Against The Current Page #5

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Actually, l'm a drama major.

Another actor.

No, l'm just kidding. l'm pre-med.

Really? So, you want to be a doctor?

No. l'm f***ing with you.

l'm iust a regular liberal arts,

nothing special, no-real-skills-learned major.

You'll make a great temp someday.

Thank you.

So, um, your friend in there,

he sounded serious about

wanting to kill himself.

He is.

Hmm, interesting. It's his life.

You think so?

No, it's your life.

Let's take a walk.

Where to?

l don't know.

l'm gonna go for a walk.

Come join me, if you like.

And that's when l knew, right then and there,

that l could never eat another tomato!

And that's when l knew, right then and there,

that l could never eat another tomato!

(LAUGHING)

(DOOR CLOSES)

She's not on the porch.

Tell her she'll just have to walk home.

Oh, dear, l'm not going to tell her anything.

l'm going to bed.

Why don't you pin a note to Pasthule's shirt?

-Nice meeting you, Paul.

-Good night.

Good night, Aunt Karen.

We'll tell Suzanne you left.

No, let her figure it out the hard way.

(WHISPERING) Let's roll him for his billfold.

lf only he had one.

(PAUL SIGHS)

God, l'm sorry l brought you here.

l'm sorry l brought me here.

-Why?

-My family is weird.

All families are weird.

Do you miss yours?

Of course.

They good to you?

(WHISPERS) Amy was great.

And the baby, well...

Um, l wasn't... l wasn't talking about...

l was talking about your parents.

Wow, l'm sorry.

Oh, no.

(SIGHS)

Of course.

l miss them, too.

l want you to taste me.

l want you to taste me

and then l want you to f*** me.

Wanna taste me? Do you wanna f*** me?

(SUZANNE MOANS)

Taste me.

(PAUL SIGHS)

PAUL:
Hi.

Good morning.

Wow.

LIZ:
Mmm.

What time is it?

Um, almost 11:
00.

Really?

(WHISPERS) Yeah.

We should get going.

Do you think there's any Cokes in the house?

Probably Pepsi.

Pepsi?

What kind of flophouse

is your mother running here?

Bonjour.

l'm such an idiot!

Yup.

How was it?

She's kinda nutty.

ln a good way or a bad way?

A little of both.

Was our absence remarked upon?

Pasthule went nuts.

ls that, that guy's name?

(CHUCKLING)

l don't know.

Yeah, he nodded off.

Mom went to bed, the aunt went home.

-And what'd you guys do?

-Nothing. Just went to bed.

You're really going back into that water

and swim all the way to New York?

Or are you just gooing on me?

Goofing.

-What?

-The word you mean, it's... It's goofing.

Oh, who cares what the word is, dear?

l'm asking him a question.

Yes, l'm going to swim

all the way to New York.

What do you do when you finish?

Look for a new job, l guess.

There you go!

Can't hurt to see what's out there,

now, can it?

Nope.

Keep my options open.

MOM:
Ah, there's Renny Van Cort.

The sorrow that man has known.

Wish l could have grabbed

a shower this morning.

(ROLLERCOASTER PLAYING)

There's my favorite

Rollercoaster

Next to the blue water

There's the sun

Going down

Creating that fluorescent glow

Reminding me I'll never be able

To relive this day

Except in memory

There's those big

Barking fish

ln the concrete stream

But where's Dad?

And where is Mom?

Looks like from here on out

lt's me and you

Looks like from here on out

lt's iust me and you

(WHISPERING)

Can l sleep with you tonight?

Tie our sleeping bags together or something?

What are we gonna tell him?

Don't worry about it.

l know how to handle it.

Liz and l are shacking up tonight.

You're on your own.

When did this develop?

l wasn't on the phone that long.

Last night.

Christ!

It was one big orgy back at the house, huh?

She knows. l can hear it in her voice,

she knows.

LIZ:
l cannot believe you slept with Suzanne.

She's 20 years old.

l didn't find that part to be a problem.

What are you going to do?

-l might not go home.

-What?

JEFF:
l might not go home.

l'm tired of living like this.

Oh, man.

(GROANS)

l feel so drained.

And l do not want to do this anymore.

-PAUL:
But you need to.

-What?

Make it work somehow. It's not impossible.

You could have a future, a child.

You iust need to hang in there

and make it work.

You're giving me advice?

Yeah.

What are you gonna do?

l don't know. Keep swimming, l guess.

(THUNDER RUMBLING)

(THUNDER RUMBLING)

lt's a rainout!

Let's go get some breakfast.

Take in a movie or something.

Maybe it'll clear up later.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Look at the current.

We can make excellent time.

-Are you kidding?

-What? The rain?

Who cares?

The people who normally stay dry

on this swimming trip, genius.

lt may not matter to you in the water,

but l'll take a dildo in my ass-p*ssy

before l sit on a boat going

two miles an hour while it's raining.

Let's go.

No.

We're gonna wait till it clears up.

lf you guys don't want to, that's fine.

But l want to reach New York by August 28th,

so l'm swimming.

You can meet me downriver later.

(THUNDER RUMBLING)

You know, it actually feels kind of warmer.

(YELLS)

LIZ:
What are you doing? Stop it! Stop it!

(PANTING)

Hey.

The library in this town sucks.

They have, like, two books and a newspaper.

What are you doing?

ls it true, if you cut a worm in half,

you get two worms?

l think you get three.

How's he doing?

Hey, sorry about that, uh, you know, that

whole attempted murder thing this morning,

but l'm over it.

LIZ:
It's amazing here.

It's really... It's amazing here!

JEFF:
l was on Staten Island once

near this big dump,

where l saw these huge rats fighting

with these seagulls over the rancid garbage.

Let me tell you, this definitely beats that.

Have you ever seen such a lovely sight?

Not in a long time.

There's... There's so much more beauty

in the world, too, you know? There's...

There's visual, artistic, emotional.

And love.

(LIZ SNIFFLING)

l can't believe we don't have

any weenies to roast.

Or marshmallows.

We could throw Paul in the fire.

Watch him iump out so fast

it'll make our heads spin.

So, how are you planning on killing yourself?

You don't live in that tall building anymore.

l'm not sure, really. Maybe a gun.

We're not gun people.

You're not gonna shoot yourself.

You don't understand.

Help me understand.

lt's not your fault, Liz,

and it's not your responsibility

to try and save me, please.

Look after your own lives, guys, not mine.

JEFF:
Well, here's the problem, butt-plug.

You're a part of my life,

an important part of it,

and you've become a part of Liz's life, too,

so, uh, we are worrying about our own lives.

Got it?

Look, l'm not asking you to agree with me

on this or anything.

l'm just asking you to respect my wishes.

We all have to die sometime,

so what's wrong with choosing

how and when we die ourselves?

lf l were a quadriplegic with burns

over 90% of my body,

you wouldn't try and make me

stay alive, would you?

But you're not even close to being like that.

You're fine.

l'm not fine at all!

Nobody's saying emotional suffering

isn't valid, Paul.

(STUTTERING) It... 'Cause it is,

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