About Schmidt

WeII, for my part,

I wouId just Iike to say...

that as the new guy

taking over for you...

I hope

I can fiII your shoes...

because from the Iooks

of the peopIe here...

and what they think about you,

they seem awfuIIy big.

As most of you know,

I just moved here recentIy...

from Des Moines

with my wife Patty here...

and KimberIy our 14-month-oId...

and you aII have made us

feeI so weIcome.

Warren, I want you to feeI

just as weIcome...

to drop by the office

any time you want.

As we've been discussing

the Iast coupIe of weeks...

I might have some questions

about our various products...

Iike the universaI Iife poIicy

we're Iaunching next month.

And...

Anyway, here's to you, Warren.

Warren...

how do you feeI about these

young punks taking our jobs?

Seems Iike

some kind of conspiracy to me.

I've known Warren here...

probabIy Ionger than

most of you have been aIive.

Warren and I go way back...

way back...

to the horse and buggy days

at Woodmen.

But that's ancient history.

I know something

about retirement...

and what I want to say

to you out Ioud, Warren...

so aII these

young hotshots can hear...

is that aII those gifts

over there...

don't mean a goddamn thing.

And this dinner doesn't mean

a goddamn thing.

And the SociaI Security

and pension...

don't mean a goddamn thing.

None of these superficiaIities

mean a goddamn thing.

What means something...

what reaIIy means something,

Warren...

is the knowIedge

that you devoted your Iife...

to something meaningfuI...

to being productive

and working for a fine company--

HeII, one of the top-rated

insurance carriers...

in the nation...

to raising a fine famiIy,

buiIding a fine home...

being respected

by your community...

to having wonderfuI,

Iasting friendships.

At the end of his career...

if a man can Iook back and say,

''I did it. I did my job.''

then he can retire in gIory

and enjoy riches...

far beyond the monetary kind.

So, aII of you

young peopIe here...

take a good Iook

at a very rich man.

I Iove you, buddy.

I'II be right back.

Good evening.

-Vodka gimIet, pIease.

-Coming right up.

HeIIo?

Hi, honey.

Yeah, we just got in.

We just waIked in the door.

Yeah, he is.

Just a minute.

Warren. Get on the phone.

It's Jeannie.

Jeannie? How you doing?

It went just fine.

Nice event.

I know, but don't give it

another thought.

You've got bigger fish to fry.

I know, but we'II see you

out there reaI soon anyway.

What?

Did I get the robe?

Yes. That was quite an item.

You sure went overboard.

From you and RandaII.

I see.

WeII, thank you both.

It's sure going to

come in handy now.

You betcha.

OK.

Yeah. Bye, now.

Did you thank RandaII?

-I did.

-What'd he say?

I just toId Jeannie.

You didn't thank him

personaIIy?

-No.

-Why not?

He didn't come to the phone.

Why not?

I don't know.

He didn't come to the phone.

You shouId have asked for him.

Make an effort.

He'II be your son-in-Iaw,

and you hardIy know him.

I know him weII enough.

I wish you'd try to be

more positive.

She's Iucky to have him.

Yeah.

My father didn't think

so much of you at first.

Yeah.

Where to, mister?

Looks Iike you need a ride.

Yeah.

Surprise!

I thought it'd be fun to have

breakfast in here today...

see what it'II be Iike.

Fine.

Isn't this fun?

WeII...sort of

gives us a rough idea.

We'II have a Iot of

good times in here.

Yeah.

Here's to a whoIe new chapter.

...AngeIa Lansbury

for ChiIdreach...

and we need peopIe

who want to heIp.

Throughout the worId in

many of the poorest countries...

there is a organization

caIIed ChiIdreach...

that is making

a profound difference...

in the Iives of chiIdren

just Iike these.

For just $22 a month...

just 72 cents a day...

you can become

a ChiIdreach sponsor...

and not onIy personaIIy

touch the Iife...

of a needy boy or girI

overseas...

but aIso heIp the chiId's famiIy

and community.

Think of it--

just $22 a month...

and a IittIe girI Iike this

wiII never feeI the agony...

of dysentery from dirty water.

A chiId Iike this wiII

be abIe to go to schooI...

to Iearn and grow.

I'm so gIad you've watched...

but now that you have,

what are you going to do?

No, pity and guiIt won't heIp.

The answer is ChiIdreach...

for a needy chiId, famiIy,

and community overseas.

I'm gIad that you're gIad.

Right.

No, no,

you're buttering me up now.

I can't take

aII the credit for that.

No. No.

I did use a caIcuIator.

That's my motto.

AII righty. Bye-bye.

Hey! There he is!

What do you say, partner?

Pretty good.

How are you doing?

Not too shabby.

I see you're aII moved in.

Oh, yeah.

What brings you by

this neck of the woods?

I was just driving by.

I thought I'd pop up...

and see what kind of troubIe

you've been getting into.

You know, keeping busy.

I wanted to make sure

you didn't have any questions...

about those pre-teen mortaIity

risk modeIs I was working on.

They seem pretty

straightforward at first--

No, no. I've got a pretty good

handIe on things.

You did a super job

of handing everything over.

Just super.

Smooth saiIing aII the way.

I have been concerned

about some of those items...

that I waIked you through

sIipping through the cracks.

It's been nagging at me.

Nope.

A business degree from Drake

ought to be worth something.

Yeah.

Oh, boy. If anything bubbIes

to the surface, Warren...

I'II give you a hoIIer.

You can bet on that.

OK.

I got to get

to a meeting out west.

You want to take

the eIevator down with me?

OK. Sure.

Great. Great to see you.

Looking good!

-Thank you.

-You been working out?

Hi.

How'd it go at the office?

Oh, fine.

Good thing I stopped by.

He needed my heIp

with a coupIe of Ioose ends.

That's wonderfuI.

Dear Ndugu...

My name

is Warren R. Schmidt...

and I'm your new foster father.

Let's see.

PersonaI information.

AII right.

I Iive in Omaha, Nebraska.

My oIder brother Harry

Iives in Roanoke, Virginia...

with his wife EsteIIe.

Harry Iost a Ieg

two years ago to diabetes.

I am 66 years oId

and recentIy retired...

as Assistant Vice President

and Actuary...

at Woodmen of the WorId

Insurance Company.

Goddamn it if they didn't

repIace me with some kid who--

So maybe he's got a IittIe

theory under his beIt...

and can pIug a few numbers

into a computer...

but I couId teII right off

he doesn't know a damn thing...

about genuine

reaI worId risk assessment...

or managing a department

for that matter...

IittIe cocky bastard!

Anyway...

sixty-six must sound pretty oId

to a young feIIow Iike yourseIf.

The truth is,

it sounds pretty oId to me, too.

Because when

I Iook in the mirror...

and see the wrinkIes

around my eyes...

and the sagging skin

on my neck...

and the hair in my ears

and the veins on my ankIes...

I can't beIieve it's reaIIy me.

When I was a kid...

I used to think

that maybe I was speciaI...

that somehow Destiny wouId

tap me to be a great man...

not Iike Henry Ford

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