Abel Page #2

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I get new clothes.

What use are they to me?

You stop buying new clothes.

We down the meals. Within a month,

we'll have a television.

THE NAKED GIRLS:

No hors-d'oeuvre?

- Didn't get round to it today.

De Beer has been sacked.

- De Beer?

How often have I mentioned that name?

It must be a thousand times.

I don't know de Beer.

- A colleague.

What's this?

- A fish finger.

A fish finger?

What kind of a hideous little

fish finger is this?

Tell us about de Beer.

- Yes.

He's been sacked.

- Because?

Because he was carrying on with

Merkelbach's wife.

Merkelbach?

Yes, Merkelbach. Who could be that?

- No idea.

Come now, Abel.

Your father's boss.

I say, what's going on?

Only one vegetable?

The people behind the Iron Curtain...

...would lick their lips at the

sight of a fish finger.

And those people work the

whole day long.

They go into the steelfactory

before it's light...

...and don't come out

until it's dark again.

If you ever see a photograph

of Russians...

...in a park, then they

all have little eyes.

Enough!

What do you think of that then?

Of what?

- A secret affair like that?

Well, as long as it's a secret affair,

I've nothing against it.

How old is she?

- Who?

Merkelbach's wife.

- Thirty eight or so.

Still fertile as well.

I don't understand de Beer.

If you wanted to have a

secret affair...

...then you'd choose someone

infertile wouldn't you?

What if she got pregnant?

It could just as well be

Merkelbach's child.

With a face like de Beer?

What kind of a face has he

got then?

A bit ruddy,

with eyes like a cod-fish.

Where do you get that idea?

De Beer is palid,

with piggy little eyes.

Who's got the ruddy face

and the cod-eyes then?

That's Prokovsky, isn't it?

- Oh, you know him then?

Yes, you've mentioned him before.

Prokovsky, didn't he have asthma?

Yes, he's been in a sanatorium

for three years.

It must be great in a sanatorium...

...lying in bed all day, television,

people looking after you...

What is it?

What's for afters?

What's going on?

No hors-d'oeuvre, one fish finger,

one vegetable, no afters.

I'm not a bloody proletarian!

So, this is Abel then.

You don't want to go outside?

Are you frightened of me?

Good. Then we've already

got somewhere.

What's this?

We shan't be needing those here.

So, come along.

Madame, didn't I ask you to remove all

the silver from the room?

I did do.

Yes but, there is silver present.

I just can't work like this.

- But, I did remove all the silver.

Honestly!

Well, I'm sorry, but I'm

not a metal detector.

Please get in touch when the room

is free of silver. Good afternoon.

Why haven't we got a television,

anyway?

It would be nice for Abel as well.

I mean, what does a boy like him see?

He sees enough, more than enough.

But always the same.

On the television you see completely

different things.

Programmes about termites

for instance.

Relevant to him, termites.

God, they broadcast other things

as well, don't they?

A television could change

Abel's way of thinking.

There's going to be no television

in this house.

It's nearly New Year.

Goodness, already?

Where are the fireworks?

- Strange.

I know a nice game.

We have to pretend that we

don't know each other.

Yes! Hello, sir.

I don't know you.

I don't know you either.

- My name's Abel.

What a coincidence, so's mine.

That's impossible, you're Victor.

Isn't it too confusing if you're

called Abel as well?

But I think it's silly

if you're called Abel as well.

Yes, it's silly.

Why not Fred, or Harry.

Right, Harry then.

I say Harry, are you married?

- Certainly. To a very stupid woman.

I'm not stupid.

Who is that lady?

- I don't know her.

I'd like to introduce myself.

I'd rather you didn't.

I'd rather she didn't either.

- I'm playing as well, you know.

Hey, Dove. It's only a game, isn't it?

- Yes, between the three of us!

You're playing too, aren't you?

Not if I can introduce myself.

But that's the game.

You've got to butt in.

I say, Abel, I've got two tickets

for the horse-races.

Do you feel like coming?

Yes, I'd like that.

- Can I ask you something?

Did you hear something?

- No, I didn't hear a thing.

What's this? How can I butt in then?

I just heard it again.

I heard something as well this time.

Why are you stopping?

Victor was walking on the other side

of the street. He crossed over.

And I saw him but he didn't strike.

And suddenly he was standing

in front of me.

And he said:
"Would you like

to have a drink with me?"

I hesitated, after all

he was a stranger.

Then he did something which...

...it threw me right off guard.

- What did he do then?

He looked at me...

...a bit severely actually...

...and he raised his hand to my head.

It made me jump a bit.

He stroked a lock of hair

out of my eyes...

...like that... behind my ear.

That's the way to do it,

very gently.

Abel doesn't even know what

a negro is, just to name one thing.

Everyone knows what a negro is.

Even so, a television wouldn't

do him any harm.

Television is a load of nonsense.

Strange men and women

laughing at you.

They can't even see you.

"So nice to have you with us again."

Ridiculous!

I'm not there...

...you're not either,

and neither is Abel.

What about a nice film?

Now, that's an even bigger

load of rubbish.

Take a cowboy film. This cowboy,

hasn't he got any parents...

...whom he visits from

time to time?

Or have those parents died?

Is this cowboy a foundling?

Has he got brothers and sisters?

Has he had an education?

Not a word about that, no.

If you're on stage you don't

say to the audience:

"I'm so-and-so, I went

to grammar school...

...and I've got two brothers."

Of course not. But it comes up

in that piece.

I play an Earl,

who's fallen on hard times...

...and I say to the person

playing the opposite me...

Christine, yes, that I have studied.

The detective you played last year

never mentioned his education.

That was a rotten play.

First I want the kitchen painted.

You shake hands with her

and introduce yourself.

Don't squeeze! Normal.

Not like a damp sponge.

Normal, a normal handshake.

Hello, I'm Abel.

You see, there's nothing to it.

And then you say something.

- This evening, I will.

This evening, my foot! Now!

I could say anything.

It depends on her as well.

Nothing depends on her.

It depends on you.

She's unsure of herself,

you have to put her at ease.

She could be the first to say

something as well?

She won't be the first!

How do you know?

- That's how it goes.

The man speaks, and the woman

replies... now and then. And then...

I say:
"What's that smell?"

- That's not what you say.

It is, because then she'll say:

"That's my perfume."

And then I'll say: "Mmm, nice..."

Or:
"Pooh, horrible."

That depends on her perfume.

You say:
"Mmm, nice"! Understood?

Even if she smells of sweat,

or chips?

She doesn't smell of chips.

But she's working-class,

and they smell of chips.

Did you impart this gem?

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