Agent X44

Attention!

Abad Santos, Jose!

Adan, Eva!

Agoncillo, Teodora!

Aguila, King!

Aquino, Corazon!

Bonifacio, Andres!

Damaso, Maria Clara!

Scalaverch, Junior!

Talactac, Mary Grace!

Sit down!

You have one hour to finish the exam.

Right minus wrong!

Finished or not finished,

pass your papers...

at exactly 2 o'clock.

Time starts now!

Just one hour?!

There are so many questions!

Shut up! Stupid!

If Pedro is Juan's son,

and Andres is Juan's son...

but they are not brothers...

Who is Pedro?

A Penduko?

So easy!

You're not yet done?

Such a slow learner!

Remember-

the knowledge of multiple languages

is important in our work!

In French...

The knowledge of multiple languages

is important in our work.

Very good!

In German...

The knowledge of multiple languages

is important in our work.

Very good, midget!

The knowledge of multiple languages

is important in our work.

And in what language is that?

Ma'am, for those

who are speech-impaired!

Speak for yourself!

Cross-eyed!

Stupid!

Tell him...

don't tell him...

tell him...

don't tell him...

Hi, Mary Grace!

What happened to your flower?

Are you busy tonight?

No.

Are you going to ask me out on a date?

Sure! Fetch me at my place at 8 PM.

Really?

Yes.

Yes!

Mary Grace, try putting

on some lipstick and eye-shadow.

It might look good on you.

Really?

Well?

Are you in a hurry?

Do you know how many meetings

I have after this?

Seven!

So if you have something to say, say it!

King, do you love me? I love you!

It's not that simple.

What's simpler than "yes or no"?

What's the word? That's the word!

No!

Thank you! You're so handsome!

I know that.

I hate him!

At ease! Position!

You will be divided into two teams!

Team A...

will be composed

of the strongest and most beautiful!

Team B will be composed

of the ugliest and most stupid!

Position!

You, ugly people! Go this side!

- She's asking you to go there!

- Why me? I'm not ugly!

- Ma'am, who are you referring to?

- Stupid! You two belong to Team B!

Are we ugly, Junior?

Ready! Get set! Go!

Move it! I like it!

Move it! I like to move it!

Yes!

One! Two! Three! Go!

Ma'am, this is the hostage!

Okay, point 29.88 secs!

Ma'am, Junior has been hit!

I don't care! Faggots!

- Do you want me to hit you?

- What?!

Uhm, Ma'am, he's been hit.

We now call the graduates of Batch 2007!

You will receive your agent's kit

and plaque of recognition.

Agent X41!

Agent X57!

Congratulations!

Agent X12!

Congratulations!

Agent X75!

Agent X28!

Agent X23!

Agent X33!

Agent X75!

- Congratulations!

- Agent X54!

Congratulations!

And Agent X690!

Thank you!

Congratulations, agents!

Now, the last but not the least!

For janitorial services...

Reserve Agent King Aguila!

Congratulations, King!

You're now a lowly cleaner!

Will I still be able to serve as an agent?

Yes, when we run out of agents.

For now,

you're assigned to General Services!

If an agent dies,

you will serve as his replacement.

Now, Reserve of the

Reserve Agent Junior Scalaverch!

- Congratulations!

- Congratulations!

Ma'am, how about me?

If King dies,

you will be his replacement.

Hmmph!

Congratulations, agents!

Reserve Agent?!

I know you're disappointed

because I failed to become...

The next Agent X44!

That is no longer important.

That's not true!

I know you promised my dying parents...

That you will train me

to succeed you as Agent X44.

Because of my failure, the agency

will erase your code name when you die.

Hello?

- Yes?

- Agent X44?

This is Agent X44.

You have a mission in Lebanon!

Lebanon?

Yes! Don't worry,

it's just an overnight mission.

You just have to retrieve Kris'

missing luggage.

Retrieve Kris' luggage? Okay.

Okay.

Goodbye!

Lebanon?

Isn't that dangerous for your age?

You should be resting at home...

Baking a cake, knitting socks

or drinking coffee at Tropical Hut.

Once an agent, always an agent.

Until a new Agent X44 comes along,

I have to do my work.

You have to do your work as well.

Yes, Godfather!

Junior, we will not remain

as janitors all our lives.

- We deserve to be agents too.

- Whatever!

Stop complaining! Just clean that spot!

I know!

Mary Grace, where are you going?

Somewhere far away from you!

You don't have to snap at me!

You even brought your laptop.

- This is a make-up kit, monkey-face!

- What's her problem?

- Why don't we tackle our problem first?

- What's our problem?

We want to be agents, remember?

I don't want to remain as a janitor!

Don't worry!

One day, we'll become agents.

I promise you! Please forgive me.

I love you, but you hate me

because I have so many boys.

It's Jimboy's fault!

It hurts! It hurts!

- Don't dare me!

- Forgive me! I'm just a human being.

Ahh! Aahh! Aahh!

The sword that you will see is the one

used by Lapu-Lapu to kill Magellan.

Our elders say

that it has extra-ordinary powers.

What powers?

Only Lapu-Lapu and his trusted men

knew the secret.

According to the legend...

the sword holds the key

to a great treasure.

That is why criminals want to steal it...

But no one has ever been successful.

- Ms. Minerva?

- Yes?

Isn't the sword a sharp object?

Why does it look like a hair dryer?

Isn't that the one

they use in hair salons?

Why is it hanging there?

Is Lapu-Lapu gay?

No, he's a Visayan.

No! He's a fish!

Hello?

Is this Col. Abordo?

Yes. Who's this?

This is Minerva Castillo.

I need your help.

The Philippines' most important artifact

has been stolen!

- What?!

- Yes! Stop asking stupid questions!

Lapu-Lapu's sword is gone.

I need your best agent to retrieve it.

I worked so hard to retrieve it.

Is there a suspect?

Yes! Faggots who disguised

as statues to get into the museum.

Assign me to the mission.

You must be out of your mind, Falcon!

You'll be retiring next month!

I retrieved that sword

from Carlos Magallanes...

The Portuguese smuggler,

three decades ago.

- Remember?

- You were strong then.

Young, fresh and resilient.

Your words are too harsh.

Have you forgotten that wine

tastes better as it ages?

As coconut wine ages,

it turns into vinegar.

Your ferocity is on a different level.

Is this a menopausal symptom?

Come on, Cynthia!

I won't be able to rest

until I retrieve that sword.

Let this be Agent X44's last mission

before he dies.

Don't force the issue!

We all know that you already get 20%

discount for medicines, in restaurants...

Even for transportation fare

as a senior citizen!

- How about Agent 168?

- He's in Hong Kong!

- Agent 555?

- He has an assignment in Japan!

- Why not King?

- No!

- Junior?

- No!

Tony!

Just not those two!

Get out of my way!

Godfather!

Cynthia, we have no choice!

Just trust my instincts about King.

Where is my Reserve Agents file?

Why is it missing?

Who took it?

Ma'am!

Where did you get this? Are you a spy?

No, ma'am.

This is what happened...

You were walking down the hallway

when Fernandez handed you the folder.

You felt something...

You rushed into the toilet

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