Adult Beginners Page #7

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'cause she thought

it was gonna give me scoliosis.

- Yeah?

- Yeah.

Let me see.

- Oh, yeah?

- Mm-hmm.

Are you a doctor now?

How does it feel?

It feels straight enough for me.

- Oh, yeah?

- Mm-hmm.

Well, that's what you get

for working out once a month.

You know Franny's mom?

She asked me about you

for nanny share.

Oh, yeah?

Sounds hot.

Shut up.

That just means she wants

you to take care

of Franny and Teddy together.

One more kid.

More money.

Sh*t.

What?

I mean, she thinks you're really

good with Teddy.

Whatever, you don't have

to do it.

- Don't freak out.

- I'm not freaking out.

It's just, like,

this gig is temporary.

Okay, that's cool.

You know, Armin's band is playing

at Brennan's on Saturday.

The manny has a band.

- Perfect.

- Mm-hmm.

So, would you like

to go together?

Me and you?

Two nannies on a date together?

- Yeah.

- Yeah.

Yeah, that's cool.

Let's do it.

And I might get up there

and sing with him.

- What up?

- Hey.

Uh, have you seen Teddy's

Giraffe-y?

I can't find it anywhere

and he's freaking out.

I can't put him down.

Oh, sh*t.

Yeah. I think we left it

at Georgia's house.

I'll go get it.

Oh, no, no, no.

It's too late.

No. It's fine.

I'm happy to do it.

I literally have nothing

better to do.

Thank you.

It is gonna happen.

They are gonna raise

the billion six.

They're having an IPO

before the end of the year.

Right, we have a sh*t-ton

of homework to do for our guys.

- Yeah?

- Yeah, I'm Jake, Teddy's uncle.

- Georgia's friend.

- Mm-hmm. Okay.

Teddy left his toy giraffe

here earlier today

and now he's having

a Chernobyl-level meltdown...

All right, come in.

So, look, do we have

the personnel, or not?

I mean... you know... let me, um,

let me call you back.

I got a guy here looking

for a giraffe.

Hey, can I use the car tonight?

Where are you going?

Are you going out?

I'm going to Brennan's.

For some f***ing shitty-ass

band.

Wait, okay.

Wait, well, I'll come with you.

You can drink.

I can drive.

Baby, can you stay here

with our sleeping child,

and then I get to go out?

Yeah.

Of course.

Great.

Awesome.

Give me two seconds.

F*** you.

Is this too much?

- Yeah.

- No.

- It's too short.

- No, that looks hot.

- Yeah?

- Put some pants on. Please.

Oh, shut up.

- You look perfect.

- Go on, please.

Oh, come on.

Relax, let's go.

Oh, hot!

You look good.

Bring that back home.

Jesus, enough.

You look like a Tim Burton

creature.

Hey. What was going on

with you and Danny?

What do you mean?

Did he make fun of your shirt

or something?

What's wrong with my shirt?

It's casual chic.

I can't believe how long

you've been here.

Yeah, it's crazy.

No, no, it's, like,

it's flown by.

Do you like your room?

Yeah.

Yeah, it's nice.

Whoo!

Why are we stopping?

'Cause I'm picking up a friend.

Oh, my God, am I on your date?

Sh*t, is that why

you're wearing CK One?

- No.

- I can smell you from here.

It's fine.

Blanca, you remember my sister,

Justine.

- Hi.

- Hey.

Do you always bring

your pregnant sister on dates?

Just when I'm trying

to guarantee I won't get laid.

I'm sorry. I had no idea.

You should just take me home.

No.

No, no, no, no.

You know what?

I love your eye shadow.

- Thanks!

- It's gorgeous.

Oh, thank you.

I love your hair.

Oh, my God, thank you.

It's incredible.

I love your highlights.

- I did these myself.

- Really?

- Yeah. L'Oreal.

- This coat's from Old Navy.

I always wanted to do highlights

but I'm always afraid...

Don't want to miss the band.

You didn't tell me

this was a date, by the way.

This is gonna be a fun time.

You know, I never go out.

Thanks, guys.

We'll be back in ten.

Stay sexy.

That's not

Toad the Wet Sprocket.

I know you think it is.

But it's not.

You want me to get you another

cran and soda?

No, it's cool.

I got it.

Sorry, she just

doesn't get out much.

She's awesome.

So, um, Georgia's dad,

he said that he talked

to you the other day.

Yeah, Teddy left his giraffe,

so I went and grabbed it.

Mm.

So you got a giraffe

and a job offer.

That's cool.

He said you were there

for like an hour,

and that you were

really impressive.

Yeah, it's a finance job,

which is f***ing boring.

It's practically entry-level.

You gonna take it?

Uh, I am.

You know, my cousin needs a job.

Your sister should totally

hire her to take care of Teddy.

What?

I like having sex with you, but

I wasn't planning our wedding.

Okay.

You're not taking us seriously,

are you?

I know.

I just...

I thought that you were

taking me seriously

and it made me feel better

about my life.

Oh.

That's f***ed up.

Hmm.

I'm gonna go play Asteroids.

I'm gonna stay here

and get drunk.

That's cool.

You do that.

See, if you stay here,

you already have a girlfriend.

She's not my girlfriend.

Okay, sensitivo.

I used to sneak in here.

I used to want to be in here

so badly.

How depressing is that?

You know what?

I can't hear you mope anymore.

Okay?

Look.

Pregnant Running Man.

Stretching.

Stretching.

Come on.

You just came to drink?

It's a bar.

Well, we don't have to hang out.

Go and talk to your

not girlfriend.

She'll make you feel better.

I'll feel better when I get back

to my life.

There's a job in the city.

I'm gonna take it.

You're gonna have to find someone

else to take care of Teddy.

Blanca said she know someone,

so...

Just so you're prepared.

Wow.

That's great.

You must be relieved.

Don't make me feel bad.

It's a real job.

I have to take it.

No, no.

It's great.

Could you just get me my juice?

Okay, don't.

Okay?

If you say that you're gonna

get your own juice,

then I believe that

that is what you're gonna do.

Why are you getting like this?

It's just, like, if you want me

to get you juice, just ask.

But don't test me.

I'm not Danny.

Oh, thanks.

Just, like, sleep

with your husband, okay?

I'm not your problem.

What?

I never go out.

F*** you.

- So what, we're leaving?

- Yeah.

Fine. Take the car.

I'll stay somewhere else.

- Right, where are you gonna go?

- I have friends.

Really? Why didn't you stay with

them for the last three months?

I've been here for almost three

months helping you.

But I don't want that

to be my whole life.

Don't worry.

It's not.

People die.

People are born.

But the only reason you stick

around for more than two minutes

is when you need something.

I needed you

to make me feel better.

I had something real,

and now it's gone.

Don't talk to me

about how you had something real

and now it's gone.

No. No, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no.

No one told you you had to

drop out of law school.

She didn't ask you to come home

and take care of her.

Because she didn't have to.

She said she didn't want me

to interrupt my life

just because she was sick.

We didn't even come close

to interrupting your life.

If you had a dog, it would

have interrupted your life

more than Mom dying.

You don't think I wanted

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