Addams Family Values Page #6

"We looked,

and we saw him--

the cat in the hat."

Are you enjoying this?

To think...

A child of mine.

"I know it is wet,

"and the sun is not sunny,

"but we can have

lots of good fun,

that is funny."

Oh, no.

He lives.

Come on! It's Gomez!

~ swing low ~

~ sweet chariot ~

~ coming for

to carry me home ~

~ swing low ~~.

My baby is ill,

and my husband

is dying.

Oh, mama,

what shall I do?

Well, you have

a black dress.

Gomez!

- Fester!

- Fester!

Fester? Where is fester?

He's right here,

mon Cher.

It's me, Gomez.

I've tried to be

someone I'm not.

I live in shame...

And the suburbs!

But you belong to Debbie.

You're Debbie's love toy.

You are Mr. Debbie!

I am an Addams!

Fester!

Uncle fester!

Children!

You sent us to camp.

They made us sing.

My own dear family.

How I've missed you all.

Our whole family--

together at last.

Three generations...

Above ground.

In-laws!

I don't want

to hurt anybody.

I don't enjoy

hurting anybody.

I don't like guns or bombs

or electric chairs,

but sometimes

people just won't listen,

and so I have to use

persuasion...

And slides.

My parents--

Sharon and Dave.

Generous, doting...

Or were they?

All I ever wanted

was a ballerina Barbie

in her pretty pink tutu.

My birthday.

I was 10,

and do you know

what they got me?

Malibu Barbie.

Malibu Barbie.

The nightmare.

The nerve.

That's not

what I wanted.

That's not who I was.

I was a ballerina--

graceful, delicate.

They had to go.

My first husband,

the heart surgeon.

All day long,

coronaries, transplants.

What about your needs?

"Sorry about dinner, Deb.

The pope has a cold."

An axe.

That takes me back.

Husband number two--

the senator.

He loved his state.

He loved his country.

What about Debbie?

"Sorry, Debbie.

No Mercedes this year.

We have to set an example."

Oh, yeah? Set this!

My latest husband.

My late husband fester.

The fool.

The corpse.

And his adorable family.

You took me in.

You accepted me.

But did any of you love me?

Really love me?

Hands.

So I--I killed.

So I maimed.

So I destroyed one

innocent life after another.

Aren't I a human being?

Don't I yearn and...

Ache and shop?

Don't I deserve love...

And jewelry?

Adieu, mon Cher.

Adios, Cara Mia.

Debbie, let them go.

Take me and my money.

For what I've done,

I deserve to die.

Sorry.

[Whistling]

Goodbye, everybody.

Wish me luck.

- Good luck.

- Good luck.

A birthday party!

What a treat!

And to think I might

have missed all this.

What was I thinking of?

Physical pleasure.

Oh...

Uncle fester,

do you miss Debbie?

Well, sometimes,

late at night.

I remember

how she'd turn to me

and say "Jesus, fester,

go back to your room."

Yoo-hoo!

Are we late?

[Chattering]

Not at all.

We'rejust getting started.

I hope no one minds.

We brought along a guest.

This is our new nanny--

dementia.

Oh...

Dementia.

What a beautiful name.

It means insanity.

My name's fester.

It means to rot.

A toast.

To the glorious

mysteries of life.

To all that binds

a family as one.

To mirth, to merriment,

to manslaughter.

- Hear, hear.

- [Chattering]

To dear friends.

[Chattering]

[Chattering]

To new friends.

To youth.

How do I look?

Disturbing.

To passion.

To paradise.

To pain.

Tonight.

Ha ha! Make way

for the birthday boy!

Thing, will you

do the honors?

[Playing "Happy Birthday"]

Your family

is really interesting.

Your parents are so

involved with each other.

Wednesday, do you think,

like, maybe someday

you might want to get

married and have kids?

No.

But what if you met

just the right man

who worshipped

and adored you,

who'd do anything

for you,

who'd be

your devoted slave?

What would you do?

I'd pity him.

Poor Debbie.

She was sick.

She wasn't sick.

She was sloppy.

What do you mean?

If I wanted to kill my husband,

I'd do it, and I wouldn't get caught.

How?

I'd scare him to death.

No, you wouldn't.

We're all very sorry, Debbie.

We wish you only the best.

Aah! Aah!

Aah!

~ whoomp! Addams family ~

~ there it is ~

~ whoomp!

The Addams family ~

~ come on, come on ~

~ whoomp! Addams family ~

~ there it is ~

~ whoomp!

The Addams family ~

~ yeah, yo, dig it ~

~ back again,

the Addams family ~

~ new baby in the house

makes three ~

~ Wednesday, pugsley,

lurch, you ring it ~

~ fester, grandmama,

and thing ~

~ wait, can't forget

cousin ltt ~

~ tag team raps

another party hit ~

~ it's the Addams family

movie thing ~

~ Gomez, morticia,

come on, sing ~

~ whoomp! Addams family ~

~ there it is ~

~ whoomp!

The Addams family ~

~ come on, come on ~

~ whoomp! Addams family ~

~ there it is ~

~ whoomp!

The Addams family ~

~ let me tell you,

it's the a-d-d-a-m-s ~

~ the Addams family,

y'all, yes, yes ~

~ they're creepy, kooky,

mysterious, spooky ~

~ as loony as can be

when you see the movie ~

~ it goes on and on,

the madness won't stop ~

~ tick to the tock

around the clock ~

~ tag team kicks the floor,

really, though ~

~ with the Addams family,

so here we go ~

~ whoomp! Addams family ~

~ there it is ~

~ whoomp!

The Addams family ~

~ hey, there it is ~

~ whoomp! Addams family ~

~ there it is ~

~ whoomp!

The Addams family ~

~ come on, come on,

come on, come on ~

~ whoomp! Family ~

~ whoomp! Family, whoa ~

~ whoomp! Family, whoa ~

~ the Addams family ~

~ whoomp! Family, whoa ~

~ whoomp! Family, whoa ~

~ whoomp! Family, whoa ~

~ the Addams family ~

~ something's strange,

something's funny ~

~ nanny's got a plot

to get the family money ~

~ makes fester

fall for her ~

~ thing gets wise,

spreads the word ~

~ the family

comes to fester's aid ~

~ the plot is foiled,

no one gets paid ~

~ it's the Addams family

runnin' things ~

~ get back

while tag team swings ~

~ whoomp! Addams family ~

~ there it is ~

~ whoomp!

The Addams family ~

~ yeah, come on, come on ~

~ whoomp! Addams family ~

~ there it is ~

~ whoomp!

The Addams family ~

~ yeah, give it to me ~

~ it's a family thing,

and it won't quit ~

~ they keep it together,

y'all, and that's it ~

~ they're not ordinary,

just strange ~

~ some say loco,

insane to the brain ~

~ but you know

that you love 'em ~

~ in a class

by theirselves ~

~ none below,

none above 'em ~

~ it ain't nothing

to be ashamed of~

~ so give love to the folks

who go by the name of~

~ whoomp! Addams family ~

~ there it is ~

~ whoomp!

The Addams family ~

~ yeah ~

~ whoomp! Addams family ~

~ there it is ~

~ whoomp!

The Addams family ~

~ ooh-ee ~

~ the Addams family theme,

I'm gonna kick it ~

~ step to the mic

like cube and get with it ~

~ props to the number one

family of horror ~

~ this song's for the movie

and the dance floor ~

~ tag team

always delivers the funk ~

~ from the old school,

with the bump for the trunk ~

~ and it umps,

with big bass on the low ~

~ like my homey all said ~

~ you don't hear me, though ~

~ whoomp! Addams family ~

~ there it is ~

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