About Time Page #7

crossed your worried mind.

What happened?

We had a fight.

And,

maybe I wasn't

completely sober.

How is she? Not good.

When did she leave you?

From where?

I want it exact.

Exact time. Exact address.

Here we are. Sorry, sorry.

Come on.

God.

Hi. There she is.

Does a small baby live here?

Yes, and she's so excited.

She's downstairs.

Happy birthday, Posy.

I'm sorry.

I had to pick up Kit Kat.

I thought she was

gonna drive herself.

Turns out she couldn't.

She okay? Later.

I'm worried about Kit Kat.

Yeah. I know.

She was drinking wine

while we were drinking tea.

And Jimmy wasn't nice to her.

And she spurned

the purple cupcakes.

We have to do

something to fix it.

Yeah.

But, you know,

if it's gonna be fixed, I think she

probably has to do it herself.

Maybe.

Maybe not.

My darling. What's happened?

You're the best

person in the world.

You're top equal with

my wife. I don't get it.

Maybe, just maybe,

I'm the faller.

Every family has,

like, someone who falls,

who doesn't make the grade,

who stumbles,

who life trips up.

Maybe I'm our faller.

No.

Okay. I'm gonna

tell you a secret.

And you have to

promise to keep it.

We've always kept secrets.

We have?

You promise you

won't ever, ever, ever,

ever, ever, ever, ever,

ever, ever, ever, ever tell?

Yes.

I can travel in time.

Why are we standing in the

cupboard under the stairs?

Because we're gonna go back in time and

you're gonna do some things differently.

I love it when you're funny.

Grab my hand. Close your eyes.

My God! My God!

My arsing God in a box.

You're kidding?

I can go anywhere in time and you bring

me back to the worst party of all time.

'Fraid so. Let's go.

We've got work to do.

What work?

Making sure you do

not meet Jimmy Kincade.

Quick, in here.

But he's about to

fall in love with me!

Not this time he isn't.

Who's the pretty looking girl?

It's Jennifer, isn't it?

Yeah.

Wild!

I like your skirt, Jennifer.

Thank you.

Right, I get it.

?f he hadn't met me, he would have

just had sex with someone else.

Nip it in the bud?

Excuse me, Jimmy.

Sorry. Do I know you?

Yeah, you do.

Very well. Sorry.

And this is what I should

have done right at the start.

Happy New Year, everybody.

Happy New Year.

And back to the cupboard.

Amazing!

What happens now?

God knows.

What I'm hoping is that from

this moment on you avoid

the sleazy bad guys because

they're sleazy and bad.

When did you get so serious?

Since it occurred to me

that I might lose you.

Brace yourself,

this could be weird.

Things will have changed.

My God.

What?

Jay.

Jay Jay? Yes.

And he's adorable. My God.

Right,

let's do this.

Come on, you two.

Mum's just cracked open

a packet of biscuits.

I've got

something in mind for you.

I know

what you're gonna say.

Have a biscuit and

come and help me.

But leave the rest for Uncle D.

?t's just tidying really.

You all right? I missed you.

Yeah.

Your mum wants me to do

some gardening. Okay.

it's tidying up, it's

all a bit out of control.

Anything that looks dead, out.

This is what we're looking for.

Okay? All this.

Dead stuff. See this.

They've torn them

to shreds, haven't they?

How did everything go?

Immensely satisfactory.

I'm so happy. I wanna

hear all about it.

Will you do dinner for us

because there's something

I have to do before

6:
00 or I'll get fired?

Yeah. I can't think of

anything I'd love to do more.

Okay, where is the most

fabulous person in the world?

Come to your dad and get mashed

up food shoved into your mouth!

Hello there, little boy.

You just

wait there and I'll

be back in a minute.

Dad, can I have a quick word?

Yeah. Sure.

I can't go back past

the birth again, can I?

No. I should have

mentioned that.

You're okay till it

comes out but the exact

sperm at the exact

moment got you this

particular baby,

so if you do anything

the tiniest bit

different, you'll

have a different child.

So, every day up 'til yesterday

is as it will always be? Lost?

Just like for everyone else.

Okay. interesting.

Tough. I love you, Dad.

I've gotta go.

No.

We're not leaving

this room until we find

a way of making sure

this never happens again.

Will you go now?

I have to leave Jimmy, don't I?

For good.

And I have to stop drinking.

And stop leaving jobs.

And I have to

go out with someone

nice and boring.

Yay.

And, you know, nice

isn't necessarily boring.

Like who?

Matt Damon?

Okay.

I'll go out with Matt Damon.

Tell me,

have you seen Jay recently?

Your Jay? What, sticky-up hair Jay?

Looks a bit like a muppet Jay?

Yes.

He just popped into my head.

He's always had a crush on you.

Really? Yeah.

Weird!

Thinking of asking him to dinner.

Are you free?

Might be. Might have to

freshen up a bit first.

Yeah. You look sh*t.

Joanna.

Thank Christ you're back.

?t's been a total nightmare.

I know. it's all fine anyway.

Where is she?

it was the single worst night of my life.

Where's Posy?

There she is! Hello!

Hello! Hello.

Darling, how are you doing?

Let's have another one.

Screw that. No.

That hurt and I got fat.

Like fat-fat.

Got a little

bit fat, didn't she.

Tell Mummy you want a sister.

No. Tell Daddy you're happy

being an only child.

Fortunately we are

young and careless and

it wasn't long before

there were four of us.

And this is incredible. Posy

Lake, only 3 years old,

is about to break the women's

10 metre Olympic record.

They're gonna do it. And here they

are, they've done it! Fantastic.

That was brilliant.

You're so good.

Sleeping right

through all that.

Can you help me?

I'm so nervous.

What do I wear for dinner

with our bestselling author?

Let me finish up with the

monsters and I'll come right up.

Great. Thank you.

Go again.

Okay. How about this?

That's gorgeous.

Job done. Yeah.

No. Take it seriously. it's...

I don't know. No, I hate it.

Yeah. it's boring and

makes me look kind of lumpy.

No, you're right. it is boring and lumpy.

I hate it.

Okay. What about this?

Gorgeous. We did it.

No, it's too breasty.

Is it? Okay.

?t's not too breasty.

No. I'm not wearing these heels.

I look like a prostitute.

Not high heels, then.

But then we have

the short legs problem.

Well, do you want to look

like a prostitute or a dwarf?

Warning. That's a warning.

Yes!

No.

No!

Now that I like.

No, I'm just

picking up the dress

that this goes under.

Such a bad boy.

This one?

Not bad.

Or this one?

?t's a trick question, isn't it?

Same dress. No!

No?

Okay. I don't think

this one's too bad.

Yeah, it's fabulous.

Really? Yeah.

Okay. Great. Good.

Um...

How about the blue one?

The blue one? Yeah.

The first one that you tried

on that was boring and lumpy,

but that wasn't actually

boring and lumpy, that one?

Yeah, which do you prefer?

I don't know. I'm actually

starting to go mad.

I think I like the blue one.

Okay. Yeah.

Okay. Okay, let's go

with this one, then?

You look amazing.

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