Addicted to Sexting Page #7

a group of people

who are sending the messages

back and forth.

And you don't know, really,

who you're talking to.

I was talking to a guy that I met

at a high school football game.

And we would just text,

like every day.

Like, flirt and whatnot.

And, um, one night,

we were texting,

and like in the middle of the conversation,

I got a random text.

And it was back when I was younger,

so I had the flip phone.

And I opened it, and it's like, "Would you

like to download the picture message?"

And so I was like, yeah.

It totally downloaded,

and I just got a picture

of his dick.

Just a full shot of the dick

and everything.

And I was, like, traumatized

and shocked.

'Cause I was

only in seventh grade,

and it was the first time

I'd ever seen a dick.

And it was just like

gnarly for me.

If you're, say, a teenager

or even a pre-teen,

your brain is not

completely developed

to the sense that you can

make a good decision there.

And so, the kinds of decisions

you make are faulty.

And so, you go ahead and go,

"Oh, I think I'll take this picture

and send it to somebody." Boom.

And it's gone

before you've thought about it.

I really don't think the parents are

getting involved as much as they should.

And I think you have to

start young.

Like, nine and ten, and say, "Look,

just don't set yourself up."

Especially for women.

They're jeopardizing themselves.

I wish younger people would not send sex

pictures of themselves to each other

because of the consequences

they cannot yet understand.

I'm not a parent,

but I used to be a teenager,

and I totally get

the desire to...

"Am I attractive?"

What kind of, you know...

"Am I sexy?"

I mean, 'cause when

you're body's changing,

you wanna know, "Am I sexy?

What is sexy?"

And you're still

discovering that.

My father used to tell me

actions have consequences.

And when it comes

to teenage sexting,

actions have consequences

they can't even contemplate.

They don't have any experience.

It's not that they're not smart.

They just don't know enough to

know what the consequences can be.

Forget Mom being mad at me.

And yet, all the horror stories,

that this picture got spread around,

the girl got slut shamed.

It still doesn't seem

to stop young people.

Because it's not gonna

happen to them,

the magical thinking,

the invincible shield of being 16.

It's gotta sink in

that people don't care,

and they're gonna send those

pictures to whoever they want to.

And that's what sets people up

for bullying.

You really don't want kids under the age of

18 sexting because it's child pornography.

And that's illegal.

And it's also not healthy because they

are not at a developed mental level

to be able to handle it.

And also, kids younger than 18

tend to be much more free about

distributing messages to

everybody, all their friends.

And you really don't want

naked pictures of you,

or nasty talk to get spread

to a bunch of teenagers.

It's probably not a good thing.

If you take a clever picture,

and it's one wrong button,

then you're in big trouble.

I mean, it doesn't even go

to the NSA.

It goes to your Aunt Lorraine

who doesn't like those pictures.

You know, I think that any time we talk

about teenagers or children and sexuality,

it becomes such a taboo subject.

But the reality is,

our sexuality develops

since we were

very small children.

Some people really have difficulty

talking to their children about sex.

And that's a cultural issue

as well.

We need more

support with parents.

We need to teach them how to

talk about sex to their kids.

How to appropriately

give their kids technology.

Are these kids being monitored?

You know, a lot of kids

come home from school

and they sit down on their

computers with no supervision.

They have cellphones.

The parents aren't watching.

And then trouble happens.

Well, especially to the girls.

Um, I don't think the message

is communicated enough

that they can say no.

You know, I think that

the emphasis of abstinence

or abstaining from sexualized

conversation with teenagers and children

only hurts us.

It doesn't help us.

So let's talk about it.

Why are these kids doing it?

Their sex drives are going up.

They're going through adolescence.

The reality is that they're

becoming sexual humans.

How do we deal with that

and teach these kids

responsibility with

what they're doing?

Are their parents monitoring

their phones?

You know, it's up to the parents

to monitor and teach

these children

how to conduct themselves.

That's the issue.

Parents have

called it dangerous,

and new tonight,

a west Michigan sex offender

is speaking out

about the app called Kik.

Wow, I can be

whoever I wanna be.

I can get anybody I want.

I can achieve my sexual

glorification through this app.

That's when I said, "You know what?

I have to stop this."

Please make sure to take

Kik off your kids' phone.

Our thinking is still stuck back

in the pre-Internet days,

that if we say something

to somebody,

if we send

a picture to somebody,

it's private

between the two of us.

It's not private.

In fact, nothing's private.

We have a really sort of uneasy

relationship with this concept of privacy.

It's sort of an exchange here.

We've exchanged privacy

for the ultimate connectivity.

We're willing to give up privacy so that

we can stay connected anywhere, anytime,

to whoever, whenever, whatever.

That's the new Worldwide Web.

If you post something

on Facebook

and you decide five seconds later,

"Oh, I shouldn't have said that,"

and you delete it,

somebody may very well

have copied it down

tweeted it, re-posted it,

shared it, whatever.

And there's no guarantee

of privacy.

In fact, one of the rules in this

world right now is nothing is private.

My advice to a friend sending a naughty

picture would probably be not to do it.

Um, it's not really a good idea,

especially if it's not

someone that you know.

Like, I've only ever sent pictures

of myself in a revealing situation

to my boyfriend. Someone who I know

is not gonna share that with anybody.

She's not gonna share that with

someone she trusts that much.

Don't do it.

It's not worth it.

Don't put your face in it.

'Cause you don't know

where it's gonna go,

and seriously, think about...

And no identifying features.

So if you have very distinctive

hand jewelry, take off the jewelry.

Make sure you're in front of a plain

background that could be any place.

Not, "Oh, my god.

That's Sally's kitchen.

"I totally recognize that magnet her

mother brought her back from Barcelona."

Bad.

Make her send you

the picture first.

Easy as that.

So make sure she sends you

the picture first.

Because if she sends you

the picture first,

and he sent her a dick pic,

and if she tries to go viral

with that,

you got some back up plan.

You go viral with her naked picture.

Easy as that.

Often what happens is

you break up with someone,

the breakup is nasty.

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