Adventureland

God, what a mess

on the ladder of success

Where you take one step

and miss the whole first rung

Dreams unfulfilled graduate unskilled

It beats pickin' cotton

and waitin' to be forgotten

We are the sons of no one

Bastards of young

We are the sons of no one

Bastards of young

The daughters and the sons

Look, I'm going to be paying off

these student loans until, like, 2003.

Hey, you want to get out of here?

-What a rager, huh?

-Yeah. Yeah.

Isn't it weird that all this,

this all happened

at the end of the semester?

You and me.

James...

I don't think I can see you anymore.

You don't... What do you mean?

Sorry.

Women are mercurial, man.

-And you did just start dating last week.

-It was 11 days ago.

You didn't tell her about the Scarlet V,

did you?

-That has nothing to do with it.

-Oh, Christ. Brennan.

-What?

-You did! You promised me!

Look, I don't lie to people

who I care about.

Yes, but you could've just left it

out of the narrative. You know?

You don't want "virgin"

to be your signifier.

He takes one semiotics class,

and I'm supposed to...

Here, drink up.

You need to bed down the next lonely,

plain-looking, insecure depressive

who throws herself at you

and get it over with.

Look, I know most people

have low standards.

I guess I'm... I'm different.

Well, you know what,

we'll find you a girl, all right?

-When we're on the Continent.

-Here's to sexually-permissive cultures!

Yes! Focus on Europe.

It's going to be

a transformative experience.

To the graduate.

Yeah, so I researched

some more youth hostels,

and the median cost

is just a little higher than I expected,

about $7.68 more,

multiplied by the 42 days is $322.56.

Bill, do you want to take this?

Excuse me, can you get me

a refill here? That's an old-fashioned.

So with the $368

I have from Grandpa's trust fund,

plus the $900 you guys

are already giving me, thank you,

I do need an additional $279.11.

James, we didn't want

to spoil your graduation,

but your father has been transferred

to a different department.

Really? Is that... Is that bad?

Yes, we're making less,

considerably less.

Because this trip

was my graduation present, so...

Sweetie, I am so sorry about this trip,

but I'm afraid we just can't afford it.

You could still help me

with rent next year, right?

All right, James,

you're not listening to me.

-Here you go, sir.

-There we go. Thank you very much.

Listen, here's to you, kiddo.

Happy graduation.

Wait. What am I going to do

about grad school?

You know,

Columbia's holding a spot for me.

Well, if you end up deciding

that's what you want to do,

then obviously

you're going to have to get a job.

A summer job?

Summer in Pittsburgh.

-That's f***ing harsh.

-It's a nightmare.

They don't like people like me

where I'm from.

You know, we're romantics.

I read poetry for pleasure, sometimes.

Hey, yeah, well, you know what,

don't worry about it, all right?

You know, with my dad's connections,

we'll get a great deal on an apartment.

And, hey,

I'll float you for the first few months.

-Yeah?

-Yeah.

-Thank you so much, Eric.

-Hey, don't worry about it.

What the hell are you doing?

Our parents are right over...

What, them? They're clueless.

F***, this is good weed.

Speaking of which,

I just want you to know

that you'll be with me in spirit

this summer.

-Hey, put that away.

-Yeah. Take it.

-No.

-Take it.

-Take it!

-Okay.

Look, James,

I know things suck right now, all right?

But look at it this way,

in a few short months,

you'll be with me,

in New York City,

the greatest f***ing city in the world!

Like we always talked about, man.

Living the adventure together.

Quit worrying, Brennan.

That's what the weed is for.

Bill, for God's sakes, pay attention.

All right, I'm just trying to drive.

Here she ever comes now now

She ever comes now now

She ever comes now

Here she ever comes now now

She ever comes now now

She ever comes now

Oh, it looks so good

She's made out of wood

Just look and see

Here she ever comes now now

She ever comes now now

She ever comes now

Here she ever comes now now

She ever comes now now

She ever comes now

Oh, it looks so good

She's made out of wood

Just look and see

I really haven't had that many jobs,

per se,

but here are my academic records

and my extracurricular activities.

I wrote for The Gordian Knot,

it was a literary journal in college.

And in math, I got 770 on the SATs,

so I assume I'd be good

at tabulating checks.

These are the only jobs

you've ever had?

No, no, I also spent several years

taking care of a neighbor's lawn,

the Palmieris.

I have their

letter of recommendation here.

All right. Fill this out.

I'll call you if anything comes up.

Okay.

No, I've never actually

driven an asphalt mixer, per se,

but I did once drive my friend's van

to Wisconsin

on a pretty lengthy road trip.

Yeah, so... Okay, is there any way

I can take a lesson...

They hung up.

What am I supposed to do?

I'm not even qualified for manual labor.

The only place I know I can get a job

is with Frigo.

What, at Adventureland?

You got a concussion on the

teacup ride there when you were 6.

-You can do better, kiddo.

-No, there's nothing.

I majored in Comparative Literature

and Renaissance Studies.

Unless someone needs help

restoring a fresco, I'm screwed.

Oh, for God's sake, Bill.

-Nad attack!

-Frigo, Frigo! Hey, get off of me.

-Brennan, come here.

-Frigo, stop. Okay.

There's the lawn mower, lawn mower,

lawn mower!

-Yes!

-Frigo.

Oh, Brennan!

Right here, sir! Right here, sir!

Have a funtastic time!

I don't have much work experience,

per se, but...

I'm sorry.

Paulette? Come in, Paulette? Bobby?

Bobby?

-Paulette, come in, Paulette?

-Channels.

-You just... You gotta press it.

-Oh, they're gone.

Okay.

This is James,

and he's applying for a games job.

Games! Oh, great, good.

Let's get you set up.

Actually, Bobby, I'd prefer a rides job,

if it's still open.

You look more like a games guy,

plus I've already got out

the games application, so... All right?

Okay. Yeah, no. I just...

My name is Bobby.

Okay, rules. No freebies,

no free turns for your friends,

-no free upgrades, no free food.

-So, just nothing is free here.

Everybody has to pay for everything.

And more importantly,

working in games,

no one ever wins a giant-ass panda.

Yeah, we don't have that many left.

Cool? Can you hand me

a T-shirt, please?

Here, I have a resume. I don't know

if you still want to take a look at it.

James? Am I pronouncing that right?

-James? James?

-Yeah.

Okay, by accepting this T-shirt,

you are...

Hired!

Well, usually I...

-More of a ceremonial thing, the T-shirt.

-Sorry.

Okay, new guy, let's get this over with.

Here we are

at the first of many shitty games.

This one is inexplicably

called The Flighing Dutchman.

Even more inexplicable

is how they decided to spell it.

Hey, Jerry.

$1 buys 5 rings.

If one of the rings lands

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