Against The Current Page #3

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PAUL:
Not as bad as yesterday.

JEFF:
Ah! Probably getting used to it.

PAUL:
Probably.

JEFF:
Water's always freezing

when you first get in.

PAUL:
Ain't that the truth.

Well, keep on trucking.

Will do, buddy.

(SOFTLY) l don't know

what the hell to do, okay?

l don't know what to do.

lf he kills himself,

maybe he'll give me his television.

lt's got a huge screen.

MAN 1:
What's he swimming for?

JEFF:
Just for fun.

MAN 2:
Don't know how clean the water is.

MAN 1 :
There's a freshwater lake

a few miles inland.

JEFF:
l don't think

pollution's a top priority of his.

Let's get some hot dogs.

JEFF:
Damn it!

All right.

Put that around there.

We're looking for hot dogs.

l don't have any.

Fair enough.

Anybody know where we can

get something to eat?

Town's about a quarter-mile down the road.

Perry's has hot dogs.

-No, they don't.

-Yeah, they do.

-They're iust not on the menu.

-Yeah, you have to ask for 'em.

MAN 1:
Bullshit!

MAN 2:
It's true. You just have to ask for 'em.

-Who told you that?

-Nobody told me. l just know.

Don't worry, we'll get to the bottom of it.

Knock some heads together, if we have to.

Mmm-hmm.

Will you keep an eye on her for me?

PAUL:
Mmm! Mmm!

l saw this thing on TV once,

a special about the death penalty,

and they were talking about

prisoners' last meals, and this...

This chaplain was saying

in his 30 years at Sing Sing,

never once did he actually see

a prisoner eat his last meal.

They always ended up

giving it to the other prisoners.

We'll be passing Sing Sing.

l know. That's why l mentioned it.

Why did you mention it?

Well, how can you be eating so happily

if you know you're going to die soon?

Well, A, this isn't my last meal,

B, l'm hungry, and C, l love food.

LIZ:
Okay. Good. You love food.

That... Isn't that one reason

not to kill yourself, right there?

l mean, not to mention

the millions of other reasons.

l mean, you were like a little kid

when we got those donuts on the drive up.

l'm sure they'll have donuts in heaven.

-What?

-l'm sure they'll have donuts in heaven.

-They have donuts in heaven.

-Right.

l mean, if one believes in the concept

of heaven as a paradise,

not really a stretch to believe

they have donuts there.

-PAUL:
Right.

-Well, A,

even if they do have donuts in heaven,

and l can't believe l'm actually

discussing these issues seriously,

what about B,

which is the fact that most people

don't believe suicides go to heaven,

they go to hell?

l don't believe in hell, or that suicides

would necessarily end up there.

l'm not saying l believe that either

but l'm certainly not sure there's a heaven.

Me neither.

Yet you're sure there's donuts there,

if it does exist?

PAUL:
Willing to find out.

Paul, you've got to get some therapy.

You can't just...

l tried therapy, Liz.

All kinds. Groups, Prozac, Zoloft.

l tried praying

and then one day l just stopped.

Why?

Because Amy and the baby were still dead.

LIZ:
Okay. l understand that.

But that doesn't mean that

you can't find a way to go on, somehow.

Lots of people have suffered

terrible tragedies and horrific losses

and continued with their lives.

They found a way to go on.

Not all of them.

Some of them killed themselves.

But most do go on, Paul. They find a way.

Maybe they were stronger than me,

but it was their choice to go on

and not someone else's.

l'm sorry, but, like, grief

or despair or whatever

is iust not a good reason to kill...

To commit suicide. It's just not.

Not a good enough reason for you, you mean.

lt's not a good enough reason for anyone!

It's selfish to kill yourself.

lt's a hostile act.

l don't have any siblings,

my parents are dead,

my wife and child are dead,

so why can't l join my family?

What about Jeff?

What about your other friends?

PAUL:
Why should l be forced

to stay alive for them?

l wouldn't stop Jeff from killing himself,

if that's truly what he wanted to do.

You want to kill yourself,

it's your absolute right.

Thanks. But who would drive the boat?

Good point. Hang in there, buddy.

Things will start looking up.

You're an a**hole.

And you're an idiot.

What'd l do?

(TRAIN WHISTLE BLOWING)

l'm pretty sure ''slack tide'' means... It's like...

Slack. It's calm. It's not moving either way.

Remember, the Hudson is an estuary

where the water flows in, then flows out.

Right, so ideally you want

to be swimming at ebb tide, right?

Maximum ebb best of all, where you'd be

just coasting along practically.

l know, so why was l fighting tides

half the morning?

l don't know how to read the chart.

Well, we were beginning to think

you killed yourself.

You okay?

Went window shopping.

l'm cold and sore and everything aches.

What do you care?

You'll be dead soon anyway.

(THUNDER RUMBLING)

LIZ:
Cigarettes don't help with

your circulation, you know?

What do l care? l'll be dead soon anyway.

Douch.

Maybe we should take tomorrow off.

Rest a day.

We could...

l don't know,

take a factory tour or something.

See where plastic's made.

Can't fall behind.

Then we'll motor down the river

for a few miles at the end of the day

and nobody will know the difference.

l'll know the difference.

l want to do this right.

l'd like to accomplish

this one thing in my life.

l want to actually do something

instead of just talking about doing things.

You know what l mean?

Let's get a milkshake.

This guy really didn't get enough time

in the mixer.

Neither of them, Mom. Right.

Yes.

Maybe tomorrow.

When are we getting there?

When do you think we'll get there?

-JEFF:
Uh, hard to say.

-We'll be there tomorrow afternoon.

-LIZ:
Probably tomorrow.

-l want to do 10 miles tomorrow.

-LIZ:
No.

-Okay.

-l'm serious. l want to do 10 miles.

-l heard you the first time.

Neither of them, Mom! Okay?

Uh, sometime tomorrow afternoon, probably.

Will Pasthule be there?

l'm just asking. Suzanne?

All right, well, we'll all have dinner. Okay.

Okay. Okay!

Bye.

All set. She's looking forward to it.

Faggots!

LIZ:
Good morning.

Hey, did you sleep okay?

Yeah.

We need to get going.

The current's really moving.

Maximum ebb, people!

Let's go while we got it!

JEFF:
(WHISPERING) He's out of his mind!

No kidding.

And we're going right along with it.

l made him a promise.

-You don't have to honor it.

-JEFF:
Says who? You?

What good is giving your word

to a friend if you don't plan on keeping it?

-(MOSQUITO BUZZING)

-Sh*t!

You all right?

Just swimming down the river.

OFFICER:
What do you mean?

l'm swimming down to the Verrazano Bridge.

Verrazano Bridge? It's like 90 miles.

Not all at once. You know, day by day.

Everything okay?

Everything okay here?

l'm fine. Really.

He wants to swim the entire river.

It's one of those, uh, endurance things.

Kind of, like, that Iditarod dog sled race

they have in Alaska.

Except there's no other racers.

Right.

You got a permit for this?

No.

Do l need one?

Just be careful, okay?

Thank you.

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