Adventures in the Sin Bin

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1

DO YOU KNOW:

HOW TO LICK IT?

[ALARM CLOCK]

[MUSIC]

[MUSIC]

CRAP.

[MUSIC]

[MUSIC]

YOU LEFT THE:

WRONG KEY AGAIN.

I NEED THE BIN TOMORROW.

AND THE DRIVER SIDE

WINDOW'S F***ED.

NO, STEVE'S

GOT IT TOMORROW.

YOU JUST HAVE TO

SHIMMY THE WINDOW.

HOW'S WEDNESDAY

FOR YOU?

I REALLY NEED:

IT TOMORROW.

PLUS, I CAN HOOK YOU

WITH THAT KARA GIRL.

LESS PERSIAN-LOOKING

VERSION OF - WHAT'S HER NAME?

BROWN HAIR,

KINDA "TALKS LIKE THIS"?

I HAVE TOO:

MUCH HOMEWORK.

I'LL GET YOU

A TUTOR!

HAVE YOU EVER:

HAD SEX?

-YEAH!

IT'S WONDERFUL!

YEAH!

I GOT A LITTLE BIT IN

WITH TRITON PATTY ONE NIGHT.

BUT SHE WAS DRUNK,

I HAD A COUPLE BEERS.

I'VE FELT GUILTY

EVER SINCE.

PLUS, IF MY GPA

GOES BELOW 4.0,

THEN DEAN THEATARD'S GONNA

TAKE AWAY MY SCHOLARSHIP.

GLENN, I CAN'T.

THEN WHO'S

GOT IT TONIGHT?

I WILL GE BACK TO YOU.

DON'T SELL ME

A SOUP-SANDWICH.

YOU SAID YOU:

HATE SUNDAYS.

I SAID I HATE:

SCHOOL NIGHTS.

YOU DON'T EVEN

LISTEN TO ME.

YOU CAN HAVE:

SUN-DAY.

I WANT SUN-NIGHT.

DON'T RAISE

YOUR VOICE AT ME.

F*** IT.

WHATEVER.

JUST GET ME:

SUN-NIGHT.

LET ME GE BACK TO YOU.

OH!

WE'RE SURROUNDED BY A BUNCH

OF F***IN' THESPIANS.

WHO'S GOING

TO CHURCH SUNDAY?

UH, SANTA CLAUS.

BRING THE SLEIGH

TO THE NORTH POLE.

WHEN?

CHRISTMAS EVE.

LET ME GE BACK TO YOU.

IF I BRING THE BIN

TO THE PARTY TONIGHT,

SAL WILL GIVE:

STEVE HIS SUNDAY.

NOW, COULD YOU DO THURSDAY

INSTEAD OF TONIGHT?

YES, YOU SHOULD COME

TO THE PARTY:

AND YOU SHOULD:

BRING YOUR VAN.

BRIAN, I'M CONCERNED

ABOUT YOU.

HEY, SO I'M TRYING TO MOVE

SOME STUFF AROUND

SO YOU CAN HAVE:

THE BIN TONIGHT.

I WANNA OPEN SOME F***IN'

PRESENTS TONIGHT.

SANTA CLAUS:

WANTS EASTER,

THE PILGRIM WANTS

THANKSGIVING.

OK. OK. OK.

KEEP ME POSTED.

THE BIN'S AT THE PARTY

TONIGHT FOR SAL.

WILL YOU GIVE YOUR

THURSDAY TO GLENN?

WAS THAT SO HARD?

ARE YOU ACTUALLY GOING TO SE IN FOOT IN THE PARTY THIS TIME?

LET ME GE BACK TO YOU.

CONFIRMING SATURDAY

AND THURSDAY.

YOU'RE THE BEST!

STEVE, CONFIRMING SUNDAY,

MONDAY AND FRIDAY.

MERRY CHRISTMAS.

[SCHOOL BELL RINGS]

ONE MORE TARDY:

AND YOU GET "REO".

[MUSIC]

[DOG BARKING]

[MUSIC]

WHEN ARE YOU COMING HOME?

(MOM) I DON'T KNOW,

YOUR AUNT NANCY SAID I CAN

STAY AS LONG AS I NEED TO.

I JUST WORRY:

ABOUT YOU ALL ALONE.

DID YOU GET THA ENVELOPE I LEFT YOU?

YEP.

THANKS FOR THE LUNCH MONEY...

(MOM) I'M SO PROUD OF YOU.

YOU KNOW THAT, RIGHT?

ARE YOU, OK?

(MOM) YEAH I'M FINE.

(MOM) NO, I'VE JUS BEEN CONCERNED

ABOUT YOU BEING ALONE...

AND I DON'T THINK

YOU SHOULD BE DOING THIS

WHAT? I DON'T NEED

A BABYSITTER...

(MOM)

NO, BENNY'S COMING HOME.

HE IS?

[MUSIC]

[MUSIC]

[MUSIC]

IT'S JUST A PARTY...

RELAX...WHEW!

[AMBIENT PARTY SOUNDS]

[AMBIENT PARTY SOUNDS]

[AMBIENT PARTY SOUNDS]

THOUGHT SO.

SHOES OFF.

NEW SALVAGED:

DRIFTWOOD FLOOR.

COPS OUTSIDE?

I DON'T THINK SO.

MATTER OF TIME.

GOD DAMN ANIMALS INSIDE.

DID YOU SEE:

THAT GIRL.

DID I SEE:

WHAT GIRL?

DO I EVEN:

GIVE A SH*T?

IS SAL HERE?

YOUR HEAD LOOKS:

LIKE FRANKENSTEIN.

[MUSIC]

[MUSIC]

[MUSIC]

PIECE OF SHI WON'T START!

JUST "JIGGLE" IT.

I DON'T KNOW WHA THE F*** THAT MEANS!

YEAH!

JUST JIGGLE IT SAL!

YOU SMELL LIKE BOOZE!

THERE'S NO WAY

YOU'RE DRIVING.

''CAUSE SHE LICKED ME!

[STARTS ENGINE]

OH!

UGH!

WHOAH!

[TIRES SCREECH]

[CRASH!]

[SCREAM!]

AH, Fee-yuk....

LET'S GE OUT OF HERE.

[TOW TRUCK BEEP]

(OFFICER TOTSCH) SO WHA HAPPENED WITH THE DEER?

IT JUST RAN:

OUT IN--

INTO THE MIDDLE:

OF THE ROAD.

UH, HUH.

HEY, SAL.

THANKS FOR RUINING THE PARTY,

RIGHT WHEN IT WAS GETTING GOOD.

ALRIGHT, JAGOFFS!

KNOCK IT OFF!

HALLOWINSKI!

BRIAN,

WERE YOU DRINKING?

NO. I SWEAR,

OFFICER TOTSCH.

COUNT BACKWARDS:

FROM TEN.

NINE...

EIGHT...

SEVEN--

YOU MISSED TEN.

I GOING TO ADMINISTER

A BREATHALYZER.

NO, I SWEAR I DIDN' DRINK ANYTHING!

THEN WHERE ARE:

YOUR SHOES?

STOP HYPERVENTILATING.

BRIAN,

SHUT YOUR MOUTH.

0.0? WHAT THE F***

ARE YOU A NARC?

[DOG BARKING]

[CAR ENGINE]

[CAR DOOR OPENS]

HEY THERE.

[CAR DOOR CLOSES]

INTERESTING NIGHT.

HAD A DOMESTIC DISTURBANCE

OVER BY ST. JULIANNA.

GOT OUT OF CONTROL

REAL FAST.

YOUR MA CALLED ME

ABOUT HELPING TO FIX

THE BATHROOM DOOR THIS WEEK.

IT'S OKAY,

I'LL FIX IT.

IT AIN'T THE END OF THE WORLD

IF I FIX THE DOOR, BRIAN.

DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT.

BUT, THANKS.

IS YOUR:

BROTHER HOME?

I DON'T THINK SO.

WELL, I'LL TELL YOU

THE SAME THING:

THAT I TOLD THAT J.O.

WHEN HE WAS YOUR AGE:

IF YOU START F***IN' AROUND,

I WILL KNOCK YOUR DICK OFF.

YOU'VE HAD A ROUGH

COUPLE YEARS.

I KNOW YOU MAY NO WANT TO TALK TO A MEMBER

OF THE ILLINOIS LAW

ENFORCEMENT COMMUNITY,

BUT THERE'S A FIRST TIME

FOR EVERYTHING.

IF YOU WANT, WE'LL GO

GET A BEEF SANDWICH

AND DO SOME:

PROBLEM-SOLVING.

OR IF YOU WANT TO TALK

TO SOMEBODY ELSE,

THERE'S "JESUS AND ME"

OVER AT MARY SEAT.

BUNCH OF KIDS GET TOGETHER

AND TALK ABOUT WHA MAKES 'EM FEEL BAD...

AND JESUS.

MAYBE I'LL CHECK IT OUT.

THANK YOU.

TALK ABOUT GOD:

AND SH*T.

GOOD NIGHT.

GET SOME SLEEP YOU

LITTLE PIMP.

[ALARM CLOCK TICKING]

[ALARM GOING OFF]

[MUSIC]

[MUSIC]

[MUSIC]

HEY BUD.

I THOUGHT THAT WE TALKED

ABOUT NOT PARKING IN THE LOT?

YEAH, I CAN'T BE

LATE TO CLASS.

YOU GUYS CAN'T USE

THE VAN ANYMORE.

YOU KNOW, I'VE BEEN

MEANING TO TELL YOU

ABOUT THESE MUSHROOMS

THAT KEEP GROWING IN

THE BACK ON THE CARPET.

WAIT, WHAT DID

YOU SAY?

I'M RETIRING THE SIN BIN.

YOU'RE MESSING

WITH ME?

YOU'RE NO MESSING WITH ME?

YOU KNOW, I NEED

TO GET OUT THERE.

SO I WENT OUT WITH YOU GUYS,

AND I SEE A CUTE GIRL

AND THEN I HAVE TO TAKE

A SOBRIETY TEST.

WHICH GIRL?

DOESN'T MATTER.

OF COURSE IT MATTERS.

SUZIE KOSOLANSKY.

YOU'RE RIGHT,

SHE DOESN'T MATTER.

WHY DOESN' SHE MATTER?

BECAUSE SHE MATTERS

AND EVERYONE KNOWS THA AND YOU DON'T MATTER

AND EVERYONE KNOWS THAT TOO.

I'M STILL

RETIRING THE BIN.

YOU KNOW, YOU'RE THE ONLY

ONE OF US THAT HAS A CAR, BRIAN.

I MEAN, I LIVE WITH MY MOM

AND MY FOUR SISTERS.

HOW AM I EVER GOING

TO BRING A GIRL HOME?

LET ME GE BACK TO YOU.

[MUSIC]

[THROAT CLEARING]

[MUSIC]

PSSST!

[MUSIC]

WHAT'S UP?

AND HOW COME YOU GET TO WEAR

SNEAKERS WITH YOUR UNIFORM?

BECAUSE.

GREEN MILL, NORTH SIDE.

YOU'RE GONNA SEE

A MAN ABOUT A HORSE.

HALL PASS, IN CASE

YOU GET STOPPED.

I WROTE IT OU FOR THE DEAN'S OFFICE,

THE HALL MONITOR WILL ALREADY

THINK YOU'RE IN TROUBLE.

ALSO, I WAS HOPING YOU

COULD SWING BY MY LOCKER

AND DROP MY JACKET OFF.

I'M REALLY SORRY.

IT'S COOL.

LOOK LIKE SOMEBODY

HIT THE JACKPOT.

OH!

BRIAN DINES?

IT'S DIE-NESS.

SUZIE, RIGHT?

DEAN THEATARD?

AWW, SH*T!

I'LL COME WITH, I'LL GRAB

A JUICEBOX FROM THE CAFETERIA.

SO ARE YOU IN TROUBLE

WITH THE DEAN?

MISUNDERSTANDING

I THINK.

YOU HAD AN OLDER BROTHER

WHO WENT HERE, RIGHT?

YEAH,

HOW'D YOU KNOW THAT?

I'VE HEARD THE LEGEND.

HE BURNT DOWN THE

BLEACHERS DIDN'T HE?

[CHUCKLES]

WHAT?

I DON'T KNOW.

HE LOST HIS SCHOLARSHIP THOUGH,

THEY KICKED HIM OUT.

I'M A SCHOLARSHIP

KID TOO.

BUT, I GUESS SENIOR YEAR

DOESN'T MATTER.

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