Adventures of Jamarcus Jaqwaivion Jaqwaivious the third

Episode #1

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1986

DR PLUM:
Hello genital men,,,i am Thaddeus Pheromone Plumicious. You can call me Dr. Plum. I run this organization & represent the old homophobic cops group.

TEDDY:
I am Theodore Roosevelt the ex president I represent the dead president group.

WORM GUY:
I am Flemunxious Hernados Flimydian. You can call me Worm guy. I represent the weird guy group.

DAVE:
I am Wohmungus Flumbus Daveinburger. You can call me Woah Dave. I Represent the Woah Dave group. I will be accepting the child.

DR. PLUM:
Alright thats all we have time to say right now. We are gathered here to create the best IDARB player ever. Will be making millions maybe even trillions of clones until he's perfect.

TEDDY:
So how will we be making him?

DR. PLUM:
Through DNA.

TEDDY:
Aight bet.

AFTER YEARS OF MAKING THE CLONES THEY MAKE THE PERFECT BATCH

1990

DR. PLUM:
Alright we did it.

RANDOM GUY:
Its...Black

DAVE:
Whats wrong with being black?!

RANDOM GUY:
Nothing! Im just saying its supposed to be white.

DR. PLUM:
Just shut up.

THEY INSERT IT INTO THE MACHINE

DR.PLUM:
He's. He's! HE'S!

RANDOM, NOW RACIST GUY: He's...black.

EVERYONE:
WHOA WHOA THATS RACIST!

AFTER TAKING OUT THE RACISM IN THE CLONE THEY TEST HIS SKILLS

DR. PLUM:
Alright now. Play.

THE BOY PLAYS THE BEST ANYONE HAS EVER SEEN

DR. PLUM:
We need to name him.

BOOM THE WALL GETS BROKEN DOWN BY A BULLDOZER DRIVEN BY A BAD GUY

FRENDANIMO:
You can't do that! thats not fair. IM FINNA SHOT HIM

FRENDANIMO PROCEEDS TO "POP A GLOCK" SHOOTING THE BOY

DAVE:
NOOOOO!!!!

DAVE JUMPS IN FRONT OF THE BULLET GETTING SHOT

FRENDANIMO:
ah man i only brought 1 bullet.

FRENDANIMO FLEES

DAVE:
Name him well...

DAVE PROCEEDS TO DIE

DR. PLUM:
We gotta name him right.

TEDDY:
We'll name him Dave.

DR. PLUM:
No! We'll name him...

DR PLUM & THE BOY GET RIPPED & FLY UP INTO THE SKY. DR. PLUM YELLS...

DR. PLUM:
JAMARCUS JAQWAVIOUS JAQWAIVIAN...THE THIRD!!!

SCREEN FADES TO BLACK

1994

JAMARCUS:
Yo anyone wanna play IDARB?

FRED:
No! You're too good! We will surely lose!

JAMARCUS:
I'll make it easy on you. I'll use 1 eye.

FRED:
You already have 1 eye.

JAMARCUS:
Alright then i'll use no arms.

FRED:
You dont have any arms.

JAMARCUS:
IDC FIGHT ME!

RANDOM SHIRTLESS KID APPEARS OUT OF THE SHADOWS

SHINOBO:
I'll fight you!

JAMARCUS:
Who are you?

SHINOBO:
I am Shinobo Qwaunchsenxly Exawaldilwanfredingleson! JR!

JAMARCUS:
Alright les play

THE PROCEED TO PLAY IDARB JAMARCUS WINS

JAMARCUS:
Ha i am better! You're bad!

SHINOBO:
No...I'm...Your...BROTHER

JAMARCUS:
Nah you trippin foo

DR PLUM LEAVES HIS HELICOPTER

DR PLUM:
No he is your brother Jamarcus.

JAMARCUS:
New phone who dis?

DR PLUM:
I'm your father Jamarcus...we all are

300 PEOPLE STARE AT JAMARCUS

JAMARCUS:
?

DR. PLUM:
You were created to beat every person to every play IDARB. So you could defeat the great & horrible Frendranimo Linguinie.

TEDDY:
We suspect something's up.

DR. PLUM:
We created this child so that he could assist you in battle.

JAMARCUS:
Nah i dont need any help i'm awesome.

MEANWHILE IN BIG CITY

FRENDANIMO:
He is perfect. release him into battle.

AGENT PINEAPPLE:
[STATIC] I found him sir.[STATIC]

DR. PLUM:
Bring him in.

AGENT PINEAPPLE:
Warm or cold?

AGENT PINEAPPLE:
Sir?

FRENDANIMO:
Bring out the prisoner.

SHAQUILE ONEIL COMES OUT OF A CELL

SHAQ:
Man what am i fighting?

FRENDANIMO:
This is my little friend. A SUS MINOR

A SUS MINOR WHOOPS SHAQ IN IDARB

AGENT PINEAPPLE STEPS ON A REMOTE TRIGGERING THE TV

FRENDANIMO:
GET HIM!!

A SUS MINOR GETS AGENT PINEAPPLE

FRENDANIMO:
Kill him

IN THE CAR:

DR. PLUM:
Here we are

JAMARCUS:
I thought you said we were going to big city?

DR. PLUM:
In do time, but for now we will train you. This is Teddy. He's dead.

TEDDY:
How you doin'

DR. PLUM:
He gave you your skill of thinking fast on your feet. He's known for his quick skills.

TRAINING MONTAGE INSUES

♩Try to be best

'Cause you're only a man And a man's gotta learn to take it Try to believe Though the going gets rough That you gotta hang tough to make it♩

♩History repeats itself Try and you'll succeed Never doubt that you're the one And you can have your dreams♩

♩ You're the best around Nothing's gonna ever keep you down You're the best around Nothing's gonna ever keep you down You're the best around Nothing's gonna ever keep you down♩

MUSIC FADES:

DR PLUM:
This is Michael Wenchensko Gwantanimo Legosigma Winflyninson. He gave you your strength & sense of awareness.

DR. PLUM:
Fight him.

JAMARCUS:
Alright bet.

THEY "FIGHT". MICHAEL WINS

DR. PLUM:
You'll need to learn more.

JAMARCUS:
What! I thought we were done training.

DR. PLUM:
We are.

JAMARCUS:
Alright then lets go to-

DR. PLUM:
For today.

JAMARCUS SIGHS:

MICHAEL:
You're working the kid too hard.

DR. PLUM:
I cant let what happened to Dave happen to him.

MICHAEL:
That wasn't your fault. No one could've prepared for what was going to happen.

DR. PLUM:
I could've. I trained him. If i would've just trained him better then he would still be alive.

TEDDY:
Sorry about him. He doesn't want to make another mistake like last time.

JAMARCUS:
What happened last time?

TEDDY:
He thinks its his fault but its not.

JAMARCUS:
Oof

TEDDY:
Exactly

MICHAEL:
SIR! SIR!

DR. PLUM:
Yo

MICHAEL:
ITS AGENT PINEAPPLE HES BEEN COMPRIMISED!

DR. PLUM:
Im on my way.

TEDDY:
But what bout Jamarcus?

DR. PLUM:
Lets put a pin in that.

IN BIG CITY:

FREDANIMO:
Yo doctor Plum. Wazzup

DR. PLUM:
Wazzup

FREDANIMO:
WAZZUP

DR. PLUM:
WAZZUP

FRENDANIMO:
WAZZUP

A SUS MINOR:
WAZZUP

DR. PLUM:
WAZZUP

FRENDANIMO:
WAZZUP

FRINKLE FRANKLE:
WAZZUP

A SUS MINOR:
WAZZUP

DR. PLUM:
WAZZUP

FRENDANIMO:
WAZZUP

FRINKLE FRAKLE:
WAZZUP

ALL:
WAZZUP

RACIST GUY:
EYYYY

SILENCE:

THEY ALL PULL GUNS ON EACH OTHER BESIDES RACIST GUY

DR. PLUM:
I see you hired that guy. He's racist ya know

FRENDANIMO:
I was going to fire him.

RACIST GUY:
But why? Was it the joke?

FRENDANIMO:
You're very bad at your job.

RACIST GUY:
Really because i can change that i'll be better. It was just that my brothers uncle died & he wasnt very close but i wanted to be sad so i was sad then my dad walked in on me being sad and just absolutely hated my-

FRENDANIMO SHOOTS RACIST GUY

FRENDANIMO:
Get him!

A SUS MINOR SEZIES DR. PLUM

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