After Porn Ends 2 Page #2

And I feel like

this little job

Has become the biggest

opportunity of my life.

Okay. I'm gonna put this

plan in motion.

It's gonna be a one-year plan.

I'm gonna produce

this many movies

So I have this much content

for my web site once I retire.

I was starting

to plant the seeds

that I wanted a sports show.

I was already working for sirius

at that time out here in la

Doing a very fun, sexy show

called "stripper town."

And by September 9th, 2013,

I started my very

first show with sirius.

"lisa ann does fantasy." it was

my very first sports show.

You know, I said

to my girlfriend today, I was

explaining this to her,

And I said, "you know,

you have kids and I don't.

It's like being a proud parent.

"when you're watching fantasy

and one of your players does

what you expected,

"or even more

than you expected,

You feel like a proud parent."

if a girl wants to get

into the adult business now,

What do you tell her?

Um, I'd talk with her

about why.

You know, is she getting into

the business 'cause she wants

to explore herself sexually?

She feels that she is more

unique than someone else?

Is she just

a paycheck performer?

If so, what is she looking

to do, big picture?

Because some girls think,

you know,

"I'm gonna work for a year

or two and make some money

And put it aside and then

I'll do something else."

And I'm like, "yeah, you're not

doing something else.

You're gonna have at any

other job, someone's gonna

know what you've done."

You have to be done with

the business before the business

is done with you.

And, to many people,

I've seen the business

be done with them

before they were ready,

And it's devastating.

Since I retired,

I made a promise

That I would read

at least one book a week.

And I feel like my brain

was starting to go to mush

Because it was so easy to be

the most successful porn star

in the business

Because all I had to do

was follow some really

basic instructions.

I don't think I could ever

walk away from being

lisa ann the porn star.

I don't think there's a country

that I could move to

Where it would be possible.

I have to accept

that what I put out there,

And the amount of years

that I put it out there,

And the willingness

that I put it out there,

There's something to accept

in return for the security

that I've given myself,

The way that I've been able

to live, the adventures

that I've had.

The sidebar is, sure,

everyone knows who I am,

And everyone feels

comfortable to approach me.

You gotta understand something.

There's a comfort when a guy

sees me that's much different

Than when he sees a football

player or basketball player.

He has masturbated to me.

When he looks at me,

and we make eye contact,

And that twinkle happens,

and he remembers

all those moments,

It's a feeling,

it's an adrenaline rush,

It's a thing, right?

I have to be so aware

that I put it out there.

Who would I be to say,

"no, I don't want any of you

to talk about this anymore.

I want this to go away.

I'm no longer her."

I'm still her.

I was naked.

There's no shield

I was wearing that

covered me from being me.

And I used my real name,

so, you know.

I am in porn, yes,

But I'm also in

the transgender industry,

Which is a very small niche.

So in order for one to be able

to excel and have an exit plan,

You have to produce,

you have to direct.

You have to take control

of your own brand

And be able to dictate

your own future.

So, with that said,

that's why I've worked so hard

To get these accolades

and be able to brand myself

As a top performer.

And eventually

be able to develop

my own modeling agency,

And get in and get out, right?

And have a family of my own.

So, I'm 25 now,

So I got a couple

more years to go

Before I definitely want

to have children of my own.

if I had my life to live over...

it's out of the question.

Oh, I know.

But I'm just saying, if I did

have my life to live over--

What would you do?

I would live a life filled...

Engulfed...

Consumed...

By lust.

-You would?

-Yes.

Engulfed?

Consumed.

With lust?

Yes.

What the hell, why not?

There's little enough

to do around here.

It'll break the monotony.

Oh, can I?

Just for a short time.

Agreed.

I'll be watching you.

As soon as I feel

that you've had enough,

I'll call you back,

and no nonsense.

Oh, agreed.

When can I start?

Now.

Just walk through that door.

I was ready for anything

by the time I went to new york.

I signed on to do the commissary

for "devil in miss jones."

So when I went up there to get

the money to buy the food,

Jerry says,

"I got a guy coming in to read

for the devil in this film.

"would you mind

reading opposite him?

"have you ever had

any acting experience?"

I said, "oh, yes."

I was an actress.

"I'm an actress."

And he said, "would you mind

reading with him?"

"of course not."

so I sat down,

we read the scene.

And I'm chewing up the script,

You know, I'm having

a great time with this.

And after the guy leaves,

He leans over,

he said,

"would you like

to play the role?"

A lead role in a real movie?

Well, I guess so.

I said, "can I cook too?"

he said, "yeah."

He said, "I'll pay you

100 a day for acting,

And 45 a day to cook."

That was a killing for us

in those days, let me tell you.

So we went toddling out

to some place in new jersey.

And so help me, your honor,

I think it was new jersey.

It could have been new york.

I have no idea where it was.

It was a big old deserted farm,

with a big old barn.

And they moved the film

equipment into the barn,

And we lived in the barn,

and we shot in the barn,

And we got in the cars

and we went home.

And that's how I did

"the devil in miss jones."

I have no idea why

"the devil in miss jones,"

A f*** film, let's face it,

a porno, a pornographic film,

Resonated as it did

With such a great range of

american society of that time.

But for some reason, boy,

it just splashed over

Into something that judith crist

dubbed "porn chic."

If you touch me, I can get off.

We'll get off together.

If you just...

Just put your cock in me.

Would you like to put

your cock in me?

Then we can get off.

people were going as couples

To see hardcore

pornographic films,

To see sex films.

I mean, nice couples.

At the time, I had no idea

that anyone I knew,

Much less anyone that

I was related to

Would ever see this film.

And, um, they did.

And I had to say,

"yeah, that was me."

"yes, brother dear,

that was your sister."

It was a moment of truth

in my life.

And I said,

"how's mom taking it?"

And he said,

"well, you know mom.

She rolls with any punch

that comes her way,"

And she did, you know.

Uh, she never said

"I forgive you."

But she almost said,

"I understand" before she died.

I didn't exactly

exit the business.

The business

kind of exited me.

Every film I made was the last

film I was ever gonna do.

I never sought out the films.

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