After Porn Ends 2 Page #3

People would call me and ask me

if I would work, if I was busy.

And I usually would say,

"well, I don't really want to,

but okay, one more."

So I got this very good job,

and it was a nine-to-five job

And took up my time.

Now and then I would

get a call to do a film,

And I would take

a week's vacation

And run off and do a film.

And one day, my boss

called me in and said,

"are you going off

to do one of those films?"

And I said, "well, yeah."

He said, "it's been brought

to my attention

"that some of the board

of directors are aware

That you have done

some of these films."

And I said, "this is

the last one, I promise."

He said, "oh, okay.

I'll tell them that."

And it was.

I don't know what

today's adult films are.

I presume

it's all on the web.

Or on video tape

or cassettes or some media.

I doubt if there are

what we used to call

the "stroke houses"

Around anymore.

You know, when you bought

the popcorn box

And took the bottom out

and dumped the popcorn.

Or you brought a top hat.

By and large,

it's been a delightful trip.

I now and then

get the feeling,

Yeah, there's probably a big

waterfall somewhere

There in the distance.

I can kind of hear it

rumbling now and then,

But what am I gonna

do about it?

The things I am

most grateful for

Are having met

the love of my life--

Not everybody gets to do that--

And having not only met

the love of my life,

Having him feel

the same way about me,

So that we could

build a life together

In this absolutely

delightful little paradise

That we get to call home,

Here under the glorious

hollywood sign.

In my world-- I'm also

a psychic reader for a living--

So, we don't have time lines

Because time is infinite

in my world.

So there's no exit or entrance.

It's just all a big giant

conglomeration of joy and love.

So, no, I don't have

an answer to that question.

But I plan to dance, perform,

Dance with snakes and play,

until I feel

That my heart tells me

to do something different.

So, it could be infinite,

It could be tomorrow,

it could be yesterday,

It could be

five years from now,

It could be a month.

Oh, see? Darren james.

Right now we have

a beautiful lady.

Back up a little bit

and take a look at her.

Look at this body.

What's your name?

-Lara.

-Lara.

What's your age?

Um, 19?

19. I like that.

and hiv scare has reportedly

shut down the porn industry

After darren james

contracted the virus

After returning to the us,

after filming in brazil.

it was discovered

that three actresses

Who had worked with james

shortly after his return

To the United States

a week later, he turned up

at a san diego county hospital

Recovering from

an apparent suicide attempt.

he's a middle-aged

black porn actor

Who wanted to be a policeman.

this is not going to be

a tragedy for me.

It's a beginning.

You got a reason to be here.

You're gonna have

to figure that out.

I guess I was too old

and ugly to die,

But I've survived,

and I came back.

I'm from detroit.

And I started years ago,

the United States navy, 1982.

Being a seabee, it taught me

a lot about... Team,

Just being a team.

Tours all over the world.

And when I was in puerto rico,

I met some navy seals

At the time,

'cause we had a training camp

right next to those guys.

And those guys

just broke me in.

I mean, they educated me

about myself, my life.

It was like a brotherhood.

And it taught me something.

Far as where I'm at now,

it's like...

I can't leave my brothers

that were in the porn

industry behind.

That's why I speak about,

you know,

Being with the condoms issue

and everything else.

And just trying my best

to back these guys up.

Congratulations, recruit.

-Good job.

-Thank you, sir.

Congratulations, recruit.

Thank you.

Good job.

Mmm.

Then, when you get on

the outside, it's like,

"wait a minute.

"this was reality.

I need a job."

I fell into the porn industry

And it was just

one gig after another.

Around the time

when I was working,

I couldn't recall

if I got it there.

I couldn't even tell you if

I got it before I left.

We just don't know

'cause I worked so much

At that period of time

when I was infected.

But I remember I wasn't feeling

as hot when I got to brazil

At this one particular

time I was working.

We were doing a huge orgy.

It was probably my

second orgy when I got there.

I was so tired and exhausted.

I thought it was

just I was overworked.

Learning how this virus works,

That's probably at the time

where I was probably infected

And didn't even know.

It's hard to conclude

and come to a conclusion

Where I got it.

That's the problem.

That's the gray area.

I just-- you know,

if I had a condom,

This probably

wouldn't have happened.

Period. This probably

wouldn't have happened.

You know, I'm not thinking

this stuff would ever happen.

The porn industry, this would

never-- I would never get this.

But the way my

career ended was

My family was in the church.

I get diagnosed, same time,

It's all over

the news in detroit.

So people

finding out right there.

But for some reason,

The church

was smart enough--

I haven't seen these

people in years--

Now keep in mind,

I was gone for years.

I've been gone from home,

And these people

protected me even then.

They stood up for me

even then.

I didn't know

till I heard later.

They stood up by me even then.

If it wasn't for the individuals

I've met in my past,

I still had that memory, like,

all these navy seals that I met

Or military guys that I met

that did martial arts.

They groomed me.

I just brought that back.

Brought that back home

and just got off my ass.

Got off the couch one day.

Get back in the gym.

'cause, you know, I can't

help nobody if I ain't

helping myself.

'cause being a public speaker,

you gotta be able to back up

what you're preaching.

You know, they don't want

to look at somebody

that's all falling apart,

Typical stigma

of being a positive.

"oh, this guy looks sickly."

f*** that.

You know, I gotta do it, man.

You gotta get out

and do something.

You know? And keep giving.

As much as I can

while I still got time

on the clock.

And I got a lot more work

to do. You know?

Who knows?

Maybe somebody will see me,

And just do the same to help

somebody else, that's all.

-Help, that bar?

-Yup.

Rich piano showed me that.

Just do the quick sh*t.

a lot of times when

you've diagnosed,

People, you know,

we get in denial.

I've been there.

You don't wanna do nothing.

Ah, just give up.

You can't.

Just like cancer, any kind

of illness that you get,

Man, you gotta get up

and move on.

You get better by doing

something for yourself,

you know?

I'll tell anybody else,

we all survivors

when it comes to this.

You know, this is not

gonna be a tragedy for me.

It's a beginning.

I regret that

I didn't get out at the time

when I was supposed to.

'cause there was one period

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