Afternoon Delight Page #7

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They're gone.

They're all gone.

[raucous chatter]

-She has returned!

She has returned with

beverages and--

look at those tits too.

-Come on!

There we go!

All right, there we go!

-There we go!

-All right.

-Oh, this is my sh*t

right here, yo.

This is my jam right here!

This is my jam right here.

[music playing]

[music playing]

-Coming around the mountain.

She'll be coming--

-Hey!

Have you guys ever had

an eyes open orgasm?

Hello?

-What?

-That was a good segue way.

-Have you guys ever had

an eyes open orgasm?

-Wow.

Do you stare in your husband's

eyes, or do you close your

eyes, and do you think

about somebody else?

Hm!

-What is the question?

-Do you stare into--

First of all have, I'd

have to be like this.

I'd have to be like--

-You're doing it right now!

-Oh, she only does

it from behind!

-Yes!

That's how this happened!

From behind!

They'll be coming around--

-He took you up the caboose.

-No, because then I would

be having a butt baby.

-Here's the situation.

I have a very attractive

husband.

RACHEL (OFFSCREEN): I know.

STEPHANIE (OFFSCREEN): --we can

all get on board for that.

MEREDITH (OFFSCREEN): Yes.

-But sometimes a little--

Um, picture the little

what's his name.

Fassbender.

-Whatever, I use him.

RACHEL (OFFSCREEN): He's

got a huge cock.

STEPHANIE (OFFSCREEN):

I use him.

-Don't even get me started

what's going on.

Up here is like, uh, is like

college professor.

16th century woman in a corset,

uh horse thing.

Oh, that, um, that,

uh, Jody Foster

movie on the pool table.

STEPHANIE (OFFSCREEN):

Oh my god.

RACHEL (OFFSCREEN):

"The Accused."

-That was--

Was that a pool table

or a juke box?

RACHEL (OFFSCREEN):

It was a pinball.

-I've masturbated to that

scene for two decades.

STEPHANIE (OFFSCREEN): What?

-I think I have to go.

-ALL:
Oh no.

MEREDITH (OFFSCREEN): Guys.

STEPHANIE (OFFSCREEN): Amanda,

we're making you feel

STEPHANIE (OFFSCREEN): Because

we're being weird.

JENNIE (OFFSCREEN):

Now it's weird.

STEPHANIE (OFFSCREEN): No,

no, no, no no, no.

Amanda, we will--

We'll talk about something

normal.

JENNIE (OFFSCREEN): Amanda,

honey, I'm sorry.

-It was up the butt stuff,

I think, that

pushed it over the edge.

RACHEL (OFFSCREEN):

The butt baby?

-The butt baby.

That's where it took a turn.

-What are you thinking

about, kosher Amanda?

JENNIE (OFFSCREEN):

Don't press her.

Don't press her.

STEPHANIE (OFFSCREEN): Rachel.

RACHEL (OFFSCREEN):

Holier than thou.

-Rachel.

-Keep the Sabbath.

Limit your kids' screen time.

JENNIE (OFFSCREEN): Rachel.

-Do it through a hole

in the sheet.

STEPHANIE (OFFSCREEN): Rachel.

JENNIE (OFFSCREEN): Rachel.

RACHEL (OFFSCREEN): Invite us

all over for your scrapbooking

RACHEL (OFFSCREEN): Who wants

to make a scrapbook?

-Hey.

-Logan is five.

He's not a baby anymore, and I

never made one photo album.

I never made one photo

album, it's gone.

STEPHANIE (OFFSCREEN): Honey.

JENNIE (OFFSCREEN): Make

a photo album.

-I remember the photo albums

that our moms would make with

the, like-- the, like,

tape in the--

STEPHANIE (OFFSCREEN):

In the corners.

I know.

-I love those.

STEPHANIE (OFFSCREEN): I know.

I know.

It's OK.

RACHEL (OFFSCREEN):

And now it's gone.

Now all of my pictures

are on the cloud.

What is the cloud?

What the f*** is the cloud?

He's not gonna re--

He's not gonna know

how to access his

pictures when I die.

When I die, who is gonna

tell him who he was

when he was a baby?

Who's gonna tell him?

Who's gonna be there?

How is he gonna get

into the cloud?

What the f*** is the cloud?

Does anybody here not trust

the f***ing cloud?

We're gonna get going.

[MUSIC PLAYING - ALABAMA SHAKES,

"YOU ARE NOT ALONE"]

JENNIE (OFFSCREEN):

F***ing Matt.

Are you kidding me?

Matthew Jacob [inaudible], get

the f*** up right now.

MATT (OFFSCREEN):

Jennie, hold on.

Hold on.

-Oh my god.

Matt.

What did you do to her?

What'd he do to you?

RACHEL (OFFSCREEN): Jennie

that's her period.

-I have my period.

RACHEL (OFFSCREEN):

That's her period.

-What agency are you

with, honey?

I'm going to call them.

I need that number right now.

-I don't work for an agency.

-What?

Who do you work for?

-I work for myself.

I'm a whore.

-What did she just say?

-Hang on, hang on.

-She knows.

She got a lap dance from me.

He bought me for her.

He came and paid me.

Like I was a present.

-We've gone out of our way

to try and help you.

RACHEL (OFFSCREEN): McKenna,

you needed a place to stay.

-You will never see your

children ever again.

Do you understand that?

-Don't f***ing say that to me?

RACHEL (OFFSCREEN): Jennie.

MATT (OFFSCREEN): Stop.

Stop for a second, OK?

Stop.

-Can we please leave

this room?

-I'm so sorry, Jeff.

-F*** off, Jeff.

-You, I am done with.

-She did not do anything

to you.

-Oh, I bet you are.

-All right, Rachel.

-Do you have somewhere to go?

-Yeah, I have like a million

places to go.

-OK.

Goodbye.

-Yep.

-If we're late for Shabbat, uh,

you could just put your

guitar in your cubby, and then

we'll take it home at the end

of the day, OK?

-OK.

-If you're upset about somebody

else playing it, then

I can just take it home

and put it right away.

OK?

-I don't want anyone

else playing it.

Fine, then we'll just--

I'll bring it home.

LOGAN (OFFSCREEN): Mom.

-What are you doing?

-You told me to go.

I told you to let me go.

-Are you OK?

-No I'm not f***ing OK.

I told you to stop for a second

so I could cross.

-I misread your signal.

-You're missing everything

these days.

You miss everything.

-I just--

I thought you had

said I should--

-What was she doing

in our house?

I worked so hard to buy us a

beautiful house, and you--

Did you want me to f*** her?

Just tell me honestly.

-No.

-Is that your ide--

Was that your idea?

LOGAN (OFFSCREEN): Dad!

-Then what?

Did you want to f*** her?

Are you a lesbian?

Just tell me honestly.

I won't be mad.

-I am a mother.

I am a wife.

I'm a--

LOGAN (OFFSCREEN):

Open the door!

-What, you were curious?

LOGAN (OFFSCREEN): Daddy!

-What, you--

You thought you would learn

something from a damaged

f***ing sex--

OK.

-Tell me what you learned.

Tell me what you learned!

-I was just trying

to help her.

She didn't know what

she was gonna do.

-You were trying to help her?

You're the one that needs help.

Not her.

-Well, so help me!

-That's not my job!

It's not my job to

f***ing help you.

-Take it easy.

Just take it easy.

-Listen, Rachel.

Logan, mommy and daddy

are having a talk.

Hold on.

LOGAN (OFFSCREEN): Mom!

-You need something.

You need to figure

out what it is.

You said you didn't

want another kid?

-I was so bored that I

thought I was dying.

-Not everyone gets

to be happy!

-Well, then quit!

I never told you to

sell Happy Farm.

I never told you to stay.

-I'm not gonna quit!

Because I am now in a situation

where people are

depending on me, and that

means something to me.

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