About Alex Page #4

- There was a lot of...

- God.

So how's Brooklyn?

It's fine.

Come visit.

Sorry, sorry sorry.

You okay?

Yeah.

You'd better be fine.

I um, I saw the pictures

you posted the other day.

Yeah?

Uh, were you and Ben went

to all the thrift shops

and...

Made your place

look so home-like?

Yeah.

Yeah I did.

Now all you need is

a golden retriever.

What?

What's going on?

I got a job offer in LA.

Alright!

It's a dream kind of offer.

That's great.

So then what's the bad news?

Ben's been resisting

at every turn.

Fighting a lot about

going, fighting about

staying, just, we haven't

even made love in...

Weeks, and.

Didn't need to know that part.

I'm sorry, I...

I just think some space

would be good for us both.

Wait, wait, no, no, um...

You and Ben are

going to be fine.

Okay?

Ben's probably just

stressed out right now.

He'll figure it out.

He'll finish his book and...

What?

Ben is...

Well, for starters he's blocked.

Blocked?

Please, don't say

anything, obviously.

He hasn't written

anything in almost a year.

Ha ha, look who it is.

It's about time, you lazy bum.

Lazy?

It's not like you let

me sleep, you and Sarah.

How's Siri?

Siri...

Is on a run.

Okay.

And she's back.

Ben, can I ask you something?

Was it difficult, as a couple,

when the iPhone 4s came out?

Because I can imagine,

here you are, minding your

own business, and then everybody's

asking her a question.

You're a f***ing idiot.

Just a second!

Oh.

It's all yours.

Thank you.

Hey, um...

I'm sorry about what

I said last night.

I'm...

It's okay.

Don't worry.

You're not even 48 hours

removed from a traumatic event.

You're suddenly the center

of love and attention and you're

feeling mildly manic

and also oddly angry.

I imagine you're also

experiencing mood-cycling

and you're scared as hell

of the next time you'll

crash, so, no.

I'm not taking it personally.

Good.

Don't worry, though.

You'll level off.

What, uh...

What style of yoga is that?

What, what form is that?

I took a yoga class once.

Yeah, but it wasn't for me.

No, yeah, uh, mhmm.

I'm going to give

you some space.

You know what I miss?

I miss living down

the hall from you.

I could always pop over

whenever I wanted to talk.

You just hate sleeping

alone and you needed

somebody to talk to about Josh.

Don't be naive.

Don't be naive about what?

Isaac...

Sarah...

I always wanted

you to make a move.

That's funny.

I'm serious.

But you always,

you always said that we shouldn't

because were such good friends.

Oh, yes, that is what I

said, but that is not what

I wanted.

You're impossible,

you know that?

I'm impossible?

Yeah, you're totally impossible.

You're impossible!

Sh*t!

Sorry that...

Oh, is that butter?

No no no, don't wipe

it off, I got it.

- It's cream right there.

- Cheese.

It's cream cheese! Perfect!

Thank you.

I'm gonna go wash up babe.

Morning.

Good morning.

I've got great

Southern exposure, so I

was thinking of

installing a solar array.

And um, maybe a few

rainwater basins too.

That sounds great, Alex.

Then you'd have everything

you need to start a cult.

I'm in.

Hey, what do you think the

girls are doing right now?

I don't know, their hair?

What if we propose

an elaborate swap.

Yeah, I think you'd be thrilled.

The numbers aren't even.

Ow!

The numbers are plenty even.

I've done, look...

Alex, you get sweet nubile Kate.

Oh great.

Isaac, you get Sarah.

I get Siri, 'cause, well,

that's all that's left.

And Ben, you get published

in the new yorker.

That's hilarious.

The f*** was that?

I don't know, a dog?

Well, the boys better be

close, or they're gonna

get drenched.

You want to go on a food run?

I've just been

feeling a little sick.

I'll go.

Oh, would you?

Yeah.

Great.

Would you, uh, pick

something up for me?

Yes.

- Now?

- Yeah.

Let's go.

Cool.

Have fun!

Boy, where'd you come from?

There aren't that

many houses over here.

Hello?

Anyone lose a dog?

She looks hungry.

You want some of that?

Whoa, what are you doing, man?

You don't feed a strange dog.

Why not?

Cause you'll just confuse

it and make everything

worse.

That's bullshit.

Hey, look, as much as I

want to hang out with this

dog all day long, um, has anyone

else noticed it's pouring?

We can't just leave it here.

Owner should've put

some tags on him.

Owner should've what?

Let me see your pen.

Okay, so the dog should be

punished for its owner's sins?

Are you a republican now?

So what if I am?

So what if, what?

Ben, did he tell you about this?

Yum, grape...

Hey, will this work?

Uh, oh God no, that's not good.

So, when did you and Isaac meet?

Freshman year.

He lived down the hall from me.

I was so nervous to

come on this trip.

Really?

Isaac looks up to

you guys so much.

It's like...

Meeting his parents but

worse, because there's

five of you.

Well, be thankful you're

not meeting his parents.

His mom is crazy.

I'm so jealous of you.

Why?

Because, you guys just

have all these shared

experiences that

I'll never have.

Well, you know Isaac.

He was...

Shy and sweet.

Really sweet.

He's the only one of us

from the Midwest, so...

He's the least neurotic

of the bunch by far.

I can see that.

Yeah.

He takes me out to fancy

dinners all the time and

it's really nice, but

it's not why I like him.

Why do you like him?

Because he's grounded.

And he's so kind.

And...

The other day, we celebrated our

quarter-year anniversary.

Which is ridiculous.

It's so ridiculous.

But it made me really

happy, and I think he's

got the right priorities,

which is rare.

Everything okay.

Yeah.

Ugh! So many mushrooms.

Ooh, watermelon.

There you are.

Hey, big news.

What?

Isaac voted for bush.

That's not the news.

We found a dog.

Oh my God.

Where did you guys find it?

At the river in the woods.

I'm going to go take a shower.

Alex, hold on, would you give

me one second, I can come in.

What, what, what, what?

You're gonna come with

me and, and bathe me?

That's not what I

was going to say.

Okay, I'm f***ing fine, okay?

Okay?

Everybody, I...

Thank you for your

concern, but I am f***ing

fine, and just please,

stop following me around,

okay?

What do we do?

He said he's f***ing fine.

I'm going to check

on him in a minute.

You know, I think he is, okay?

How do you know?

I just know.

Hey.

Ha!

Sweet nectar and ambrosia.

There's more in the car.

Oh my gosh!

Who is this!

You know Josh.

He makes friends

everywhere he goes.

I missed you.

I missed you too.

Jeff Goldblum.

Done.

Jeff Goldblum!

Yeah.

The dog was in the fly?

I think it's good.

You don't name

a dog "Jeff."

Why would it be

named Jeff Goldblum?

It wouldn't be named Jeff,

it would be named Jeff Goldblum.

How do you know the dog

is Jewish, first of all?

How did you just assume?

How did you make that call?

That's the dog's name. You're

welcome.

Jeff Goldblum.

Then name the dog, please.

I think he likes the name Timmy.

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