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Abbott and Costello Meet the Invisible Man Page #4
- Year:
- 1951
- 190 Views
The quicker you meet Morgan,
the quicker we'll get action...
and I crave action.!
Who is it? Detective Roberts.
You craved action, you're
gonna get it. Get out of here!
Just a minute,
Detective Roberts.
You stand there.
He won't be able to see you.
On your knees.
On your knees!
Atta boy.
What can we do for you?
Nothing, nothing at all.
on what you've seen today.
disappear into thin air?
This guy needs a pie-chiatrist.
What I need is information,
and I want it quick!
I trailed
Nelson's girl here.
I know she didn't come to
see you. Where's Nelson?
You can believe me.
I have not seen him since last
night. That goes for me, too.
You haven't seen him,
huh?
Okay, Nelson,
get your hands up!
What...
What's this?
My laundry. I'm sending
it out. Your laundry!
that nice man with the watch.
A-tick-a-tock.
Tommy... Tommy!
The glass
belongs here.
Tommy, it's not polite to make
noise when you eat. But I'm starved!
I'll have the lamb chop luncheon. Yes, sir.
I know what I want. Spaghetti. And a steak.
What do
you want?
Spaghetti.
And a steak.
You said you knew
what you wanted.
Do you want
spaghetti or steak?
I'll have a spaghetti...
and a steak. Yes, sir.
I used to be a juggler.
Many, many times...
You care for
anything else, sir?
Yeah, yes. You can get me
that swell-lookin' dish.
Waiter,
bring two dishes.
I want
to go halffies.
That's Boots Marsden. I had
a hunch she was with Morgan.
But he doesn't even
look like a fighter.
He's fat and short. So, he won't have
so far to fall when he takes a dive.
Start workin', baby.
Hey, she's
coming this way.
I must have
caught her eye.
May I join you? Sure, sure.
Sit here,
Miss Marsden.
Move over.
Move over.
I hope you don't get
the wrong impression of me...
but I have two good reasons
for wanting to meet you.
The first one is,
when I read what...
Louie the Looper
did to Rocky Hanlon...
I said to myself,
"There's a man!"
That's the first time
anybody ever said that about me.
And the
second reason?
I'm a woman. That's even
better than the first one.
- No, thank you.
Not here.
I like privacy.
There's nothing like wearing
something comfortable...
and turning
the lights down low...
and having a nice cool drink
with a nice warm person.
Yeah, but my place at the
Carlton Towers is overcrowded.
The Carlton Towers?
Now, isn't that...
a coincidence
or fate or something?
I live at the Towers, too.
Hey, I live there, too.
I hope you
like your room.
I'll be home
all evening.
Boots, Boots, Boots.
Ah, shut up.
Morgan's made his first move.
Tonight he'll make his second.
Or I should say, she will.
Boots, spaghetti.
What a combination.
What are you
stuffing in your mouth?
No.
Bud.
What's the matter?
I don't want to do this. Now, listen.
All we're trying to do is
prove that Tommy was framed.
You see this recording machine.
All you have to do is start it.
Then we'll get
a record of what she says.
And then you'll get
a record of what I say.
No, come here. All you
have to do is lead her on.
Come in.
- Good evening.
- Good night.
What did you say
good night for?
I think she's getting
ready to go to bed. So!
Come in, Louie.
Aw...
You shouldn't
have done that.
I know, I'm just
a little squirt.
Flowers? For me? Yes, ma'am.
How thoughtful. Put them
over there on the table.
Mm-mm.
I just love flowers.
They're like true friends.
They see so much and
hear so much...
and yet they never talk.
It sure would surprise people,
if they did.
Don't move.
Stand where you are.
I'm caught.
I didn't mean anything.
Don't talk.
That light on your profile...
it shows your iron will,
your rugged individuality...
your indomitable courage.
Oh, darling.
I always want to see you...
the way you are now.
It's your looks
I'm worried about.
Oh, not that you
can't beat Rocky...
could ruin that profile.
And then I'd
lose all interest.
You mean, you wouldn't
like me if I wasn't pretty.
Of course, I mean it.
When it's so unnecessary.
There's more money to be made
losing a fight than winning one.
All you have to do is
agree to get knocked out.
You can even name the round.
First round?
Mm-mm.
Second round?
Mm-mm.
Third round?
How many
rounds can you last?
Suppose you agree to
three rounds.
Then some nice friend will
deposit a lot of money for you.
How am I gonna know the nice man
that's gonna put the money in.
Maybe I can
arrange a meeting.
I'll phone, but remember...
all of this is off the record.
Louie.!
Everything's set.
We're to go to the Bubble Room.
Oh, Louie.
You won't regret this.
Oh, Boots.
What was that noise? That's off the record.
Tommy, please listen.
He must be made to realize the
danger of his mental condition.
Tommy, the doctor is afraid.
Afraid?
Afraid of what?
That he'll never find
the reagent?
That I'll never
be visible again?
Well, tell
him not to worry.
I feel I feel
much better this way.
No one can touch me,
not even the cops.
That makes me a nemesis.
It makes me a dictator.
Tommy, please, Tommy.
Take it easy.
Hello, he's all right, Helen.
I'll take care of him.
He's just a little drunkey.
Sure, sure, I'm drunk.
Drunk with the power
of invisibility.
I am the ruler of
an invisible empire.
My loyal subjects I will reward.
My enemies I will destroy.
To be or not to be.
Alas, poor Yorick.
A horse, a horse,
my kingdom for a horse.
Put that down.
Pour us a drink.
You heard me.
Pour a drink.
Look, what's
the matter with this one?
That one?
Yes, that one.
I'm a two-fisted drinker.
Put it in there.
Well, well, Boots Marsden
and Louie the Looper.
Let's have a picture, huh?
Help yourselves. Take a couple.
Champ, how about a picture
of you drinking champagne...
out ofher slipper?
Why not?
We'll call the picture,
uh, "Puss in the Boots. "
Oh, Louie,
what a sense of humor.
Yeah.
Ready, folks?
Thanks.
Ohhh!
Trying to be smart?
Don't fool with a buzz saw.
This is Louie the Looper.
Oh, okay, Louie.
I'm sorry I spilled the champagne
on you. Oh, that's nothing.
Thank you. Compared to the blood
that Rocky's gonna spill over you.
If you wasn't here,
I'd sock him.
That's all right. I'm
leaving now. I'll go with you.
You stay here. I just made
contact with the money man.
Bud, I done everything you told
me to do. Well, that's swell.
Get off of me.
I'm sorry, Tommy.
Did you get the record? I did. And
very fast, too. I broke a record.
When I hired you I thought
I was getting good detectives.
We may not be
good detectives...
but we're very,
very good friends.
Friends!
Excuse me.
Did it ever occur to you that
friendship is, at its best...
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"Abbott and Costello Meet the Invisible Man" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 29 Aug. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/abbott_and_costello_meet_the_invisible_man_2134>.
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