Adaptation. Page #3

I researched it. Long as I don't touch

the plant, Florida can't touch us.

And I stop future poaching by making the

flowers readily available in stores.

I'm a hero, the flowers are saved,

Laroche and nature win.

Oh. Great.

Did you get that last part?

Uh, yeah, I sure did.

Orchids are the sexiest

flowers on earth.

The name orchid derives from the

Latin orchis, which means testicle.

Hey, Charles.

I pitched my screenplay to Mom.

Don't say "pitch."

Sorry.

Anyway, she said it was Silence

of the Lambs meets Psycho.

Maybe you guys could collaborate.

I hear Mom's good with structure.

So how come Amelia doesn't

come around anymore?

Did you put the moves on her

or something?

Hi.

I'm looking for John Laroche.

Hi. Hi.

I'm writing an article on John,

and I stopped by.

Hoped I could see him.

John's not here.

Oh.

Well, you were at the swamp

with him, weren't you?

Saw you at the courthouse,

that's how I know.

I'm Matthew Osceola.

Susan Orlean. Nice to meet you.

Maybe I could talk to you

for a second.

I'm just trying to get a feel

for the whole operation...

You have very beautiful hair.

Thank you very much.

Thank you. I just...

I just washed it this morning.

I just used a new conditioner.

I can see your sadness.

It's lovely.

Well, I'm just tired, that's all.

That's my problem.

So maybe we could chat

a little bit,

and I could get some background...

I'm not going to talk to you much.

It's not personal.

It's the Indian way.

Angraecum sesquipedale.

Beauty! God!

Darwin wrote about this one.

Charles Darwin?

Evolution guy? Hello?

You see that nectary down there?

Darwin hypothesized a moth

with a nose 12 inches long

to pollinate it.

Everyone thought he was a loon.

Then, sure enough,

they found this moth

with a 12-inch proboscis.

"Proboscis" means nose, by the way.

I know what it means.

Hey, let's not get off the subject.

This isn't a pissing contest.

The point is,

what's so wonderful

is that all these flowers

have a specific relationship

with the insect

that pollinates it.

There's a certain orchid

looks exactly like a certain insect.

So the insect is drawn

to this flower,

its double, its soul mate,

and wants nothing more

than to make love to it.

After the insect flies off,

it spots another soul-mate flower

and makes love to it, pollinating it.

And neither the flower nor the insect

will ever understand

the significance

of their lovemaking.

How could they know that because

of their little dance, the world lives?

But it does.

By simply doing

what they're designed to do

something large

and magnificent happens.

In this sense, they show us

how to live.

How the only barometer

you have is your heart.

How when you spot your flower,

you can't let anything get in your way.

He's really quite a character.

No front teeth.

Doesn't seem to bother him at all.

Why doesn't he get them fixed?

It seems almost sociopathic

to make everybody look at that.

Yeah, but he gives

a great blowj*b, honey.

He is a fascinating character,

though.

Sounds like a gold mine, Sue.

It could be. I don't know,

you know? He's, uh...

He lives with his dad, he's obsessed

with his dead mother, and...

He wears his sunglasses on a little

dingle-dangle around his neck.

Loving it.

Tell them about the van.

Okay, the van. The van.

I can't tell about the van. I gotta pee.

No, tell us about the van.

- It's amazing. It's...

- What's in it?

You did it in the van.

Shut up.

David, you tell... Don't you tell them.

Don't tell them.

Okay, the van.

David!

This van was filled

with junk...

Shut up!

- Potting soil. Shovels.

- Food wrappers. Fertilizer.

Susie said she hoped

it was fertilizer, anyway.

Said she couldn't be sure.

Laroche had a certain aromatic look about him.

And she said...

She said perhaps his obsessiveness

didn't leave room in his schedule

for personal hygiene.

Maybe the orchids got

all the available water.

I wanted to want something as much

as people wanted these plants.

But...

it isn't part of my constitution.

I suppose I do have

one unembarrassed passion.

I wanna know what it feels like to care

about something passionately.

"Should one be lucky enough

to see a ghost orchid,

all else will seem eclipsed."

If the ghost orchid

was really a phantom,

it was such a bewitching one that

it could seduce people to pursue it

year after year

and mile after miserable mile.

If it was a real flower,

I wanted to see one.

The reason wasn't that I love orchids.

I don't even especially like orchids.

What I wanted

was to see this thing

that people were drawn to

in such a singular and powerful way.

So how many turtles

did you end up collecting?

Oh, I lost interest right after that.

Oh.

I dropped turtles when I fell

in love with Ice Age fossils.

Collected the sh*t out of them.

Fossils were the only thing that made

sense to me in this f***ed-up world.

I ditched fossils

for resilvering old mirrors.

My mom and I

had the largest collection

of 19th-century Dutch mirrors

on the planet.

Perhaps you read about us.

Mirror World, October '88?

I got a copy here somewhere.

I guess I'd just like to know

how you can detach from something

that you've invested

so much of your soul in.

I mean, didn't you ever

miss turtles?

The only thing that made

your 10-year-old life worth living?

Look, I'll tell you a story, all right?

I once fell deeply, you know,

profoundly in love with tropical fish.

I had 60 goddamn fish tanks

in my house.

I'd skin-dive to find

just the right ones.

Anisotremus virginicus, Holacanthus

ciliaris, Chaetodon capistratus.

You name it.

Then one day I say, "F*** fish."

I renounce fish. I vow never

to set foot in that ocean again.

That's how much "f*** fish."

That was 17 years ago, and I have

never since stuck a toe in that ocean.

And I love the ocean.

But why?

Done with fish.

If you'd really loved something,

wouldn't a little bit of it linger?

Evidently Laroche's finishes

were downright and absolute.

He just moved on.

I sometimes wished

I could do the same.

Good afternoon.

So, what looks good today?

The key lime pie, please.

A small slice.

And a coffee, please.

Skim milk, please.

Orchids. I love orchids.

Oh, cool. That's... Heh.

Well, I'll be right back

with your pie.

I'm so excited. I've always wanted

to come to an orchid show.

I think these flowers are so sexy.

Let's see what's around back.

What?

You wanna hear my pitch?

Go away, goddamn it.

You know, I'm just trying

to do something.

Hey, thanks a lot, buddy.

Cool.

Okay, there's this

serial killer, right?

Well, no, wait.

And he's being hunted by a cop.

And he's taunting the cop, right?

Sending clues who his next victim is.

He's already holding her

hostage in his basement.

So the cop gets obsessed

with figuring out her identity

and in the process

falls in love with her.

Even though he's never even

met her. She becomes like...

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