Age of Summerhood Page #2

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I saw this once

in a horror film.

Kids fall asleep and get

terrorized by monsters.

I'd prefer monsters.

But Mother Nature protected

her favorites.

Evolving some beyond torture.

Take Mud for example.

Albert Mud, was a bed-pisser.

A dirty defensive bed-pisser.

The Venus flytrap of preteen.

But he'd rarely pee his own bed.

You see, Mud was also

sleepwalker.

A defensive, sleepwalking

bed-pisser.

A troubling combination.

But how if so,

can you blame him?

The best defense

was always a good offense.

Mitch's parents

were germaphobes.

He was sent to camp

with only white clothing.

This way, you could see

the germs.

Where's Reckless?

He's a prisoner of war.

Too bad.

Oh...

Oh, Sleeping Beauty?

Hi-ho, what's for dinner?

A**hole.

Relax man.

There's nothing left to clean.

Plus, I'm a legend now.

Oh yeah, they'll make

gold statues of your finger.

Oh yeah?

Well here's one.

And here's your Walkman back.

Auto-reverse is boss.

Hey what's on the mic?

Sorry.

So you're girlfriend

comes tomorrow, huh?

We're pen pals, yeah.

Make babies?

Oh, relax homo,

I was just making sure.

This is a boys summer.

Remember that.

We got sh*t to do.

You're gonna spend the rest of

your life apologizing to girls.

For stuff you never did!

Ah, young Fetus.

So young.

This is it for us,

the last of "The Boys."

Once the pubes kick in,

it's over.

Okay?

Now promise.

You have a sickness.

Oh no, no.

I have a plan.

A-Team baby, A-Team.

A-Team... baby?

A-Team.

Tits and Ass baby, all right!

You're uh...

you're not a fairy are you?

You're covered in glitter, man.

You got wings?

It's okay,

I have an uncle who's gay.

He likes to kiss guys.

Do you like kissing guys?

'Cause I love it.

Come here, Sparkles,

give me a kiss.

Yo, get off.

I'm tired.

- Be a man.

- I'm tired.

- Pucker!

- Not tonight!

Why aren't you puckering?

Get off. Not tonight!

Come on Sparkles, pucker up.

Not tonight!

We've got a walker!

Sh*t.

Turn him.

Turn him, turn him.

Get the bucket!

Get the bucket!

Guys, guys, guys.

Get the bucket!

Get the bucket!

Get the bucket!

Get the bucket!

Careful.

Careful.

The bucket.

Okay, all right.

Careful.

Oh my God!

Oh my God!

There's toothpaste in my ear

and you peed on me!

Why did you pee on me?!

Sit down. Calm.

He's got Piss trauma.

Piss trauma man,

I heard of this!

It's okay.

It's just piss.

Thank God nothing bad happened.

The busses are here!

The busses are here!

I just died

in your arms tonight

It must have been

something you said

I just died

in your arms tonight

For the rest of my life,

that's how she'll be.

I see you.

I could see angels.

I can see you, too.

Hey, what's up Sparkles?

Reckless?

You're not here.

Hold on.

It's okay?

It's easier without you.

What are you doing?

It was slipping.

Thanks.

Here.

Now we can see each other.

Hello counselor!

Ha-ha!

I got a surprise for you.

Come on.

Come on.

Come on Champ, up you go.

- Hologram!

- Misfit!

You missed everything!

Charlie's Angels!

Me and my mom went on this like

shopping spree and I bought

all bunch of shirts

and a lip gloss,

and then we finally went on this

car ride to get to camp,

it was like so hot my hair got all

frizzy by the time we got to camp.

And this fat guy he took all the

hot water when I got to camp,

'cause I needed to take a shower

and it was like, so cold.

And I'm like,

it looks better that way anyway.

What happened to your bracelets?

Oh, I cut them off.

They got too tight.

I made you a new one.

Oh.

I sprayed it with bug spray

to keep the bugs away.

Why are you still here then?

You know what,

don't fall asleep, Carmen.

Me? Sleeping Beauty?

You, Sleeping Ugly.

Thank you, Fetus.

What happened?

I grew.

Better believe it.

B*obs baby!

Coming soon

to a theater new you.

Oh my God. I saved you a bed!

Come on.

B*obs.

Hey guys, guys, guys!

Shhh!

Shhh!

Whoa.

And we had a new counselor.

Hey

Hey.

I can see stuff.

Yep.

The child brain

usually filters that out.

You get used to it.

The dock for some water sports?

Eh, most of it.

You're not broken.

Hi Careless, hi.

Remember me?

Itchy Ritchie?

"My balls are itchy"

Itchy Ritchie.

This is awesome.

I was in your

section, now, you're in mine.

It's like irony,

I just learnt that in school.

Remember the 'crazy bucket' thing

you did that one time, man?

That sure was awesome.

If there's anything you want to

do, like ideas and stuff.

Just... you're the man so,

just let me know.

Okay?

Let me know

and we'll get it done, okay?

This is gonna be great.

This is great.

I love you, Careless.

Just joking, ha!

Oh, and Careless.

If you could get those letters

done from your boys

by lunch that would be great.

Back in time

we used to lose our minds

To the sound of the radio

Things weren't

heavy life was easy

Didn't seem to

worry where to go

Yeah!

Lost again!

Ha-ha-ha!

Hey, Sparkles!

Wake up.

Hi Careless.

I need those letters.

You guys bring those letters?

They're empty.

Oh, mine's not!

Hey, that's illegal!

Umm...

we need those letters.

Bow-bow.

So... how's prison?

Kill me.

Nurse.

This man needs a handjob.

Stat.

What's a handjob?

Handjob's like...

medicine for grownups.

Does it work for asthma?

It's the cure for asthma!

I need a handjob.

Handjobs for everybody!

Handjob! Handjob!

Handjob! Handjob!

Please stop.

Please stop.

Give us your garlic bread.

It's not for me ass-face.

What the f*** man?

Now we have no bread!

You wanted bread?

Idiot!

What's for desert?

Oh!

I'm on fire!

Oh my God!

Toast get the pills.

Shane, The Raincoat Kid.

Was the rarest of angels.

Allergic to everything God

had created.

Well, they're all blue!

Hey, Needles,

what's up?

Eh, I get itchy.

Yeah, from what?

Uh... bee stings, grass

and pine cones.

Peanuts, powder, and pasta.

Sunlight, air and colour.

And certain flavors of juice.

Little girls and gravity.

Shane was a walking pharmacy.

But the boy loved to run.

Go Shane, go!

He's out!

Oh wait...

he's safe.

Way to go Batman!

Good job, Shane!

Shane loved camp.

Loved nature too.

Too bad Nature

didn't feel the same way.

How's recess?

Gave my balls sideburns.

Nice.

Luke Perry?

Presley.

Classy.

Flyball!

I got it!

Gave my bag a mullet.

Party.

Yeah! Only in the front.

And then of course,

there was Flyball.

5 for 5.

Princeton Honors Graduate.

Harvard MBA.

Trauma Magnet.

6 for 6.

Shake it off, kid.

You actually expect him

to catch the ball?

You know the Ass

is trying get you fired, right?

Why does he hate you so much?

I create happiness.

That's the bad pitching.

Am I right?

Sundae!

Hello?

Anybody here?

Hello?

Hey there champ.

What can I get you?

Ice?

Sure thing, stud.

What's for lunch?

Oh, it's pizza day.

You wanna watch?

Trees, swaying in the

summer breeze,

Showing off

their silver leaves

As we walk by.

Soft kisses

on a summer's day,

Laughing all our cares away,

Just you and I.

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