Accident Page #2

A novel.

I'd like to write a novel.

- You would, eh?

- But I can't.

It's child's play.

All you need is a starting point.

- Oh?

- Here, for instance.

- Where?

- Here. On this lawn.

What are we all up to?

We're going to Granny's on Tuesday.

Are you going for a long time?

We're going for three weeks.

Mummy's going to have a baby, you see.

When you're going to have a baby,

you see,

you've got to have lots of rest.

Of course.

Describe to me what we're all doing.

Rosalind's lying down.

Stephen's weeding the garden.

Anna's making a daisy chain.

We're... having this conversation.

Good.

But then you could go further.

Rosalind is pregnant.

Stephen... is having an affair

with a girl at Oxford.

He's reached the age where he can't

keep his hands off girls at Oxford.

What?

But he feels guilty, of course.

So he makes up a story.

What story?

This story.

What are you talking about?

Oh!

These files are terrible.

Flies? There aren't any flies!

They're Sicilian horse files

from Corsica.

Have you heard our conversation?

Yes.

Yes!

Out!

Hurry up!

Right. Oh!

Anna! That's mine!

Ooh!

Your serve.

Oh!

- Fault!

- Oh, my God!

Limonade!

Well, will you stay for supper?

- Yes.

- Cheers.

We came to see Rosalind,

and she's lying in a heap.

- You what?

- She's lying in a heap!

Thought you said

she was Uriah Heep!

She is, but she's lying in one too!

What are you doing?

Making tea.

I've just asked them to stay for dinner.

Dinner?

No. Supper.

Cold supper.

Are they staying?

I don't know.

But I'll do it.

I'll do the supper.

Kettle.

Have you any brothers or sisters?

One sister.

- Is she beautiful?

- Very.

Come for a walk, hm?

I'm so comfortable.

It's so lovely here.

Yes, it is.

I think I'll go for a walk.

I'll come too.

- Are you fond of William?

- Why do you ask?

Are there many dons like you?

Certainly not.

- Mind, there's a spider's web.

- It won't hurt me.

Shall we go back now?

Yes.

- Oh, hello.

- Hello.

How are you?

Fine.

How's Laura?

Great.

All right, you know.

I don't know, really.

I haven't seen her.

I've been pretty busy, you know.

One thing and another.

- You look terrible.

- Me?

I feel wonderful.

Well, this'll kill you.

There.

I know.

Will you stay for supper?

I'd love to,

but I don't know about William.

He'll stay.

Have you seen William?

No.

How are you getting on?

Fine.

What do you mean?

What does Rosalind think about it?

What does Rosalind think about what?

- Have you seen Anna?

- No.

- You're staying for supper, aren't you?

- We ought to go.

It's all arranged.

Where are the children?

They're not back yet.

They went out to tea.

I didn't know that.

- How's the supper?

- Nearly there.

Oh, I think it's nearly ten years.

Whisky?

Cheers.

Who made that soup?

I didn't make any soup.

Your wife.

Your beautiful wife

made that damn soup.

It was beautiful soup!

My wife is beautiful too,

isn't she, Rosalind?

Yes.

She's as beautiful as that soup.

She's rich and intelligent

and beautiful.

And we have three kids.

Don't forget that.

And she understands me and...

And?

And we're all old friends,

him and his wife and me and my wife.

Don't forget that.

And he's more successful than me

because he appears on television.

- Do you talk on television?

- What do you think I do?

Play the flute?

- What do you talk about?

- You name it... and I'll talk about it.

He talks... about archaeology...

...astrology...

Anthropology,

sociolog... sociologgigy...

Sociology.

Codology.

And sex.

In that order.

He suits the medium.

You mean, you think

that I don't suit the medium?

They wouldn't let you

within ten miles of the medium!

I have an appointment.

With your producer.

Next week.

With my producer?

Your producer!

- With old Bill Smith?

- We're going home now.

Asked to see me.

You're... going to appear

on my television show.

And I will run you out of town, kid.

- Stephen, he wants to drive back.

- Who does?

William!

Do you hear me?

I'll drive you home.

Impossible!

He's drunk!

- I'll drive.

- You haven't got a licence.

- William, can I drive?

- No, you'll have to stay.

I will drive.

We'd better stay.

- Well, I'll drive!

- No, you won't!

- Well, then Charley can drive.

- Oh, to hell!

Look here.

Come on, boy.

You are slightly drunk.

You may stay.

Why the bloody hell

do you want us to bloody well stay?

Come on now.

Will you excuse me?

But of course, my dear fellow.

They're staying.

Which room is everybody in?

How the hell should I know?

Splendid day.

It gives me great pleasure

to know that you enjoyed

your day with us.

Good night.

Good night.

Anna?

Rosalind.

Darling.

What?

I love you.

Mm.

Reception.

Yes, I see. Thank you.

I'm afraid Mr Smith isn't here.

Will you see Mr Bell?

Er... all right.

Turn right as you go out.

One flight down to the annexe.

- It's the fifth door on the left.

- Thank you.

You can't miss it.

Hello. I'm Bell.

Remember me? I'm Bell.

- Erm...

- I was up at Oxford.

Oh, yes, of course.

How are you?

Bill Smith's iII. He's in hospital.

- Oh, I'm sorry.

- I've got to see him. Got that file?

- I don't actually know him.

- You don't know him?

What did he want you for?

Do you know?

- Well, I think...

- Do you ever see Francesca?

- Who?

- Francesca. The provost's daughter.

The daughter of the provost.

Ah, yes.

No, I don't.

You knew her well.

I've been married for some years.

Well done.

Ah, yes. Bill was thinking of you

for the panel.

I've got to see him in a minute.

He's very iII.

- What's the matter with Bill?

- He's in hospital.

Mr Bill's secretary...

I think he was thinking of me for...

He was perfectly all right yesterday.

We had a drink together.

- I don't believe it.

- I don't know what his plans were.

What happened to him?

Perhaps I can let you know.

He collapsed last night.

Look, why don't you come and see him?

I'm going there now to see him.

- What time are you going?

- I'm going now.

All right. Sorry about this.

Give my love to Francesca.

- I haven't see her.

- Are you going straightaway?

I'm going right away! Now!

'Hello?'

'Hello?

'Hello?'

Francesca?

'I was in my bath

when you phoned.

'You haven't changed at all.

Not at all.'

'Wonderful to see you.'

'I was in my bath

when you phoned.'

'Well, it must be... ten years?'

'Ten years?

'It can't be.

'Must be.'

'It must be.'

'It is.'

'You don't look a day older.'

'Oh, really?

I'm ten years older.

'How's your wife?'

'It's a beautiful dress

and a beautiful coat.

'You look marvellous.'

'I'm in consumer research.

Did you know?

'It's fascinating.'

'Do you remember

those times in the car? Do you?

'Well, do you?'

'Of course I remember.

'I remember.

'I'm supposed to be on a diet.

I'm too fat.

'So then you have three?

'Three children.

Good gracious!'

'You're not fat.'

'I'm very happy.

'My life is happy.

'Have I changed?'

'You're the same.'

'The same as I was?

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