About Time Page #2

can I ask you a question?

Yeah. Ask away.

No, wait.

?t's not going to

be about love, is it?

Love? What?

Well, it's just that Kit Kat warned me that

if you were to ever mention it, I should be

very firm with you and tell you

you must treat me

like your sister

and not be stupid.

Or have I just made

a total fool of myself

and you were actually

going to ask me for

late night last

minute tennis tips?

No, it was the love thing.

Well.

That's very sweet of you.

?t's just a shame you

left it till the last night.

You should have tried creeping along

the corridor while we still had time.

Okay, the ?'last night?'

was a bad idea?

Very bad idea. it feels like an ever

so slightly insulting afterthought.

?'Last night?' was

never going to work.

All right. Good. I've got it.

Come in.

Tim. Hi. Charlotte.

Hi. Sit down.

I know you've

probably suspected this,

but over the last month I've fallen

completely in love with you.

Now obviously

this was gonna happen

because you're

a goddess with that face

and that hair,

but even if you

didn't have a nice face,

and even if you had

absolutely no hair

because of some

bizarre medical reason,

I'd still adore you,

and I...

I just wondered whether, by any

chance, you might share my feelings.

Wow.

I tell you what.

Why don't we see

how the summer goes

and then you ask me

again on my last night?

Your last night? Yes.

Try me on the last night. See

what happens then, shall we?

?t's exciting.

Right.

No, it's a perfect plan. That's

absolutely perfect. Last night.

Last night.

Thanks very much.

Night-night, Timmy.

Big lesson number one,

all the time travel in the world

can't make someone love you.

Bye!

So the love of my life

just drove away.

And the very next day

it was my turn to leave.

There you go. Don't

spend it all at once.

Thanks.

Don't call too often, your mother

doesn't like to be disturbed.

Okay. Thanks.

I caught the train to London in

search of a future and a girlfriend.

I was staying in St John's

Wood, near Abbey Road,

with a playwright friend

of my dad's called Harry.

It's always nice to have family connections

when you're a new kid in town.

What the f*** do you want?

I'm James's son.

Who?

James Lake. What about him?

He said you had a room.

Go in there and wait.

Quietly. I mean it,

don't make a sound.

Or I'll kill you.

I was actually having the first

good idea I've had for a decade

when you rang on the doorbell.

But now it's gone.

You little sh*t.

How's your dad?

Weird cock, I always thought.

Something weird about him.

Really?

Yeah, I never really

liked him, actually.

Your mum still

look like Andy Warhol?

What?

That, by the way, is my wife.

Nice.

Yeah, you wouldn't

like her at first.

Sarcastic cow.

But eventually

you'd realise that

she's the best human

being in the world.

Which is why she

left me, of course.

Here you go.

Try not to make too much noise,

particularly when having sex.

No chance of that.

Christ,

two losers in one house.

That is my daughter.

Have sex with her if you like.

Apparently everyone else has.

It wasn't a hopeful

set-up for romance.

And work didn't help

on that score either.

The world of law seems to

be entirely full of men.

Hello. I'm Rory. Very pleased to meet you.

A real thrill.

Well, who knows, we might become,

you know, pals, et cetera.

Who the hell are you? Tim Lake.

Well, I hope you're

better than this clown.

Come on, Roger.

?t's Rory, actually.

I've been here

a year and a half.

I'm just saying that to be nice.

It's two years actually.

So six lonely months went by

and it was still just me and Harry.

Me lawyer-ing every hour

of the day and night.

And him putting the finishing

touches to his new play.

No matter how many girls

there were in the world,

I always seemed to

end up with Rory.

Hello.

Until, out of the blue,

on a dodgy night out with dodgy

Jay, something miraculous happened.

The waiters are,

wait for this,

right, they're blind.

You're kidding me?

I'm kidding you not.

No, as bats. As bats!

Very good to

have you here, gentlemen.

I hope you enjoy

your experience.

Carlo will show

you to your table.

Great. Lead on, maestro.

Can I have your right hand on

my right shoulder, please?

And your friend hold on to your shoulder.

Thank you.

Mind the stairs and

be prepared because

it's completely dark.

Okay, gentlemen,

if you don't mind,

I can sit you here beside

these two young ladies.

No, no.

Sounds absolutely perfect!

God,

you sound very perky.

I am. And very handsome.

Someone's there.

Hi. Hi. I'm Mary.

I'm Tim. Mary's my

mother's name, actually.

Does it suit her? Sort of.

Although she's sturdy, so Bernard

might have been a better fit.

Okay.

Something just

touched my elbow.

Okay, that wasn't me.

No. Well, that just makes it worse.

If it wasn't you, who was it?

it wasn't me because I'm

touching something else.

Yes, and you'll stop

that right away, thank you.

So, girls, be honest,

who is more beautiful?

- I am.

- Yeah. She is.

Excellent!

Actually,

I look like Kate Moss.

Really?

No. I sort of

look like a squirrel.

Do you like Kate Moss?

I absolutely love her.

In fact, I almost wore one of

her dresses here tonight. You?

No, no, her clothes

look terrible on me.

I cannot believe that it's

your birthday next week as well.

Your friend Jay is

quite enthusiastic.

I actually hate him.

What's Joanna like?

- She's basically a prostitute.

- Yeah.

I think it's strawberry mousse.

Ooh!

Do you want some?

Um... Okay. I'll try it.

Okay, where's your mouth?

?t's...

it's here.

Okay. There?

My God, what was that?

That's my eye.

I think there's a lot of...

I've got quite a lot of

strawberry mousse

in my eye now!

I'm so sorry.

No. Thank you. That's

a new sensation for me.

So, maybe I'll see

you outside or...

Yeah. Yeah, great.

Great. Scary.

Yeah, it's a bit scary.

My God, I'm so in there.

What about you?

I don't know,

but she sounded wonderful.

Shh!

Joanna? Jay.

Christ, you're a babe.

How do you fancy

stretching the night

out a bit?

I can ditch the loser.

We've got to rush, but help me find a

cab and I might give you my number.

Of course. Yeah.

Or I might not.

Haven't decided yet. So...

I have. it's not gonna happen.

Hi. Hi.

Where's... She

and Jay just...

She took him to...

I don't know.

Right.

Well, I guess I'd better...

Would it be very wrong if I

asked you for your number?

No.

Just in case I ever

had to call you about...

Stuff? -

Okay.

Would you...

it's Mary.

Mary.

Okay.

I thought this phone

was old and sh*t,

but suddenly it's my most

valuable possession.

You really like me?

Even my frock?

I love your frock.

And my hair?

It's not too brown?

I love brown.

My fringe is new.

The fringe is perfect.

Fringe is the best bit.

Mary!

We have to go! I found a cab and his

dodgy friend is about to assault me.

Okay, I'm coming.

Two seconds.

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