Afternoon Delight Page #4

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Blogging's amazing.

-So, and we are recording.

OK.

So, we are not sure what this is

going to be yet, if this is

gonna be a blog, a co-blog,

article, podcast.

We're going to just--

Who knows?

Keep it loose.

Right now we're just

gonna have a--

just a-- just going to call--

call it a conversation.

-Yeah.

-OK.

You are a sex worker.

-Yes.

I'm a sex worker.

-And you have been, uh, working

in sex for how long?

-Two years.

I started when I was 20.

-You told me you were 19.

I tell all my customers that.

It's like, a barely

legal thing.

It turns them on.

-What does it mean to see other

people as customers?

-Doctors have customers,

psychiatrists have customers,

people that work in stores

have customers.

A lot of people in this

world have customers.

-What if those customers

had wives?

-So?

-You didn't feel a sense

of responsibility or--

-No.

-Sisterliness?

-No.

-Compassion?

-Yeah, I feel compassion for a

world where men have a way

higher sex drive, and it's a

proven fact, and their wives

lose interest in having

sex with term.

Yeah, I feel compassion

for that.

-Oh my god.

-Thank you for coming home.

-Thank you for calling

me home.

This is not at all what I had

scheduled for my afternoon.

-Hey.

-What?

-Open your eyes.

-What?

-Do me a favor.

Open your eyes.

Hey.

Hi.

-You wanna try having

an eyes open orgasm?

Yeah?

Like this?

-There you are.

-Hey, hello, how are you?

-Hey, long time.

You know what?

Close them.

-I'm sorry.

Just keep them closed.

-Do what you gotta do.

-Sorry.

-Oh, I'm good.

-Yeah.

-I can get back in there.

-No, no, no, no, no, no.

-No?

-Takes a second to get

back on the bus.

-Yep.

-Been a while.

Glad we did it though, so.

-Yeah, yeah.

-Nice work.

-Right.

-Um, so, I can when I get back

later tonight from work.

Yeah?

-Um, actually, I'm gonna be

much later than I thought.

-No worries.

-Because I had to reschedule

this conference

call and I have to--

[phone vibrating]

-Hold on.

Someone's calling me right now.

Hello?

Yeah, hey.

This is Jeff.

If they're still on the call, I

need you to patch me through

right away.

--We're running late, honey.

-My legs are stuck.

-Logan.

Logan, you have to help me.

-Flex your legs.

Let go.

[knocking]

-Mhmm.

MCKENNA (OFFSCREEN): Hi.

MCKENNA (OFFSCREEN): Jeff

said that you were sick.

-Oh, I feel Sh*t City.

I'm all right, I think.

-You know your body's

not gonna heal

if you mind's tweaking.

-I'm not--

No, wait, I--

McKenna, I have to reach out.

I have to reach out to hot dog

vendors for this Craftacular

or Jennie is going to kill me.

MCKENNA (OFFSCREEN):

Do you have any of

that menthol rub stuff?

Do you know what I'm

talking about?

-McKenna, I'm fine.

-Ah, ah, ah.

You do have it.

-McKenna, I don't

need anything.

-Do you have a sock?

-Can I use these?

-I mean, those are gross.

I don't know what you're even.

-Smells fine.

-You don't have to do anything.

-OK.

-I don't even--

-Give me your foot.

-Again, honey.

Please, I am total--

-Put it down.

-I am fine.

Lay down.

-Lady.

I am fine.

-OK?

Just pause.

OK.

My grandma used to do this

to me and my cousins

when we were sick.

RACHEL (OFFSCREEN): Grandma.

-Yeah.

Grandma Ninny.

-Did you say Ninny?

-Mhmm.

My mom's mom.

I lived with her a lot.

You have to keep

your feet warm.

-You do not have to do this.

-Makes me happy.

I can feel in your feet

where you're blocked.

In your right hip.

We'll just shake it out.

OK.

Just shake it out a little.

Oh yeah, it's really

right in here.

[whispers]

OK.

Can I open this?

-Um.

I'm not wearing a bra.

-Just breathe.

[heavy breathing]

[heavy breathing]

-Hey, cute dress.

-Thanks.

-You look so pretty.

Where you going?

-Do you really wanna know?

-Of course.

-I'm going to play with Jack.

-Oh, is that the--

Is that the Paypal

one, or the--

MCKENNA (OFFSCREEN): No,

he's the other one.

-Oh, the nice one.

MCKENNA (OFFSCREEN): Mhmm.

-Oh, good.

OK.

Are you sure you wanna go?

-Yeah, my mom called.

Um, she's getting evicted, so I

need to make her some cash.

-But I mean, if you--

I you want me to pay you

instead of the room.

I make $250 an hour.

-OK, well I know you're not

asking for my permission, so.

OK, bye.

-Bye.

-See ya.

Do you need a ride?

OK.

OK.

Are you sure you don't

need a ride home?

He always calls me a cab.

-Oh.

MCKENNA (OFFSCREEN):

Thank you.

Bye.

-Bye.

-Hi Willy.

RACHEL (OFFSCREEN): Are

you kicking the table?

LOGAN (OFFSCREEN): Mhmm.

-Stop.

It's rude.

Thank you.

The road to dessert is paved

with chicken, sir.

-That's right.

I really want dessert.

-And you're gonna get some.

-Stop kicking the the table.

-The road to dessert is

also paved with beef.

Come on.

[door opening]

-There she is.

-McKenna, you hungry?

Plenty of food.

MCKENNA (OFFSCREEN):

Uh, no thanks.

I'm gonna go straight to bed.

Good night!

-OK, sleep tight.

-Finally.

Oh my god, wow.

Look at you.

You look unbelievable.

-Hey baby.

Look what you did.

I'm proud.

-You did so good.

-Wow.

I'm so proud of you.

-Take it easy Horn

Dog McCrosby.

Look, Rachel's got

her boobies out.

-What the what, Rachel?

-Come over here.

Make a little Matty sandwich.

-OK.

-Hold on.

Everybody.

-All right, we gotta go.

-All right, where's

your mansicle?

-Uh, you mean Jeff?

He's over there.

-Sup Jeff Boyardee?

JENNIE (OFFSCREEN): This way.

This way.

Excuse me.

-Yeah?

-Don't freak out.

OK.

Get a bracelet on this one.

-Oh, yep.

-And, uh, I don't mean to be

unkind, you guys, but I sweat,

if I see anybody walking around

without a bracelet, I'm

gonna sh*t myself.

-Yeah, I--

I'm really sorry about what

happened last year.

-No, don't even worry

about it, because

Actually, that was completely

your fault, but I'm

totally over it.

All right, I want you here with

Amanda, and just figure

out between the two of you

who's gonna do bracelets,

who's gonna take credit cards.

-Uh, I'm--

I'm doing hot dogs

with Stephanie.

-Oh, honey, all due respect, you

kinda dropped the ball on

the hot dogs, so I

gave it to Alisa.

Sorry, I--

I need to borrow my husband

for one second.

I'm so sorry.

-What?

-You're leaving?

-Yeah.

-Because that's how it works.

The women tell the men where to

set up the folding table,

and the men set up the folding

table so men are free to go.

-That's gross.

-Just hang with Steph, OK?

Talk sh*t about the moms.

You guys'll have fun.

-I'm off of hot dogs.

-You don't get to make fun

of me and go surfing.

I'm with f***ing kosher Amanda.

This is f***ing kosher Amanda's

face all the time.

-You're right.

That is her face.

-Yeah.

-That's her resting face.

That is her face.

-This is her baseline.

-I wanna see how it feels.

Huh, this is how it feels

to be kosher Amanda.

-Mm-mm.

-All right, I'm going surfing.

-I can't believe you're

leaving me.

-Bye.

It's not fair, Jeff.

-Seriously, I'm--

I'm doing it.

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