After the Reality Page #2

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other guys,

and I have to get to know them,

but Scottie could be the

one for me.

Look at me! I'm ridiculous!

She's not what I expected.

She was lovely.

You can't take it with you if

they take it outta you.

- They're his, huh?

- Yep.

So good to see you,

even if you're 15 hours late.

I got caught up with

post show stuff.

Just give me a hug

before I rip your head off!

Ou know, they say a baby boomer

dies every 39 seconds.

Did they all leave

so much sh*t behind?

I like the labeling thing.

Oh, shh, is your dude here?

Fritzy?

- Fitz. Yeah, he's s-sleeping.

- Fitz.

I gave you the front room.

It's kind of a mess, but I

thought you should have it.

You didn't have to do that.

Oh no, I know. Um, come here.

I want to show you something.

Look, that ridiculous Christmas

when mom threw the yule logs

that dad brought us up here.

Wait, are you remembering this

right?

God, you were this terrified

little kid.

I was not a terrified kid.

You were so scared that Santa was gonna

burn his bum coming down the chimney,

so dad went and buried little

gifts out in the snow.

You don't remember that?

Maybe. Didn't he, like, ruin a

few gifts in the process?

Yeah. God, he didn't really

know what he was doing.

Hey, come on.

It's in times like these,

we just gotta remember the best selling two

seat convertible in sports car history.

- The Miata!

- Mazda Miata!

I should never have cosigned that loan.

- You shouldn't of.

But how long was it until you, uh,

you, you found out I was lying?

Oh, uh, which lie was that? That

you weren't going to college,

or that you were using your tuition

money to fund your half of the Miata?

Why I see that as one lie. It's

like a combo lie.

Oh yeah, the old combo. Umm,

I guess like six months.

Mmmm. What a great six months

that was.

Dad was so proud of

his college kid.

Yeah, cuz you were finally, kind

of, a normal member of society.

Yeah.

Well, alright I gotta go to bed.

Here, have the rest of this.

Scottie, wait! I haven't seen

you since the funeral.

What happened?

Did you get the girl?

I, um, can't really watch you

on that I mean it's so weird.

I signed a contract.

Can't talk about it.

What?

Since when do you give a sh*t

about a contract?

- Let's just talk about it in the morning.

- Oh my!

I can't believe you're

not gonna tell me.

I'm hoping to get out of here a

little earlier.

Don't we have that meeting

with the lawyer on Monday?

Yeah.

Scottie, what is up with that

hand?

Argh, th-the u-haul umm tailgate

just kind of mangled it.

Well, did you get it looked at?

I'll put some ice on it.

Goodnight.

Um, okay.

I will. Yep.

Umm, thanks doctor.

Kate!

Oh! Hey!

What are you doing?

Um, smoking.

Oh. Do you have to smoke?

I mean I can make you tea if

you want to relax.

You were gone a long time. I thought

you were just going out for boxes.

I wasn't gone that long.

Boxes.

- You forgot the boxes?

- Ehh.

Stop looking for tea. I don't

want any tea.

Do we have any Gatorade?

Since when do I have Gatorade?

Okay, would you please not

smoke? Pretty please?

Now look, I have something to

tell you. I have...

Uh, it's my team.

I asked them to wait quietly.

Sorry coach! Ball got away

from us.

Anyway, I've hired them to help

us out.

Right.

As you can see,

I am in superior shape.

I jog every now and then. I do like

100 push-ups a day. I cross fit.

I'm looking at guys with like

11, 12 percent body fat.

That's like a woman's body fat!

Let'er hang, and

soak up the sun!

I mean these guys are

great in the pool, man.

No, which is good, cuz things

are about to get heavy.

Like a rock.

We all get called in

from the pool,

and we never had our pool

time interrupted before.

We're all gathered

in the living room,

and the news is dropped by the producers,

and I'm like, Jesus man, this sucks!

I mean Scottie's dad is dead.

And Scottie doesn't

even know it yet.

So, I do what I do in these

situations.

It's dunkin daiquiri time!

All right guys, let's

have a toast.

To us young bucks!

Ahh that's pretty good,

you know?

Ooh, he's coming down the walk.

I mean, we were hanging out, and the next

thing you know, we hear these footsteps

and it was like damn, dunkin's daiquiris

aren't gonna be able to protect us now.

How are ya?

What's goin' on guys?

Aw, come on, you're

not giving up already. Are ya?

Because of my line of work, I took

the lead. This was gonna be tough.

Hey, I made some daiquiris!

- Have a daiquiri.

- No, I'm good, man. Thanks!

- They're really tasty.

- Yeah, just have a daiquiri.

What's going on?

Take the daiquiri.

I don't want the daiquiri man.

- Here.

- N't want the...

What the f...?

I'm just trying to be nice.

Sorry to say, but your father's

passed away.

If the guy hadn't just

lost his father,

I wouldn't have been so

pleasant.

I'm standing there in my best

linen threads,

dripping in daiquiri, and the

guy's losing it.

What a mess.

I guess he left quite

the impression on Kelly today.

That's the rumor.

His whole story makes

for quite the narrative now.

If he stays on the show, he

could really leverage it.

That said, the guy just lost

his father.

He's a mess. And he doesn't

even know it yet.

I'll remind him.

You-you're a sneaky dude. You are sneaky.

Got my eye on you!

Hey Rucke, you wanna

bring me another Phillips head?

And a wrench too!

Just, just right there.

Well, I don't know.

No, you're doing great.

I'm not being critical.

Here you go, coach! Great.

Thanks, bud! All right.

You know what though, I think we

are gonna need to get a drill.

Yep, these screws are rusted in

there.

Don't worry. The guys will

get it down.

Yeah.

Hey look, are, are we cool?

I mean, I'm sorry to spring the

team on you like that.

No, it's um, it's just a lot.

Really.

I'll tell you what, you just focus

on what you need to do in there,

- and we've got everything

covered out here. Ow!

- Oh. With a

little coaching, I guess.

Hey, can we talk tonight? Like, no

point guards or intentions ceremonies?

Whatever you need!

Guys, you did good, but careful.

Really, Kate? Child labor?

Fitz brought them here to,

well, to fix the landscaping.

After the inspection, we

promised to do a bunch of stuff

- oh, uh pick up sticks?

- Yeah.

Hey Scott! Good to see ya!

Good to see you too, Fitz!

He's a hospital meditation

guru, right?

Don't give me sh*t right now.

He's a reflexologist.

Reflexologist.

- Hey, do you have another cigarette?

- Yep.

I, um, couldn't

find any. Your jacket pocket.

So, uh, where did the

little dribblers come from?

Ha, little dribblers!

They are actually the hibbing middle

school north woods grizzlies.

They were supposed to do a fundraising car

wash today, but as their assistant coach

I said, "how would you guys

like to make some real money?"

Oh. Smart thinking, coach.

Uh, good to see you again.

Yeah. Hey, whoa, whoa,

you all right?

- Ah yeah. Just a little ged up.

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