About Time Page #3

I hope I see you again.

You will.

Okay. Good.

Goodnight.

What's happened?

What have you done,

you poor thing?

Nothing.

It's just a flesh wound.

Here. Thank you.

You may remember,

my play opened tonight.

My God, yes. How did it go?

Well. it went well.

You could tell in the room a

masterpiece was being unfurled.

Really? Really.

Until, and this is the

crucial plot point, I think,

until the lead actor had the most

massive dry in the history of theatre.

No, no, no. Yes, yes, yes.

He didn't just

forget his lines.

He forgot his lines

to the extent

that no actor has ever

forgotten their lines

before in

the annals of dramatic art.

The reviews won't say,?'Major masterpiece

gets unveiled, ?'

they'll say, ?'Major

actor gets Alzheimer's.?'

it's a disaster.

Is an understatement.

?t's the Titanic of play

openings, but with no survivors.

No women, no children,

not even Kate Winslet.

All dead.

Okay. I'll see what I can do.

What does that mean?

What are you gonna do?

Ring up every critic

in London and

offer them a blow job

if they ignore the fact that we sat

in total silence for half an hour

waiting for a moron to

remember one single line?

Not quite that.

Hello.

Hello, Sir Tom. I'm a friend of Harry's.

How's it going with the lines?

I'm sorry,

what do you mean ?'the lines?'?

?t's just, you know,

in the court scenes,

some of those lines

are pretty complex.

And I just thought maybe it

might be worth, you know,

having one last

look at the lines

before you go on.

A little refresher.

F*** off out of here.

You arsing lunatic. Get out!

You ginger twerp. Go on!

Patronising piece of...

And now the Defence.

I have lived

many weary years...

it's brilliant... but never,

in that long catalogue

of wasted time,

have I ever seen such an atrocious

miscarriage of justice.

Do the Prosecution have

anything final to add?

Sorry, excuse me. Sorry.

Do the Prosecution have

anything final to add?

Psst!

Gentlemen...

Gentlemen,

I regard today's proceedings

with the utmost gravity.

Nevertheless,

let us be clear of one

simple and salient thing.

?t is the life

of a guilty man!

One of the actors appeared

to have actually fallen asleep...

Here's the little prick who

walked out halfway through.

You missed the best scene,

you little twerp.

Sorry.

What did you think of the set?

I thought it was incredible.

Did you? I didn't. Too brown.

Mary!

No.

She's gone.

Two girls in earlier tonight. One of

them the prettiest girl in the world.

The other one like a

sort of nice prostitute.

Did you get their names?

Yes. They left

a while ago. Let's see.

No, I'm afraid

they were walk-ins

and it appears

they paid by cash.

Sorry, sir.

That's okay.

That's fine, it's brilliant.

?t's just the end of my life.

Thanks so much.

Cheer up, mate.

Apparently, you're living with

Britain's greatest living playwright.

I don't usually

read them, obviously,

but I couldn't resist this one.

?'Harry Chapman

found guilty of genius.?'

I have to go out. Right now.

Why?

She loves Kate Moss.

Thanks for keeping

me company, Kittle.

Nothing better to do.

How's Jimmy?

Dumped me.

Not again.

And work? They've sacked me.

Idiots.

Coffee? Please.

I've only just noticed this cat

in this picture. See that cat?

I do see that cat.

It's very good.

My God.

My God!

What?

it's her.

?t's her!

That's her!

Shh!

You go, girl.

Sorry.

Hi. Hi.

How are you?

I'm... I'm fine.

?t's so good to see you.

Um... We've never met before.

No, f***.

No, of course we haven't. No.

Sorry, I think you've

mistaken me for someone else.

No, no, no.

Your name's Mary.

That's distinctly weird.

How do you know that?

Well, you look like a Mary.

In what way?

My mum's called Mary.

I look like your mother?

No. You're much prettier.

?t's a nice fringe, by the way.

God, it's new and

probably too short but... No.

Well, gee, thank you and

listen, it was

really nice to meet you.

I should probably go because

my friend's waiting for me

and you're a,

you're a total stranger.

Total stranger.

Yeah, it's crazy stuff.

Yeah, kind of. Okay.

Bye, Mary. Bye.

No.

How did it go?

?t was very poor.

Very poor indeed, yeah.

You gotta go again.

You can do it. Take two.

She just always... She

always looks different.

Sorry. it's me again.

Hi. Sorry.

Joanna, this is...

Tim.

Hello. Nice to meet you.

Tim is a total stranger whose

mother's name is Mary.

I just had a weird

experience with Mary here

of thinking she was someone else.

But she wasn't.

But I just wondered if I

could walk round with you

for a while because my sister

Kit Kat is about to leave...

Yeah.

Bye... and...

And so,

I'm about to be quite lonely.

Right. Well, I think we

should probably say no.

No, yes. But on the other hand,

he's got a quite nice smile

and sort of,

you know, fun hair.

Yeah.

All right.

But you have to promise that you are

not one of the following things.

One, a lunatic.

Yeah. No.

Two, a fringe fetishist.

I'm just Kate Moss's

number one male fan.

God. Really?

Yeah. God, yeah.

Do you agree that the magic

of her lies in her history?

That the informality

of her early shots

compared to this stuff

so you just always know

that, despite the high

fashion, she's still just

that cheeky normal

naked girl on the beach?

Couldn't have put

it better myself.

That's absolutely it.

I agree with that profoundly.

Milk?

Yes.

Sugar? No.

Boyfriend?

Yes!

No. No, you don't

have a boyfriend.

Do I not look like

I'd have a boyfriend?

Do I look like I'd never

get a boyfriend? No.

That's the rudest thing

I've ever heard.

I didn't mean it like that.

I just didn't expect...

Is it quite a new boyfriend?

Yes.

There he is. Rupert.

Yes. He's so cute. Rupert?

Hi, guys.

Sorry I'm late, with my dad.

Hi, Rupee.

?'Rupee?'?

Well, this is Tim and

we don't know him at all.

Hey, I was thinking we could

take in a film after this.

Get some mixed popcorn,

share a Coke,

snuggle. Okay.

Okay.

When did you two meet? Exactly?

Well, it was only

a week ago, actually.

?t's all been a bit of a

whirlwind, hasn't it, poochy face?

I'm gonna have to teach you what you

can and can't say in front of people.

No ?'poochy face?'? No.

No. Definitely not.

Come on, then. More details about

this wonderful first meeting?

Okay, okay.

?t was, um, what... Joanna?

June 17th.

And Jo was

having a little party.

A living hell from which

Rupert, thank God, rescued me.

And where was

this terrible party?

My brothel of a flat.

Which is where, though? That's

the question, isn't it.

What are you, a detective?

No, sorry, I've just got

a very visual imagination.

I like to imagine

stuff completely.

26 Courtfield Gardens,

SW5. Around 8:
30.

Dress code, slutty.

Will that do?

Absolutely, yes.

Although I am wondering

when you got there, Rupert.

Early, late?

On time, I think.

True love was calling.

God.

I actually feel a bit

sick now. Just these

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