Absolute Beginners Page #4

Eddie Sex and Baby Boom.

Hey, Colin.

I'd asked everyone, but Suzette

hadn't been around in weeks.

Now this is urgent.

I need a new whosit

for my whatsit, you dig?

Tough.

Give me your jacket, Eddie.

And they're all mine.

My boys!

What a mover! What a mover!

We want Baby Boom! We want Baby Boom!

Go on, give her a kiss.

We want Baby Boom! We want Baby Boom!

Hold it.

This teenage scene's

getting out of hand.

Yeah, well, you should know, Wizard.

Hello there, pop pickers.

You will give my boys a mention,

won't you? That's it.

Hello, pop pickers.

Sorry, boy.

I won't regret it

when the teenage label's

torn off my drip-dry, sky-blue jeans.

It's not working! I want my money back!

Shut up and keep singing.

I may look like a little kitten

New label.

They never know the difference.

- Oi!

- I'll show you the real thing later, girl.

And you big old ginger Toms

That's his kick, not mine.

Must all be missing persons

when I've gone, along

Baby Boom,

14 years old with a mental age of nine.

It blows younger every year.

From what I hear, your snaps played

a certain part in that spermlet's rise.

Don't knock it, Colin.

Milk it, shake it, rake it, make it.

Take it for all it's got.

The power of youth.

Have you seen Suzette, Wiz?

You're a born adult number.

Good for your girl.

Paying for nosh.

You need educating.

Hi, Wiz.

- Hello.

- Hello.

Shut up.

Wiz, you're a real specimen.

I'm surprised they don't use you

in some experiment.

Her name's Dorita. Going into business.

What?

You heard.

Gotta blow. Give my hi to Crpe Suzette.

You should hear them all meow

Look out, big cat,

little cat's moving...

Look out, big cat,

little cat's moving in

Look out, big cat,

little cat's king cat now

Hello?

Hello, Suze?

Oh, Colin. It's you.

What are you doing these days?

I'm getting ready to go out.

Where you going?

Well, I'm going to Dido Lament's party,

if you must know.

Dido Lament, the gossip columnist.

That vampire?

Chumped-up spivs

and body snatchers, that's her scene.

Watch out, Suze.

You don't know what you're getting into.

Deary me, child,

what are you doing here?

Socializing, like everyone else.

Everyone you hate.

All the parasites are here.

Oh, the Fabulous Hoplite.

Dido.

And a new friend.

Not your usual type, Hoplite.

Doesn't swing my way, sugar.

Dido, this is Colin.

Colin is one of

olde London's hottest talents,

with his camera.

Well, honey, if you're so handy

with this little thing,

why don't you fix me up

with a few party snaps?

What's the price these days?

You do it for love.

- Cocktail, madam? Sir?

- Ah!

- To life!

- Thanks.

To love.

Careful, child.

It's got alcohol in it.

Selling out

Selling out, selling out

To love.

Well, you've never seen

my little place here, have you?

Uh, oh. Oh, oh, darling.

Darling.

- One-hee

- One-hee

- Two-hee

- Two-hee

- Can he

- Can he

- May he?

- Maybe

Colin, I'm so glad I caught you.

I've got so much work for you.

Now call me.

Dreadnought, seven, seven, double seven.

Dreadnought, seven, seven, double seven.

B*tch.

I'll see you later, Fido.

It's Dido.

Oh, what a shame.

Nobody's wild about Harry.

Are you ready for something

a little more potent?

Don't worry about it, Colin.

Stay on here in the Land of Oz,

with the Wizard and all those

other creepy pals of yours,

and you'll never need to know.

Who are you talking to?

I'm talking to you.

Don't bug me.

What are you doing here?

Let's get legitimate.

Why don't you disappear?

How far are you going?

Hey, man, I'm going all the way.

We'll never live this down, man.

I don't care what people say.

If I become a swinging somebody

I'll get my Crpe Suzette

I'm selling out

Selling out

Selling out

Selling out

It's ready. Ah!

- Selling out

- Don't try to stop me

- Selling out

- I'm pulling out

Are you with me or without me

Let's party.

Yeah!

Right. Go and circulate.

Why don't you push yourself forward.

You know, give it some of that.

Oh, Hoplite. Who got you ready?

Hi, Call-Me-Cobber.

He's researching a TV Special.

Do you know any authentic teenagers?

What are they?

Teenagers are the new economic class.

This is the age of the teenager.

It's my aim, it's my mission in life,

to bring pop culture to the masses.

Uh, why don't you give me a ring?

My number's Speedwell...

What is my number, anyone?

Speedwell 8-7-6-5.

Yes, that's it.

What he actually wants to know is,

do you teenagers

have an active sex life?

Well, do you?

None of your business, nice b*tch-girl.

Oh, I love anger.

You know,

you and I ought to argue sometime.

Selling out

Selling out

Good idea. You need a nose job, Harry.

Having it all

Having it all

Having it all

You'll never stop me

We meet at last, Colin.

Harry's been telling me all about you.

Fantabulous.

Selling out

Selling out

He tells me you have integrity,

just the kind of thing

my agency stands for.

Tomorrow's watch, today.

I can use a guy like you.

Bell me. Mayfair, zero,

zero, double zero.

What was that?

Mayfair, zero, zero, double zero.

Oh.

Oh, I'm seeing double

Selling out

Suze.

Come on, surrender

Selling out

It's what she's hoping

- Do you like my designs?

- What designs?

Colin, what are you doing here?

I'm selling out.

What are you doing here?

Selling out

Selling out

Selling out

I can still see you, Colin.

The French have a word for it.

I don't care what the French call it.

He's an old queen,

and I call it disgusting.

I can understand why he'd do it.

But you?

He's just using you.

You're just a front for his...

Is this some kind of a gag?

What, you going out with Suzette?

Aren't you a little old for her, Henley?

I'm only 37.

Thirty-seven?

Around the waist, maybe.

Afraid that can't be, dear boy.

I'm afraid we've named the day.

Show him, my dear.

Not now, Henley.

Show him.

You couldn't afford her

in the first place.

You'll ruin everything.

We'll never live this down, man

I don't care what people say

If I become a swinging somebody

I'll get my Crpe Suzette

I'm selling out

My friends,

a specter is haunting Britain.

The specter of immigration.

People of Kensington,

time is running out.

But a great man

has returned to our shores,

and he has chosen these streets

to launch a campaign,

which will cleanse the country

of this pestilence.

Now is the time to act.

Come to the public meeting

and hear him speak about this evil.

It is a black tide,

which threatens to engulf our country.

Only last week, in Tilbury Docks,

a black spider over 8 inches long

was discovered, concealed in a crate

of bananas from Africa.

Your women are being sold

into sexual slavery,

to pander to the lust...

- Give me that.

- ...of the African barbarians.

The time for talking...

"Way out." I'll see you out

with pleasure.

What, the hell,

right do you think you've got

coming here, stirring up trouble?

You want to smell my broom?

You shut up, curly-locks.

Naturally, we're doing all we can

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