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Addams Family Values Page #5
- PG-13
- Year:
- 1993
- 94 min
- 3,235 Views
We're going to make
an example.
We are going to show
that anyone,
no matter how odd
or pale or chubby,
can still have
a darn good time.
Whether they
like it or not.
What are you going to do?
Yes, indeedy,
just the ticket.
Bambi.
Lassie come home.
The little mermaid.
Stop it.
He's only a child.
Don't worry.
We're getting out of here.
But...
It's Disney.
Yes.
~ with songs they have sung ~
~ for a thousand years... ~~
~ and they knew that it was
much more than a hunch ~
~ that this group must
somehow form a family ~
~ that's the way we all
became the bradybunch... ~~
~ you're always a day ~
~ a-way ~~.
Well...
Good evening.
Is there anything
you'd like to say to everyone?
Yes.
And just what
might that be?
I'm not perky.
That's for damn sure.
But I want to be.
You do?
I want to smile
and sing and dance
and be pocahontas
in Gary's vision.
Oh, darling,
do you really mean it?
- [Gasps]
- [Gasps]
Isn't she pretty?
She's scaring me!
Oh, gar.
Yeah.
Aah!
Stay back!
He's very sick.
My baby!
Lumbar, dison...
Pox and thither,
curad, brattle,
bone and brine!
[Laughing]
Bone and brine!
[Coos]
Well, he's stubborn.
It works on cats.
- What are we going to do?
- Is it hopeless?
Here it is.
"Chapter 18.
Infant possessions."
He's possessed?
"Warning signs--
"severe alterations
in appearance and personality.
Such alterations
can become permanent."
Permanent?
Those golden curls?
Those rosy cheeks?
That smile?
"These terrifying changes
"are most often the result
Separations--"
you mean...
Fester!
Bingo! This kid knows
that something is not
right around here.
we're talking dimples.
Not in this house.
He could stay this way
for years. Forever.
He could become...
A lawyer...
I won't listen!
An orthodontist...
Mama, stop!
President.
[Pubert laughs]
Please! I beg you!
Take me!
Each summer we take
this occasion
in American history.
This year, we depict
perhaps the most important day
in our shared past--
the first Thanksgiving!
A day for maize,
the native American
word for corn,
and brotherhood!
So, white meat
and dark meat,
take it away!
[Piano plays]
~ eat us, hey,
it's Thanksgiving day ~
~ eat us,
we make a nice buffet ~
~ we lost the race
with farmer ed ~
~ eat us 'cause
we're good and dead ~
~ white man or red man ~
~ from east, north,
or South ~
~ chop off our legs ~
~ and put 'em
in your mouth ~
~ eat me ~
~ eat me ~
~ we once were pets,
but now we're food ~
~ we won't stay fresh
for very long ~
~ so eat us before
we finish this song ~
~ eat us before
we finish this song ~~
[sobbing]
Thank you.
It was a senseless tragedy.
Ha ha!
[Ticking]
Angel, I'm going out
for just a minute.
I forgot the champagne.
Our three-week anniversary!
I'll go.
No, no.
You're working hard enough.
I'll just put your present
on the table.
Don't peek!
Oh, please, please!
What is it?
Is it string?
You never know.
Uh...
Is it a dog toy?
Just you wait.
It's a bomb.
What?
I know.
Wait for my birthday.
Fester...
Let me look at you.
I want to remember you
just this way.
What do you mean?
Rich. Will you miss me?
But you'll be right back,
won't you?
Of course.
Whoo!
Hoo hoo hoo hoo!
I am so glad we invited
the chippewas
to join us
for this holiday meal.
Remember, these savages
are our guests.
We must not be surprised
at any of their
strange customs.
After all, they have not
had our advantages,
such as fine schools,
libraries full of books,
shampoo.
[Audience chuckles]
How. I am pocahontas,
a chippewa maiden.
An Indian.
Enough said.
And I am running bear,
betrothed to pocahontas.
In the play.
he's Mr. woo-woo.
We have brought a special gift
for this holiday feast.
I am a Turkey. Kill me.
What a thoughtful gift!
Why, you are
as civilized as we,
except we wear shoes
and have last names.
Welcome to our table,
our new primitive friends.
Thank you,
Sarah Miller.
You're the most beautiful person
I've ever seen.
Your hair is the color
of the sun,
your skin is like fresh milk,
Stop! Sit.
Wait.
What?
We cannot break
bread with you.
Huh? Becky,
what's going on?
[Becky]
Wednesday!
You have taken the land
which is
rightfully ours.
Years from now,
my people will be forced
to live in mobile homes
on reservations.
Your people
will wear cardigans
and drink highballs.
We will sell our bracelets
by the roadsides.
You will play golf
and enjoy
hot hors d'oeuvres.
My people will have pain
and degradation.
Your people
will have stick shifts.
The gods of my tribe
have spoken.
They have said,
"do not trust the pilgrims,
especially Sarah Miller."
Gary, she's changing the words.
And for all these reasons,
and burn your village
to the ground.
[Yelling Indian war cry]
Aah!
Children! Campers!
Stop!
You're destroying my text!
Aah! Aah!
He's not a team player.
He needs friends.
- Aah!
- Oh!
- [Gasps]
- [Gasps]
Aah!
Uh, I beg your pardon.
Do something!
[Muffled screams]
[Muffled screams]
[Muffled screams]
~ macho, macho man ~
~ feel my muscles ~
~ I've got to be a macho man ~
~ mucho, mucho, macho, macho ~
~ I got to be a macho ~
~ hey, hey, hey, hey ~.
Hey! Wait!
What time is it, Jorge?
Ah, 6:
25.Oops. Got to go.
- No!
- Wait!
Wait here.
It's my anniversary.
I'll be right back.
Your husband
is a very lucky man.
Don't say that!
~ hey, hey, hey ~
~ hey, macho, macho man ~
~ I got to be a macho man ~~
[ticking]
Cheers.
Oh, no, no.
But, officer...
My husband
was in that house.
[Laughing]
Happy anniversary, Debbie.
Help. Help.
Sweetheart!
Did you get the champagne?
Freeze!
Pookie?
I tried to make it
look like an accident.
I tried to give you some dignity,
but, oh, no, not you.
What are you saying?
I want you dead,
and I want your money.
But--but...
Don't you love me?
Is that a no?
Oh, do I love you.
Look at yourself!
You're a nightmare.
You're the missing link.
You shouldn't be married.
You should be studied.
You're a big,
dumb, weird thing.
could love you.
Yeow!
Thing!
I'll get you!
And your little hand, too!
Aah!
Come on.
No. I have to go back.
For the others.
You're very brave.
You go.
Save your Uncle.
I may never
see you again.
I know.
There are forces
tearing us apart--
Gary, Debbie,
seventh grade.
You won't?
You're too weird.
We'll always have today
and chippewa.
And this.
What is it?
Amanda's retainer.
Cara Mia.
Mon Cher.
[Honking]
Come on!
Move it!
Move out of the way!
"We looked,
"then we saw him
step in on the mat.
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"Addams Family Values" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 30 Aug. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/addams_family_values_2222>.
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