just tear it off.|- All right.

- Yeah, that's good. That's good.|- Simple enough.

- That's very good.|- That's up to you now.

Put some lather on there.|I'll show you fancy stuff.

There's your razor. Go ahead.

- There you are. Go right ahead.|- All right, it's my turn, right?

- All right.|- Now it's yours.

- What are you doing?|- Get my diploma ready. I'm gonna graduate.

- Just a minute, please. Are you...?|- Nothing happened, huh?

I'll put more on|and show you some more stuff.

- Are you handling that razor right?|- Yeah, sure. I'm handling it good.

Boy, I had a lot of trouble|with your brothers...

...but not with you.

- Ruthie, I gotta break the date.|- What date?

- Don't you remember? June 22nd?|- June 22nd.

I don't remember anything about a date.

Oh, yes. Don't you remember? I said|I was gonna take you to the Palladium...

...and you said, "See me next year."|Well, tonight, the year is up.

Abercrombie, you're so impulsive.|But why do you have to break the date?

Well, because the $5 I was gonna use|to take you and I out tonight...

...I gave to Buzz for my tuition.

Are you still falling for Buzz's racket?

Oh, no. He guaranteed to make me|one of the biggest barbers in town.

- He gave me a lovely report card last week.|- Report card?

Oh, he just wants your money.

No. He said that he would make me|the biggest barber in town. You know what?

I'm gonna have chair number one...|This chair right over here.

- And I'm gonna shave|the toughest beards in town.

And then you're gonna be|very proud of me.

Abercrombie, you're just being taken.

Look, the boss is out. You make Buzz|let you shave the next customer.

Okay.

I wanna shave the next customer.|I wanna show Ruthie how good I am.

Don't be a sucker.|I'm saving you for the big time.

Let me shave the next customer,|or I quit school right now.

All right. I don't wanna see|all that good study go to waste.

Wait. Give me this. Take this.|I shave the next customer.

- I'll show Ruthie how good...|- All right. Take it easy.

My first customer.

- Daniel Boone, how's all your little baboons?|- They're fi...

Hello, Mr. Ragland. This is Rags Ragland.|I hardly recognized you.

Finished one of those backwoods pictures.|I'll be glad to get this sagebrush off.

- Oh, I think it looks kind of cute.|- I think you look kind of cute too.

I think you're cute too.|My first customer.

I'm tired. I've been out in the woods|working for four weeks.

- Relax. Take it easy.|- Get a shave and some hot towels.

That's a nice head of hair|you have there.

Lovely head of hair.|It's a little long in spots though.

Look at that. See, I cut some off.

What's the matter?|Hey, you must have been working too hard.

Your hair's gray on both sides.|I ought to...

- That's a hat!|- A hat.

Give me a shave and some hot towels.

- I wanna relax. Very tired.|- Tired?

- Lay down and relax.|- Yes.

Lay... No, relax. Will you...? Will you...?

- What's wrong with you?|- I don't think I could get it out of high.

- Well, put it in first and let it stay there!|- Well, I ain't got no license.

- How long you been driving?|- Nine years.

- Look.|- What's the matter?

Will you give me a shave|and some hot towels? Get to it, will you!

Stay right there.

- What's the matter?|- This belongs in the front.

- Oh, you're gonna eat?|- No, I want...

- I don't wanna get the stuff all over me!|- Okay.

Take it easy. Where are you?

Stay... Stay up... Where...? Will you...?

Come here. Get up. Get up.

Get up, come on. Now, take it easy.|Take it easy.

Take it easy, now. Take it easy.|You're working too hard.

Don't take off too much|on the top, please.

- Will you get out of that chair!|- All right.

- Now, give me a shave!|- Well, get in.

I got you. Just take it easy. Take it easy.

Attaboy.

Looks like a tough beard.

Look.

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