Afula Express Page #6

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"Fire & Cracker Show"

live from Afula...

Davy, you okay?

It's better if she doesn't

come. I mean it.

David, we're going on in a minute.

Get Batya out of your head.

You know, Shimon...

We've performed together all

over. Everywhere in the country.

Can't you buy some deodorant?

You smell like burnt rubber!

You smell like a girl

in a perfume store!

Stop, you nut!

It smells like sh*t!

She's a part of all of this.

It started here with her.

In this city...

Do you miss her?

Do you ever think of her?

Your wife, Marietta?

All the time, David.

All the time.

Come on, pal.

Go out for a while.

Breathe some fresh air.

Come back, and

we'll do a great show.

We made it to Afula, Shimon.

We made it to Afula, David.

Fire...Cracker

Union call! You're not

going on with him!

Get lost!

-You're not going on with him!

Don't tell me what to do!

-The show is off!

Lay off!

-I warned you, you sh*t!

I warned him!

What now?

-Let's get out of here.

Hey, midget.

-Your mother's a midget.

Let's go somewhere. -Stop, David.

-Don't be like that! Let's go.

You know what,

Dingbat? -What?

You know what? -What?

I really missed you!

Stop, David.

-I'm crazy about your nose!

Crazy about it! -Stop!

Don't touch my nose!

Don't touch me, you egomaniac!

You haven't called for months!

Do you know what I went through?!

My family made me lay

on dead rabbis' graves

and pray for a husband!

Dead rabbis!

My Dad won't talk to me!

And I took it all!

But now. I'm happy

with my flowers.

All alone! Period!

Now some big guy just touches

my nose without permission!

I'm not part of

your hocus pocus,

and I'll never be

your assistant again! Period!

Who wants an assistant?

I want to marry you, Batya.

I don't believe you.

Batya, what's wrong?!

I've dreamed about this

my whole life!

Batya, I made it to Afula!

Marry me!

Where's David!

Someone call David!

Shimon, what happened?!

Slydini.

What happened?!

Where are they?!

We have five minutes to

show time! What happened?!

You'll be fine, Shimon.

Don't worry.

Where are you taking him?

-Valley Hospital.

It'll be okay...

Get the hell out of here!

Ok, Afula! The moment

we've been waiting for!

He's our own home-town boy!

He started out as a mechanic!

Now he's a big star!

"The Wizard of OZ" can't compare!

Ladies and gentlemen,

it's our own David the Magician!

Afula, give him a warm welcome!

Good evening, Afula.

Sunflower capital of the world!

Hi, Mom.

I want to tell

you all something.

I was six when I first saw

this stage,

also on Independence Day.

There was a show here,

and our parents had tickets.

My brother and I snuck in.

It was the finals of

the Afula Beauty Pageant.

They were in their bikinis.

My brother went nuts.

But I was waiting for the main

show. The host came out and said:

"Please welcome to the stage:

Yoram Gaon!"

I looked at this stage

and it was gigantic! Huge!

Gaon came out on stage

with his beret.

He sang:

"Who Deserves More Respect"

His eyes were huge

and the crowd went wild!

There wasn't a dry eye

in the house!

Suddenly I saw my mother.

I thought she'd hit me

for sneaking in.

Instead she said:

"David, Yoram Gaon came to Afula,

all the way from Tel-Aviv!"

He was so great, we couldn't

speak all the way home.

After that, I'd steal my father's

beret, may he rest in peace,

and sing "Who Deserves"

in front of the mirror.

I felt as if I was standing

on this huge stage.

But now that I'm here,

it's not so big.

It looks kind of small.

But, I'm not exactly

Yoram Gaon.

Thanks for coming to see me.

Sorry to disappoint you,

Afula...

Okay, Afula! That's okay! Who doesn't

know David and his antics?

Let's thank him for his weird

version of "This is Your Life."

"David's Magic Garage"

Moshon, we've worked together.

David's the best magician around!

Yes, including the Grand Illusion.

So is it a deal? $700.

Okay, Friday Night.

-Batya, I don't work Fridays!

Friday's Fine. -Mommy

-Boaz, go to Daddy.

Mommy, pick a card.

-Friday, 5:
30.

Mommy! Pick a card!

-Sound and lights on you. Bye.

You know your problem, Batya?

-What, David?

English translations:

Madeleine Ali

Video-Spot Ltd.

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