Afula Express Page #5

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But David's an embarrassment

to the profession.

He never even passed

the union test.

He's not a magician.

What's so funny?

Anita Falalil!

The best ass in the land!

Give her a hand!

I'm tired of packing up alone!

It's time you helped!

Did you see them laugh tonight?

I was amazing! Did you see?

I saw you were drunk on stage,

screwing up the routines.

What's gotten into you?

You'd better shape up.

Get into focus.

Shape up, focus work, work!

Is this the Army?

When do we have fun?

That's show business!

If you don't like it,

we can quit right now!

Davy, behave yourself.

-Give me a little ass!

Calm down baby, don't touch.

I love your body! I'm hot for

you! -Shall I say it in Hebrew?

Look at Anita, but don't touch her!

Don't be so mean!

Shimon,

Slydini! I can't believe it!

You saw our show?

-Let's talk man to man.

My honor, David come over here!

Come meet Slydini.

We've met.

Head of the union...

He started out like you,

as my apprentice,

and look where he is today.

I haven't worked in 15 years

and look at me.

Forget the past and

the a**hole apprentice.

I want to speak to you alone.

What?

Your show is illegal.

Wait, what are you trying to say?

Here's what's bugging you. I have

all this cash and you don't.

We have no problem with you.

Just pay your dues and that's it.

What?!

The three of us will appear together.

Me, you, and Speedy.

We'll sell out shows.

Make big money.

Without the a**hole?

-Without the a**hole.

Now that I'm doing well,

My friends from the past

are all walking up!

Screw you and your union!

Tonight was nothing compared to

what we'll do on Independence Day!

There's be nothing like it

in Afula or anywhere else!

Don't forget we tried

the nice way!

Take this!

Buy yourself a personality!

This isn't over yet.

Don't threaten me, a**hole!

Get lost, you piece of sh*t!

Wow! You sure told them off!

It's not over yet, David.

If you drink again on stage,

you're on your own!

Understand, a**hole?

Stop...

I don't get it.

They're both males.

You know your problem, David?

You understand females

about as well as I do.

Batya did this! I'll show her!

-Leave Batya alone.

She switched a male with a female

so I'd start a zoo.

She should have left you

long ago.

Some friend. -I'm objective.

You treated her like sh*t.

I'm going to fry them.

I'll stuff them

with rice and lentils.

Calm down.

Let's get ready for the show.

But they're both males!

It can't be!

Those stones were our stage.

Each kid got up and

did a song or dance.

We put on all sorts of shows,

while the other kids watched.

He got his hair cut

in this chair. -This one?

Sometimes this one

or that one.

Did David get his shoes

fixed here?

He'd bring in his mother's shoes

or his father's.

Because his father

was at work.

He's just like his father.

He has his father's heart

and talent...

His "Israeliness."

And his mother's too.

-His mother's too.

His father, rest his soul,

was such a joker!

His father was...

-Such a pure soul.

There aren't many like him.

I'd give anything,

for his father

to see him now.

He was a very special guy.

After his father died,

David left.

We didn't see him

around anymore.

Shimon, if I was a girl

I'd marry you.

Stop, David.

-Why did your wife leave you?

Drop it.

-You never tell me anything.

She stopped loving me.

-That's no reason.

We had a wall in the middle

of our bedroom. -What?

One day she comes home

and says she can't stand me.

The way I look or smell

or my midget mother...

And my mother wasn't that short.

So I built a wall in our room.

1 meters high.

What did you do?

-I only plastered my side.

I don't believe it.

Plaster and paint

on my side only. -Why?

On principle.

Two years later, she left.

I can understand that.

What about the wall?

Still there.

-Why don't you take it down?

I don't have the energy, David.

I don't have the energy.

I could swear both

of my rabbits are male.

I don't get it!

Both males!

They pulled a rabbit out

of their hat!

He grew in every sense

of the word.

In size, in age...

and career. Nobody could

have dreamt this success!

Are you surprised he made it?

-Yes. -No.

I'm not. He was a gifted boy.

I'm surprised he made it

that big.

I'll se his show

on Independence Day.

You have tickets?

-No. He'll get me tickets.

"Independence Day '97, Afula"

Either Shimon performs with us,

without the a**hole,

or we'll ruin them!

I'll go see the show,

but I want a personal visit.

I want to sing the song

we loved to sing as kids.

It will bring back memories,

and will touch a soft spot

in his heart.

We send him warm regards.

We wish him luck.

Thank God he's successful.

We wish him all the best.

You promised you'd visit.

My husband, Marcel,

wants to see you too.

We love him.

We're proud of him.

We miss him.

Uncle Amram will come,

Aunt Nava... Everybody.

Relax and try to focus.

Let's go over the show.

No problem, whatever...

"Whatever?" You're part

of the show too.

Don't you get it?

I'm hot! I'm on fire!

I'm going to kill them tonight!

I bet Batya will come, too!

I won't say

one word to her.

I'll bet she wants me back,

now that I'm big.

I'll show her.

-David, stop drinking.

It's not professional.

Leave me alone with

your "professionalism!"

It's really not professional!

You know your problem, Twiggy?

You're too easily influenced.

Me? You don't know

who you're talking to!

I drive the biggest stars!

-I'm the biggest star you've driven

I'll be diplomatic just to oil

the wheels of understanding

and iron out the wrinkles

between us. -What?

What did he say?

We should pay

more attention to him.

What's that?

It's Memorial Day, you moron.

So?

So-so.

We were passing and

Shimon said "There's Batya."

I said it couldn't be.

Batya wouldn't wear clothes

to match her flowers.

I see you bought

a spaceship. -Yes.

We have a show here today.

-No kidding?

Your posters

are all over town.

I have to run.

My driver has a short fuse.

If you don't have

tickets yet,

just say Davy sent you and

you'll get the best seats.

Really? -Really.

What's with you?! -What?!

You stink of liquor!

"My driver, your spaceship,

the best seats..."

I came to invite you...

-No! You're here by chance!

So if I pass by your

show by chance,

maybe I'll buy

tickets by chance.

Now if you don't mind,

you're blocking my spaceship.

Good luck.

Hey, Twinkles,

you're a big star now!

Cut it out, Machphuda! Nobody

calls me Twinkles anymore!

Can't talk to you now that

you're a big shot magician?!

Watch your mouth!

Get lost!

Ladies and gentleman!

Fireworks, thunder, lightning!

After all the coverage

and publicity,

the nigh you've waited for.

Live on Afula's Channel 9.

It's one hour before the show.

Let's peek in on the stars,

and watch them make final

preparations for the show.

We're late! Get dressed!

No cameras! Don't come in!

Come on Davy, get dressed!

Stay out!

We're bringing you the

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