Air Bud Page #5

That's the, uh, child, sir.

That's a pretty ugly kid.

- [ Observers Laughing ]|- It's a dog.

- What ?|- The case is about custody of a dog.

All right, I'll take it,|but we have to do this seriously.

I will not have my courtroom|turned into some kind of a circus.

Who the hell are you ?

Mr. Norman F. Snively,|Your Honor.

I'm the plaintiff.

- You look like an idiot.|- Why, thank you, sir.

See, I'm a clown by profession.|Happy Slappy's the name.|Clown and the Hound.

Begging your humblest pardon, I thought|it might be helpful to Your Honor...

if I appeared here today|in the guise most pertinent...

to the cogent and unequivocal|stating of my case.

Whatever, whatever.|Y-Y-You go first, clown.

Well, the fact is, Your Honor,|that dog's my property,|and I have papers to prove it.

Well, would you show them|to me, please ?

Well, actually, Your Honor,|l-l had papers to prove it.

But that boy--|that young hooligan--

because of his irresponsible|and criminal activity,|is responsible for what you see.

- Order !|- [ Barking ]

You see, sir, when I lost|my dog for the first time,

it broke me up real bad.

When I lost him the second time,|it darn near killed me.

Hell's bells, Your Honor,|all I wanna do is get Old Blue back.

So it can be him and me together|just like it always was.

Why ? So you can|abuse him some more ?

- That will be enough, young man.|- [ Barking ]

I raised that dog from a puppy.|I wouldn't harm a hair on his head !

- Bailiff, what is that ?|- The dog, Your Honor.

- Order !|- [ Barking ]

- Quiet !|- [ Barking ]

- It's the gavel, sir.|- What ? Speak up !|- [ Barking ]

- Bailiff !|- [ Barking ]|- You said "speak."

- Speak !|- [ Barking ]

Will somebody please|suppress that dog ?

- Shh !|- [ Observers Laughing ]

Oh, what a day.|What a day.

- [ Glass Thuds ]|- Now then--

Young man,|have you any evidence...

that this man|abused your dog ?

Did you ever see him|hit the dog ?

Well... no.

Then how did you know|the dog was abused ?

Because Buddy doesn't like him.|Buddy's my friend.

I know what he's feeling,|so he knows what I'm feeling.

- He's telling the truth, Your Honor.|- Who's that ?

- The boy's mother.|- Oh, it's all right, you may sp--

You may address the court.

When we first moved to this town,

uh, my son...

was very unhappy.

And then he found Buddy here.

Buddy's given him something|to look forward to.

Please, please,|don't take Buddy away from my son.

Mrs. Framm, as far as|this court is concerned,

- the dog is property|unless you have evidence--|- Your Honor.

All these people here did not come here|because of a piece of property.

They came here because of Buddy.|He's part of this town.

He's part of the team, and he's part|of our family now, Your Honor.

- Well, he's part of my family too !|- [ Booing ]

He's like a son to me !

- Shut up !|- [ Barking ]

Why not let the dog choose,|Your Honor ?

They say a dog|is man's best friend.

If that's the case,

shouldn't the dog be able to choose|who he wants to be friends with ?

Who are you, Barnum or Bailey ?

- Arthur Chaney, Your Honor.|- Mr. Chaney, do you reali--

Arthur Chaney ?|New York Knicks, '56 ?

Huh. I was at that Celtics game|where you did the turnaround|jumper at the buzzer.

I spilled beer|all over my wife.

- Your Honor.|- What ?

- Oh, yes, yes, yes.|[ Clears Throat ]|- [ Barking ]

- Mr. Chaney.|- Well, I've been thinking.

This dog's what,|three, four years old.

That makes him an adult|in our years.

- I say let Buddy decide.|- [ Observers Murmuring ]

Mr. Chaney, during my 40 years|on the bench,

I have heard a lot of lamebrain|cockamamie proposals,

but this one... I like.

Move back, everybody ! Way back.|Come along now. Way back.

Gentlemen,|stay on your spots.

If you'll take just one single step|toward that dog, you lose.

Do you understand ?

Now, begin calling the dog.

Old Blue, come to Daddy.

Buddy, come on.|Buddy, come on, please. Buddy, Buddy.

Buddy, Buddy !

- Daddy loves ya, baby.|- Buddy, Buddy.

- Buddy, come on, please.|Buddy, come on.|- Daddy loves ya.

- Hey, Buddy !|- Come on. Come on, boy !

- Buddy, come on. Come on.|- Don't pay any attention to that boy.

- Come on. You wanna come to me.|- Buddy !

- Buddy ! Buddy !|- Come to Daddy !

- Hey, good boy. Come on, Buddy.|- Hey, Blue !

Blue, Blue, come on.

- Come on, Buddy.|Please. Please, Buddy.|- Blue !

-Come on.|-Blue ! Hey, over here. Come on, Blue.

- Look what Daddy's got for ya.|- No, Buddy !

Buddy ! Buddy !

Old friend, come on.|Come this way. Come on.

- Buddy, no. Buddy, no !|- Get over here !

That's right, boy.|Come on. Come on.

- Come on. Over this way.|- Buddy, don't !

- You're gonna get it.|- Buddy, no !|- Get over here !

- Get over here !|- [ Growling ]

[ Screaming ]|What are you doing ?

Stupid dog !

Yeah, come on !

By the powers vested in me, I award|custody of the dog to Josh Framm.

Case closed.|Thank God.

You can't do that !

That dog is my dog !|I got pictures !

Will somebody suppress|that clown ?

[ Shouting ]

Hey, Buddy, do you wanna play ?

Yeah, just like we always do.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes