Adventures in Babysitting

- (LIP-SYNCING)

- Well, he walked up to me

and he asked me if I wanted to dance

He looked kind of nice

And so I said I might take a chance

When he danced he held me tight

And when he walked me

home that night

All the stars were shining bright

And then he kissed me

Each time I saw him

I couldn't wait to see him again

I wanted to let him know

that he was more than a friend

I didn't knowjust what to do

So I whispered, "I love you"

And he said that he loved me too

And then he kissed me

He kissed me in a way

That I've never been kissed before

He kissed me in a way

That I wanna be kissed forever more

I knew that he was mine

So I gave him all the love that I had

And one day he took me home

to meet his mom and his dad

Then he asked me to be his bride

And always be right by his side

I felt so happy I almost cried

And then he kissed me

(CAR HORN HONKING)

Oh, God. He's here.

(DOORBELL RINGING)

(SIGHS NERVOUSLY)

Okay, Chris, just relax.

Tonight is going to be

the greatest night of your life.

Hi.

Hi, Chris.

- I'm a little bit overdressed.

- No, it's just...

I got to cancel.

My little sister got sick

and my parents are going out tonight.

Well, I could come over and help out.

We could make some chicken soup

or something.

No, you don't want to be there.

She's contagious.

I don't want you to get sick.

We'll do the French restaurant thing

next week, okay?

Okay.

When?

I don't know. Friday, Saturday.

I got to get going.

My sister's waiting for me.

You're upset about tonight, aren't you?

No.

Well, yeah, a little.

But I understand.

You know, Chris,

girls like you come along

once in a lifetime.

Whoa...

Contagious.

- Contagious?

- Yeah, that's what he said.

He's lying.

Brenda!

Ugh, God. I don't know why you're

making such a big deal about him.

He's the best thing

that's ever happened to me.

He's the only thing

that's ever happened to you.

That's why we've got to get out.

It's like a Dairy Queen.

You only get one flavor.

(SCOFFS)

You know, I asked you over here

to cheer me up.

I feel worse.

- (TELEPHONE RINGING)

- Oh, Chris, I'm sorry.

I'm just in a really bad mood.

My parents are driving me crazy.

My stepmom is such a pain.

If I don't get out of the house

I'm going to spike her Tab with Drano.

Don't do that.

(KNOCKING AT DOOR)

- Chris? Hi, Brenda.

- BRENDA:
Hi.

- Hi, Mom.

- That was Mrs. Anderson.

She wants to know

if you can babysit for her tonight.

- No. Tell her I can't.

- Why not?

- Wait, aren't we doing something?

- I have to go home.

Because I want to stay home

and be depressed.

Sit for the Andersons.

That'll depress anyone.

(SIGHS) I'm too old to babysit.

(SINGING) Sometimes you know

what you're looking for

Sometimes you don't

make it out the door

This time I know what I'm doing

I'm not fooling

'Cause I just can't stop

Trying to get a hold on you

I just can't stop, I won't give up

Guess what, Brad?

Mom is going to kill you

for wearing skates indoors.

Mom's got to catch me first.

Guess what?

I don't care, winghead.

Mom got Chris to babysit for me.

Chris?

- Oh my...

- (GIGGLING)

- Sara!

- Bye!

Chris.

Chris is coming.

Would you get out of the way?

Chris is coming.

Oh, no.

- Hi, Chris. Come on in.

- Hi.

Thanks a million for this.

- I'm sorry about the short notice.

- No problem.

I'm glad I could help out.

Sara. Sara!

- Did you take my Clearasil again?

- I ran out of brown.

Great. How am I supposed

to cover up my zits?

- You want some orange?

- I can't use paint.

What do you think?

I figure it's my best yet.

I got the sun rays and the cape

and the special helmet...

Great! You wasted all my Clearasil

on another picture of Thor?

- Thor's my hero.

- Thor's a homo.

Is not.

Yeah, he is.

- Is not.

- Thor's a complete homo.

Take it back, Brad.

Take back what you said about Thor.

You are going to kill somebody

with these things.

Take it back, Brad.

Take back what you said about Thor.

No.

If you don't take it back,

I'll tell Chris about all those love poems

you write about her.

All right, Sara. I'm sorry.

- Thor's not a homo.

- Thank you.

- Hi, Chris.

- Hi.

(SARA GIGGLING)

Hi.

Hi. You didn't just hear what my...

- Oh, no.

- Cool.

Boy, you look great. I mean, really.

- Your hair. Your eyes.

- What about them?

They're so well-placed.

- Brad, relax.

- Relax...

Shall I take your coat?

CHRIS:
Oh!

Sorry. I'm sorry.

- I didn't... Sorry.

- Thank you.

Boy, this is a really cool coat.

No way is this from Sears or anything.

- This is way too cool.

- It was my grandpa's.

- He's got great taste.

- He's dead.

Brad, stop fawning all over Chris.

Come on in the kitchen, honey.

- CHRIS:
Yeah, she did.

- We played bridge the other night.

- Oh, really?

- Yeah.

- Hi.

- Hiya, Chris.

- Brad did it.

- Brad, clean it up.

- Sure, Mom.

- All right, Chris.

I got some notes for you.

We're going to be at a reception

at the Associates Center. Here.

Sara is not to wear her skates

in the house.

- Now, Sara, Chris is in charge, okay?

- Sure.

- Can we go to Hagen-Dazs?

- Well, yes.

Yes, but don't go too late, all right?

Brad will stay at his friend Daryl's

tonight, so don't worry about him.

This one is just getting over

a very bad cough...

- It's been almost two weeks.

- So I want her to take some of this.

Give her a spoonful in about an hour

and another before she goes to bed.

Will you stop eating chocolate?

You're going to have zits

all over your face.

(BOTH GIGGLING)

Mom!

Jesus!

- You guys have a good time.

- We should be home by 1:00.

- Okay.

- Take good care of my baby.

I'll guard her with my life.

- Bye.

- Goodbye.

Brad, into the kitchen

and clean up that mess.

(RHYTHMIC KNOCKING AT DOOR)

That's the back door. I'll get it.

Come on, Chris.

Let's go watch some TV.

(KNOCKING CONTINUES)

- Are you coming over or what?

- No, not anymore.

- Chris is here, isn't she?

- No.

Yes, she is.

That's why I'm sleeping here tonight.

- I don't think so.

- Come on.

- Did you get her clothes off yet?

- Don't be crude. Get back.

You fall in love

and suddenly you're a classy guy.

- I have not fallen in love.

- What's she wearing?

- Clothes. Now get out.

- You got to see the new Playboy.

There's this girl in it

and she looks exactly like Chris.

She's got these humongous...

Ugh. Oh, God.

- Who was at the door?

- Stray dog.

What?

Are you going to go to college?

CHRIS:
Huh?

Oh, great!

Thanks, Mom.

- You're going to college?

- No.

- Thank God.

- Calm down.

(PHONE RINGING)

Maybe it's Mike.

Hello?

OPERATOR:
Will you accept

a collect call from Brenda?

Sure.

Chris, it's Brenda.

- Brenda...

- Chris.

Brenda, what's wrong?

- Oh, Chris, I'm in trouble.

- You're always in trouble.

No, I'm really in trouble. I did it.

- You spiked her Tab with Drano?

- No, I ran away from home.

You what? Where are you?

- I'm at the bus station downtown.

- Look, just don't go anywhere.

I can't. I have no money.

Rate this script:2.0 / 2 votes