Abbott and Costello in Hollywood
- Year:
- 1945
- 73 Views
Hollywood Shop, barbers to the stars.
Oh, yes, Mr. Gable.
Shave and a manicure?|Just one moment, please.
Jack and Harriet could take you|this afternoon at 5.
Yes, Mr. Gable.
Mr. Gable. Bye.
Hollywood Shop, barbers to the stars.
Oh, Mr. Kavanaugh.|Shave and a manicure?
Here or at the studio?
All right, we'll send Bert and Evelyn.
Oh, Mr. Kavanaugh, I saw|the last picture you directed and...
Well, goodbye.
"We'll send Bert and Evelyn."|What's the matter with Louise?
Ruthie, you know I've been wanting|to do Mr. Kavanaugh for a long time.
Look, dream girl, just because he signed|Claire Warren to a contract...
...doesn't mean he'll sign|every cuticle carver in Hollywood.
He likes the way Evelyn does them,|so Evelyn goes. Period.
Don't you start putting it on for me.|Your roommate signed the contract, not you.
- Listen, I wouldn't try to be so...|- Girls! Girls! Break it up.
Now, my shop is for haircutting,|not for hair pulling.
I'm going to lunch.|By the way, where are those two fatheads?
- Studying. Barber college.|- Where?
In the supply room. I'll get them.
Now, just take it slow and easy,|and don't get excited.
Now, the most important thing is to get|the lather off the customer's face...
...without cutting him.
- I know.|- Go ahead. That's very simple to do.
- Now, try it out.|- Oh, I hope I do it good this time.
There's no reason why you shouldn't.
Take your time. Are you nervous?|That's...
I don't know.
I'm making such a unsuccessful attempt|at this all the time. I don't understand.
- I mean... Where did he go?|- Well, what do you...? Just a minute.
Don't get excited.|What do you expect?
You're buying my course|on how to become a barber, right?
- But I could have done better.|- You've only been here three years.
When I wanted to go to barber school,|you didn't have to stop me from going.
The only thing I wanted from you|was to go to barber school.
What can they teach you in school|that I can't teach you here?
- At least I'd have got my fraternity pin.|- Watch me closely this time.
Now, here. Here's what I want you to do.|Now, just watch. There it is.
- Now...|- He's squawking.
- Now, wait a minute. Stop that.|- Stop squawking.
Please, you're doing enough damage.
Of course, you're going into|a new semester, you know.
- A new what?|- A new semester. That'll be $5 in advance.
Five dollars? Buzz, look.|That's all I got, is $5.
- That'll be fi...|- No!
- Now, please.|- I got a date tonight with Ruthie.
No wonder your nerves are shot. Look at|your hands, just look at your hands.
- Look at how nervous you are.|- Cut it out.
- You're shaking my hand.|- Am I doing that?
- Am I touching you? No, certainly not.|- I'm nervous.
It's your nerves. Give me the $5. There.
- Watch me closely this time.|- Hurry up, I wanna graduate.
Now, first of all, we lather it up.|Notice it?
- Yeah.|- Now we take the razor.
- That's the razor. You know that.|- Yeah.
Yes. Now we take the razor.
Quiet, quiet, quiet.|Now, just watch me closely.
- Are you watching?|- Yeah, I was watching very close.
That's what I want you to do.
Look how simple it is, look.|See that? There you are.
- Any way you want, just tear it off.|- All right.
- Yeah, that's good. That's good.|- Simple enough.
- That's very good.|- That's up to you now.
Put some lather on there.|I'll show you fancy stuff.
There's your razor. Go ahead.
- There you are. Go right ahead.|- All right, it's my turn, right?
- All right.|- Now it's yours.
- What are you doing?|- Get my diploma ready. I'm gonna graduate.
- Just a minute, please. Are you...?|- Nothing happened, huh?
I'll put more on|and show you some more stuff.
- Are you handling that razor right?|- Yeah, sure. I'm handling it good.
Boy, I had a lot of trouble|with your brothers...
...but not with you.
- Ruthie, I gotta break the date.|- What date?
- Don't you remember? June 22nd?|- June 22nd.
I don't remember anything about a date.
Oh, yes. Don't you remember? I said|I was gonna take you to the Palladium...
...and you said, "See me next year."|Well, tonight, the year is up.
Abercrombie, you're so impulsive.|But why do you have to break the date?
Well, because the $5 I was gonna use|to take you and I out tonight...
...I gave to Buzz for my tuition.
Are you still falling for Buzz's racket?
Oh, no. He guaranteed to make me|one of the biggest barbers in town.
- He gave me a lovely report card last week.|- Report card?
Oh, he just wants your money.
No. He said that he would make me|the biggest barber in town. You know what?
I'm gonna have chair number one...|This chair right over here.
- And I'm gonna shave|the toughest beards in town.
And then you're gonna be|very proud of me.
Abercrombie, you're just being taken.
Look, the boss is out. You make Buzz|let you shave the next customer.
Okay.
I wanna shave the next customer.|I wanna show Ruthie how good I am.
Don't be a sucker.|I'm saving you for the big time.
Let me shave the next customer,|or I quit school right now.
All right. I don't wanna see|all that good study go to waste.
Wait. Give me this. Take this.|I shave the next customer.
- I'll show Ruthie how good...|- All right. Take it easy.
My first customer.
- Daniel Boone, how's all your little baboons?|- They're fi...
Hello, Mr. Ragland. This is Rags Ragland.|I hardly recognized you.
Finished one of those backwoods pictures.|I'll be glad to get this sagebrush off.
- Oh, I think it looks kind of cute.|- I think you look kind of cute too.
I think you're cute too.|My first customer.
I'm tired. I've been out in the woods|working for four weeks.
- Relax. Take it easy.|- Get a shave and some hot towels.
That's a nice head of hair|you have there.
Lovely head of hair.|It's a little long in spots though.
Look at that. See, I cut some off.
What's the matter?|Hey, you must have been working too hard.
Your hair's gray on both sides.|I ought to...
- That's a hat!|- A hat.
Give me a shave and some hot towels.
- I wanna relax. Very tired.|- Tired?
- Lay down and relax.|- Yes.
Lay... No, relax. Will you...? Will you...?
- What's wrong with you?|- I don't think I could get it out of high.
- Well, put it in first and let it stay there!|- Well, I ain't got no license.
- How long you been driving?|- Nine years.
- Look.|- What's the matter?
Will you give me a shave|and some hot towels? Get to it, will you!
Stay right there.
- What's the matter?|- This belongs in the front.
- Oh, you're gonna eat?|- No, I want...
- I don't wanna get the stuff all over me!|- Okay.
Take it easy. Where are you?
Stay... Stay up... Where...? Will you...?
Come here. Get up. Get up.
Get up, come on. Now, take it easy.|Take it easy.
Take it easy, now. Take it easy.|You're working too hard.
Don't take off too much|on the top, please.
- Will you get out of that chair!|- All right.
- Now, give me a shave!|- Well, get in.
I got you. Just take it easy. Take it easy.
Attaboy.
Looks like a tough beard.
Look.
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"Abbott and Costello in Hollywood" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 22 Dec. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/abbott_and_costello_in_hollywood_2130>.
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