Accidents Happen Page #6

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And Im here now.

I won't come again.

I can't.

You've made, Gene,

a big light.

A shine.

Are you listening?

Gene, it's your turn.

You have to go.

I love you, son.

Gene, I--

Im gonna go with Ma.

You coming, Larry?

Do you hate me?

No.

Larry?

How could you do that?

How could I not?

Your son and Douglas Post

came forward a few days ago

and claimed they

were responsible for

Douglas's father's death.

Yes. Billy told me that.

I was shocked. You could

have knocked me with over

a dessert spoon

and then eaten

me with it.

Right. Well, We'd like

to question them further

down the station.

You'll need

to come with him.

Oh, Billy, your

halo's slipping.

Don't you have a friend

you have to meet?

Pardon the dueling banjos.

I think there were some cousin

marriages on the father's side.

You might like

to engage a lawyer.

Larry, okay, you've

had enough of the fun.

Now, tell the officers

what you told me.

About what?

Apparently, so my

son tells me,

the Post dope came up

with this whole bowling

ball caper,

so his family

could collect

the insurance money.

I didn't tell you that.

No, Billy did.

After you told me

that were here all night.

What can I tell you?

Billy is an idiot.

I was like yourselves,

gentlemen. I swallowed

the whole story

like it was a sh*t

cake covered in a

rich chocolate sauce.

I assure you, ma'am,

we didn't swallow

anything.

So, Larry, I'd like

to hear from you.

In your own words,

what happened?

Mm?

The Shithead

and the Asswipe

were here.

All night.

They had TV dinners.

I guess the real

question is, do you

have the bowling ball?

Well, no.

Bingo!

Are you sure?

No. No!

Oh.

Sorry, everyone.

Sorry. Sorry!

False alarm.

Just testing

the bingo arm.

Bingo!

The last number called

was G-49. We'll continue.

O-63.

Thank you.

I-27.

I have to hand it to you.

You've got a real

talent in causing

car crashes.

You're smashed.

No, Im serious.

You should take a bow.

I mean, two, two fatal

crashes and Mr. Smolensky.

You're amazing.

I mean it.

You--You really are.

Me, I just had a hand

in one crash and it's

totally f***ed me up.

Oh, yeah, thanks for

the alibi, huh, Larry?

Sure. No problem, bro.

I--I just left him.

Gene.

I-I went back.

He-he's--

Where's mom?

Bingo.

Bingo.

I can't handle things

the way you do, Billy.

How do you do it?

How do you not

feel anything?

I feel things.

Im sorry.

Im sorry--

It's not your fault.

Katrina's not here.

I know.

Im sorry about

the insurance.

I think my mom

was a bulldozer

in a past life.

Do you have

any bandages?

B-3.

Excuse me, is there

a Gloria Conway here?

Uh, yeah, that

would be me.

You have a phone call.

That would be her.

Follow me.

It's out the back.

That would be me again.

G-50. Five-oh.

Gene used to be the

center of the universe.

He still has

a big pull.

I tried really hard

to forget about, you know,

everything that's happened.

It's just--

I don't think we

should hang out anymore.

My mother had a full

grown cow when I told

her what we did.

Thanks.

What about Katrina?

Do you like her?

I guess.

Hanging out with you

was like getting

Gene back. It was.

It was-it was better.

It was great,

until everything

went sh*t shaped.

Doug, Im not exactly

a lucky charm.

Someone's here.

Oh, sh*t.

It's my mother.

You're not supposed

to be here.

Quick, hide.

Hurry up.

Did we just go

to a bingo parlor,

or did I have

an acid flashback?

Just say no to drugs.

You're home early.

Gene Conway died.

Oh. Oh.

Oh, sweetheart,

it's okay.

It's okay.

This was a long

time coming.

It's for the best.

It's a pity they couldn't

have buried him all

those years ago.

It would have saved

a lot of grief.

I could have sworn

that picture of you two

was in your bedroom.

Maybe you should

go look for it.

You never know what's

waiting around the corner.

It could be an accident,

or it might be

a wonderful surprise.

Larry, for instance,

announced that he and

Katrina were going steady.

You could have knocked

Billy over with a

dessert spoon.

Gloria hugged

Douglas Post

at the funeral.

That was a big

dessert spoon moment.

Connie had a

ten-pound baby girl

named Cassandra Constance

Conway-Kellywood.

Ray was overjoyed.

And Billy's surprise

is yet to come.

I have only one

regret in my life,

Buster Bill.

Im sorry you had

to see Mr. Smolensky

die in that awful way.

You couldn't

have helped that.

It was an accident.

I could have

prevented it.

But more to the point,

you couldn't have.

Nor could you

have saved him.

Some things are

just meant to be,

sad as they are.

We all pay for

our mistakes, Billy.

You paid for yours

long before you made them.

Now you gotta

stop paying.

See what the world

has to offer.

What am I gonna

do with it?

Older brother

Restless soul

Lie down

Lie for a while with

Your ear against the earth

And you'll hear

Your sister sleep talking

Say your hair is long

But not long enough

To reach

Home to me

But y our beard

Someday might be

And she'll wake up

Ina cold sweat on

The floor

Next to a family

Portrait drawn when

You were four

And beside a jar

Of two cent coins that

Are no good no more

She'll lay it aside

Older father Weary

Soul you'll drive

Over your life once

More before you die

Since our grandma

Passed away

You've waited for

Forever and a day

Just to die

And someday soon

You will die

It was the only

Woman you ever loved

That got burnt

By the sun too often

When she was young

And the cancer spread

And it ran into her

Body and her blood

And there's nothing

you can do about it now

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