Adaptation. Page #2

Screenwriting seminars

are bullshit.

In theory, I agree with you.

But this one's different.

This one's highly regarded

in the industry.

Donald, don't say "industry."

I'm sorry. I forgot.

Charles, this guy

knows screenwriting.

People come from all over

to study with him.

I'll pay you back as soon as I...

Let me explain something.

Anybody who says he's got "the answer"

will attract desperate people,

be it in the world of religion...

I need to lie down

while you explain this.

Sorry. I apologize.

Okay, go ahead.

So...

Sorry. Okay. Go.

There are no rules, Donald.

And anybody who says there are

is just, you know...

Not rules. Principles.

McKee writes that a rule says,

"You must do it this way."

A principle says, "This works and

has through all remembered time."

The script I'm starting,

it's about flowers.

Oh.

Nobody's ever done a movie

about flowers before.

So there are no guidelines.

What about Flowers for Algernon?

Well, that's not about flowers.

And it's not a movie.

I'm sorry.

I never saw it.

How...? Okay, keep going.

Look, my point is that

those teachers are dangerous

if your goal is to do

something new.

A writer should always have that goal.

Writing is a journey into the unknown.

It's not building, you know,

one of your model airplanes.

McKee is a former

Fulbright Scholar, Charles.

Are you a former

Fulbright Scholar?

Say something. I dragged her here,

and now I'm not saying anything.

Make her laugh.

Say something funny.

I hate parties, Amelia.

Why did we come here?

Because we're hip, young

trendsetters on the make?

More like old losers

sitting on the floor, maybe.

Jesus, Charlie.

Heh, heh, heh.

Speak for yourself. Okay...

Charlie, we're gonna fix you up.

We're gonna solve the whole Charlie

Kaufman mess for once and for all.

Okay.

Okay, let me see.

What do you need?

What, what, what?

Well, I'm glad you took

the orchid script.

I think it will be good for you

to get out of your head.

It'll ground you to think about the

bigger picture, about nature and stuff.

I still can't believe

they gave me that job.

I mean, after that lunch.

I was sweating insanely.

I was ranting. I was a mess.

You were nervous

because she was pretty.

How do you know she was pretty?

After eight months of knowing you,

I think I get what makes you sweat.

Well, whatever.

Well, moving on, what next?

You need a new getup.

This whole flannel-shirt thing,

it's not really doing anything

for you anymore.

Thanks for coming out

with me tonight, Amelia.

To begin.

To begin.

How to start?

I'm hungry.

I should get coffee.

Coffee would help me think.

But I should write something first,

then reward myself with coffee.

Coffee and a muffin. Okay,

so I need to establish the themes.

Maybe banana-nut.

That's a good muffin.

Orchid hunting is

a mortal occupation.

Victorian-era orchid hunter

William Arnold

drowned on

a collecting expedition.

Osmers vanished without a trace

in Asia.

Augustus Margary survived toothache,

rheumatism, pleurisy and dysentery,

only to be murdered when

he completed his mission

and traveled beyond Bhamo.

Laroche loved orchids, but I...

I came to believe he loved the

difficulty and fatality of getting them

almost as much as he loved

the orchids themselves.

I've been a professional

horticulturist for like 12 years.

Uh, I owned my own plant nursery,

which was destroyed by the hurricane.

I'm a professional

plant lecturer.

I've given over, like, 60 lectures

on the cultivation of plants.

I'm a published author,

both in magazine and book form.

And I have extensive experience

with orchids

and the asexual micropropagation

of orchids under aseptic cultures.

That's laboratory work.

It's not at all like your nursery work.

Um...

I'm probably

the smartest person I know.

Thank you.

You're very welcome.

Mr. Laroche?

I'm Susan Orlean.

I'm a writer for The New Yorker.

It's a magazine that...

I'm familiar with

The New Yorker.

"The New Yorker?

Yes, The New Yorker." Right?

That's right.

I'm very interested in doing a piece

on your situation here, and...

Oh, yeah? Yeah.

You wanna put this in?

I don't care what goes on here.

I'm right, and I'll take it all the way

to Supreme Court.

Because that judge

can screw herself.

That for real would go in?

Absolutely.

Hmm.

We open on State Road 29.

A battered white van speeds along,

making a sharp, skidding right

into the Fakahatchee Strand

State Preserve.

The driver of the van is

a skinny man with no front teeth.

This is John Laroche.

I need a break.

I loved the Sibelius violin concerto.

Yeah, me too. It was great.

The end was a little weird, but...

Oh, no! God, it was passionate.

It was exultant.

The soloist was amazing.

Such beautiful tones. So precise.

God, it blows my mind.

I wish I could play like that.

You do.

Oh, Charlie. I don't.

I'm mediocre at best.

Well, I love listening to you play.

Oh, thanks, Charlie.

Here we are.

So, uh...

What are you up to now, then?

Oh, um, I should

probably get to bed.

I have a lot of work

to do tomorrow.

Well, good night, then.

I would stay out.

It's just that I've been struggling

on the script right now.

Been thinking about it too small,

writing it like a story about Laroche.

That's not enough. I mean,

I wanted to write about flowers.

Anyway, I can't figure it out, and I

haven't been sleeping well lately,

so I thought I should get home

and try to get a good night's sleep,

you know. Start fresh in the morning.

Hm.

Otherwise, I'd stay out.

I understand. I hope you

figure it out, Charlie. I really do.

Thanks. Thanks for coming out

with me and everything.

Sure, it was fun.

So I have to go to Santa Barbara next

weekend for this orchid show up there.

I thought maybe you could come.

No, I...

I don't think I can make it

next weekend.

I don't think I can.

I've got something. Sorry.

Okay.

So, well, okay, then.

So good night, then.

Good night, Charlie.

- Why didn't I go in?

- I'm such a chicken.

I'm such an idiot. I should have

kissed her. I've blown it.

I should go and knock

on her door right now and kiss her.

It would be romantic. Something

we could someday tell our kids.

I'm gonna do that right now.

Hi.

Hey.

Thanks for picking me up.

This van's a piece of sh*t.

But when I hit the jackpot,

I'll buy myself an awesome car.

Hey, what are you driving?

Um, it's... Well, it's a rental.

It's a Lumina.

Awesome.

I think I'll get one of those too.

Here we go.

Where do these people

learn to drive, huh? Ha, ha!

The world's insane.

So I was impressed to hear

how accomplished you are

in horticulture.

The thing you gotta know is,

my whole life is looking for

a goddamn profitable plant, see?

And that's the ghost.

Why the ghost orchid?

Well, the sucker's rare.

You know?

Mm-hm.

And I'm the only one in the world

who knows how to cultivate it.

Mmm.

See, the idea was, get the Indians

to pull it from the swamp.

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