Action Page #3

an aIibi to attack you

with savage frenzy.

It must be a doubIe sort

of vioIence.

- Understand ?

- I will obey, my Iord.

Sh*t. The gIass !

SiIence ! Camera. Ready !

''The Tree of SIuts'',

Stop ! Action !

I shouId say it.

Otherwise, the production

gets angry with me.

- I have an idea.

- What is it ?

- Did they hurt you yesterday ?

- I don't know.

You were paIe. Your knees were

trembIing and your gaze was bIank.

As if you'd gotten out of hell

and were about to tell me

its horrors.

My OpheIia.

We are in it up to our ears.

I envy your detachment.

You're either a lunatic

or an angeI.

Good, Woody, great idea !

I was inspired by Sade.

He wrote a Iot on the topic.

- Who ?

- The Marquis de Sade.

Doris, there is a variation.

Before the rape,

I want to see you...

evacuate.

I want you to free yourseIf.

You go into the john and do it.

That's where it is done.

Come on !

Come on. Measure the fire.

SiIence ! This is a serious john,

no bullshit.

Ready ? Doris, are you ready ?

Remember to be naturaI.

The sequence will be unforgettabIe.

Me, the most desoIate,

the most forIorn among women.

I who have tasted honey,

the music of his Iove words,

reduced to hearing

his sovereign word,

Iike a sweet bell

that because of a crack

- gives a faIse ring.

- Stop ! The scene sounds faIse.

- Let us hear some noises.

- It's not possibIe.

- It isn't possibIe ?

- I don't have to go.

I couId pretend, recite the scene.

No, the scene wouId be shitty !

In fact !

The pubIic is not interested

in your efforts as an actress.

- I'm sorry.

- You must. It must not be fake.

Without reaI sh*t,

the sequence Iacks in credibiIity.

Visconti used reaI ShaIimar

in his bottIes of perfume.

Forget ShaIimar.

We need the smell of sh*t here !

All of you get to work !

I am the one pulling out the money !

- You, get down.

- At the first sign, we shoot.

Dear, smoke this.

To sh*t or not to sh*t,

that is the question.

Is it more nobIe to put up

with coIics and stomach aches,

or reIax and sh*t, sh*t !

- There. Action !

- Stop ! I say action !

- It wasn't her.

- The first who farts, I fine.

- Except you who are professionaI.

- Doris...

- Nothing yet ?

- It was not in the contract !

The director got this idea

just a IittIe whiIe ago.

I couIdn't imagine.

- It makes my head dizzy.

- Is it coming ?

That's it. Good girI.

She's crying for the effort.

Good girI.

She's crying and that's all.

She's being tragic.

- We'll never get out of this.

- What's to come out, isn't.

What are you Iaughing about ?

We're Iosing my money !

What can I do ?

My grandfather said,

''When the hoIe doesn't open,

it's time for cod Iiver oiI.''

Shithead !

Everest, the souI-shitter.

Come on !

I'll show you.

Sh*t, dear.

Sh*t, sh*t.

One... And again one.

Here.

- What is it ?

- CoId orange juice. It will heIp.

A horse's dose.

What did you give me ?

What did you give me ?

It shouId be easy.

These peopIe make you sh*t.

Just Iook at them.

Look at them, Doris.

AIright. Look at us, but sh*t.

We'll settIe accounts Iater.

BeautifuI expression of fear.

- There !

- What did you give me ?

Back to our combat positions.

- Camera.

- SiIence. We're shitting.

Stop !

Stop ! Leave me aIone ! No !

Leave me aIone !

Leave me aIone ! Stop !

- He's crazy.

- Wait for me, my Iord !

I beIong to you. Wait for me.

I won't be a burden to you.

Here I am for you,

my sweet Iord.

He broke my nose.

- This is a fantastic scene.

- Hey, Majesty !

If you wanted to fiIm shits,

now you have three in the john.

Very regaI.

Bruno, wait !

Wait !

Are you stiII feeIing a tempest ?

I feeI Iike I have vipers

in my insides.

As a chiId I had tapeworm,

but it didn't bother me.

Bruno, Iet's stop a moment.

No, it's too disgusting.

Come on.

- Hi.

- Hi.

- What is that ?

- The teeth of my dead grandmother.

- And that ?

- The Ieg of my dead grandfather.

Her name is Bessy.

She aIready had the measIes.

I don't feeI good.

What did those pigs give me ?

- Why is your girIfriend crying ?

- She's not my girIfriend.

She has a stomach ache.

Even my sister Anne

aIways had a stomach ache

before throwing her IittIe ones

in the john.

- Your sister's name is Anne ?

- It was. She's dead.

- Her boyfriend shot her.

- At Ieast one !

I think you wiII die too.

- Why do you think ?

- Mom moved about Iike her

when Dad poisoned her

with the rat poisioning.

Then she died.

What a nice hat.

WiII you give it to me ?

I'm going to give Bessy miIk.

Bye.

Bruno.

Bruno, you think one day

aII the Earth will be Iike this ?

SureIy.

Then we better get used to it.

Let's stop !

The two of us surviving.

''2005 Trash Odyssey''.

A fantastic fiIm.

Don't taIk about it to anyone.

I can't stand it anymore.

I feeI sick. I can't stand it.

- Then do it.

- I can't, outside.

Wait. Nothing is missing here.

God, it hurts !

Come on.

- There's no key. I'll stand here.

- Good.

When you have a commode,

you can buiId a house around it.

It's the most important piece,

a cuIturaI conquest.

The rest comes by itseIf.

There's everything here.

OpheIia, you've been in the john

two hours. We must go to the party.

You know the managing director is

there. I have to think of my career.

HamIet, since you stopped doubting,

you've become a sociaI cIimber.

You act Iike a dreamer, but desire

a comfortabIe house and a man.

- I want to give you that.

- My Iord,

the awkward duck has become

a swallow.

I taIk Iike OpheIia

because I don't know how to taIk.

I don't know anything.

Nobody taIks to me

to say anything.

They give me orders,

and just give me signaIs.

Go right, don't waIk here, go there,

watch out for falling rocks.

So if they faII on your head

they can say, ''We toId you !''

- Who are you ?

- And who are you ?

I can't get you.

Is that all ? If you want to come

to bed with me, it's no probIem.

I meant get you, as a type.

Are you crazy or a Iunatic ?

Don't be interested in me.

- Go to a convent.

- You go in the kitchen and cook.

Remember I am a reaI person. Come

back with your feet on the ground.

I am, even if I have become

a swallow, I don't know how to fIy.

Hide.

Get down.

Keep down !

Down !

- What is that ?

- A piece of junk.

It doesn't move.

- But it is breathing.

- SureIy it's not a man.

He raised his head.

They threw him away Iike

an oId chamber pot.

Where is your handIe ?

I threw it away

so it is harder to get me.

It must be a mouse.

They become big here.

- You are oId and still joke.

- It's not a mistake to be oId.

If you wasted your Iife, it is.

I think you wasted it.

Stop !

I didn't waste anything

and can show it.

Good !

What wouId you do if

I gave it to you ?

Yes. What wouId you do ?

I'd take it.

- How much money wouId you give ?

- 40 pennies. Take it or Ieave it.

eIse in those ripped pockets ?

I didn't go to the bank.

Shithead ! You have what

you are worth. 40 pennies !

I can't be a shithead and escaped

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