About Alex Page #5

Timmy, you're good, huh?

Timmy's a good name.

Come here, come here, come here.

Shh, shh.

Wait, hold on guys, seriously.

I think I can hear

Timmy's thoughts.

Gee, I sure am glad I'm inside

right now.

Instead of being out there

in the cold and rain.

The mean man with the

effeminate shoes didn't

want me to come.

Hey!

Timmy would kill

for these shoes.

But I'll bite his ass later.

Why do we just assume

that dogs talk like that?

I mean, it's not like a

dog just opened his mouth

one day and that's what

it sounded like and we

assigned that voice to it.

Ignore them, Timmy.

Timmy?

That's his name.

Hey, I just thought

of something.

What?

Um, I told Siri earlier

how much I loved your

place, and all you guys

were missing was a dog,

and now...

One appears!

You have your chance.

We're not getting a dog.

Siri, it's not a dog.

It's Timmy.

Yeah.

I'm not just a dog, I need a

house, and I like you

guys the best.

You guys have that

little backyard.

It can run back and forth...

Yeah.

Timmy, where do you want to go?

He says, he says

he wants it too.

That's too bad.

So, uh, what are

we making Sarah?

We are making chilled

watermelon soup and sea scallop

Risotto.

What?

What are we making again?

I'm sorry, can you

do something helpful?

Did you say Risotto?

Can you please do

something helpful?

The joint's not going

to roll itself, Sarah.

And I'm making a magical

appetizer dish that's

going to make your

Risotto so much better.

Alright, please?

Please what?

Uh oh.

What?

Give me a break, I'm

not listening to that.

What?

It's like we're gripped by

this never-ending nostalgia

for our parents' music.

It's oppressive.

What about Bruce

Springsteen is oppressive?

Let me tell you something

about Bruce Springsteen,

okay?

Never, never trust anyone

who is that passionate

about the state of New Jersey.

You are so full of sh*t.

Okay.

Hmm?

What is he gonna do now.

What've we got.

Arcade fire?

Yes. Arcade f***ing fire.

What?

What's wrong with this.

Too Canadian.

What does that mean?

Too Canadian, really?

Does, does this

look too Canadian?

Really?

But who knows.

I don't know.

Maybe it fits our

postmodern profile for a

Canadian band to best

express American anxiety

during this gradual

post-empire period of decline.

Blah, blah, blah,

bullshit, blah.

Miss Kate?

Oh I don't,

I don't normally smoke.

Honey, it's not going to bite.

Okay.

Fine.

I like Kate.

There you go.

Alright.

Alex, where did you

get these records?

I feel like I'm

at a garage sale.

I, I bought them at a garage

sale.

Babe?

I'm okay.

What's going on?

Come on...

Look, if now is not the

time to get f***ed up, I

really, I don't.. I

don't know when is.

F*** it.

I'm dancing.

I'm gonna dance too.

Oh, here we go.

You should prepare

yourself for this.

This is what you

call a home run.

- Turn it up!

- That's right.

See that? Isaac,

who's the dancer now?

That's right Kate, Isaac

don't know these moves.

He won't show you these moves.

Hello.

What is up?

This looks terrible.

Thanks.

How serious were

you this morning?

About what?

You know what.

I just thought...

No, you know what, I'm

sorry I said anything.

I shouldn't have said anything.

I'm not sorry.

I'm not sorry.

- Okay, then...

- Isaac!

Yeah.

Get your anti-government

ass in here.

Come on.

I gotta go show those

fools how to dance.

Don't know

what you want.

So if you come round here, don't

make it clear, I want to be your man

What?

What's up?

Nothing.

Nothing?

Since when do you

turn down a joint?

I'm just not in the mood.

Then tell me something.

I'm dying over here.

I didn't want to influence you.

On what?

It should just be about us.

Really.

Oh... are you,

are you s...

Are you saying...

I don't know.

Are you sure?

No, I'm not sure.

Just...

Feeling.

I got a test today, but...

What does that look mean?

I'm, um...

I'm imagining a baby that

looks half like you and

half like me.

That tends to happen.

No.

What if I moved to LA?

I mean, sure when I got

there I'd be unemployed

and probably have to bus

tables or whatever those

people in LA do until they...

Make better money, but...

And please don't say that

if you don't mean it.

Of course I mean it.

All I'm saying is let's try.

You want to try with me?

Yeah.

Yeah?

Yeah!

I used to live alone, but I found

you so certain I'm yours to take.

Now I can't wait for all the

mistakes we've yet to make

Now shake

it up baby...

Food's ready, you guys.

You guys!

Thank you.

Wow.

Mm.

This food is so

incredible, Sarah.

Oh God.

You guys, you're welcome.

You are incredibly

stoned right now.

I would just like

to point that out.

Sarah, we are barely high.

Come on.

Okay, some of us

might be a little high.

Oh, sweetie.

Oh, I'm sorry.

I just really like how

cold it feels on my tongue.

Okay.

How come you haven't opened

up your own restaurant yet?

What's the deal?

Mm, it's called

law school loans.

How come we didn't do

more drugs in college?

That's a good question.

I figured that I would be

far less curious now if I

had just done a better job of

doing more drugs in college.

Well, you know we had a

good run freshman year.

Mhmm.

You remember that time

Siri ate that weed brownie

and ran through someone's

yard buck-naked?

Stop it!

Oh touchy!

It's true! You did!

Stop it!

What happened to us?

We got serious.

And we got girlfriend.

Oh, hey, okay.

You know what this is like?

This is like one of

those '80s movies.

What?

Like one of those movies

where there's like a big

group of people...

I just don't see why

everything in our lives

has to be like something else.

That's real deep Siri.

I'm serious.

It's like we can't just

experience something and

let it be.

'Cause that's the way

the people relate today.

They don't, they don't

talk about anything.

They just reference things.

Thank, thank you.

Oh yeah, I had a great weekend.

I went to this wedding.

You know actually, it

was a lot like "wedding

crashers," but

meets "memento."

That sounds like a good weekend

yeah, it probably does sound

cool. Who knows?

Or like, I don't know

how I was feeling, it was

probably, probably how

Rachel felt when Ross was

marrying that British girl.

Well, time out.

I'm pretty sure you just

admitted to watching "friends."

Yes. You did. He did.

There are Libyan refugees

who've seen "friends."

Oh, I have never felt this

stoned in my whole life.

Wow, okay.

It's hot. It's hot. It's hot.

It's hot in here.

It's pot.

It's pot?

Oh, that's a funny joke.

Well,

whoa!

Whoa, okay.

Okay, that's a fun game

we're not going to play

right now.

Is this a joke?

Are you my dad?

Oh, that's me, sorry.

Are you sure you want

to answer right now?

Maybe don't answer right now.

And she answers it.

Uh huh?

Tonight?

Yeah, it's okay if..

Could be important.

No, of course I'm okay.

Okay.

Bye.

Oh my God.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes