Aiyyaa

Meenaxi.

'Tezaab'.

Mohini.

Mohini, get to your

rehearsals and I'll just...

You'll sit here and

booze while I dance.

If someone else had said this,

I would've killed him.

You cannot kill me.

Because I pay for your liquor,

your gambling, everything.

I am profitable for you, father.

And you can't dare

to lose on your profits.

Hello, listeners.

Welcome to 'Vivid Bharti'

(All India Radio).

Action.

Say that you're mine, or else.

I want to die...

Don't ever say that.

Don't ever do that.

Do that; Do that;

Do that; Do that; Do that; Do that.

'Chaalbaaz.'

Wonder... where she's from?

Wonder... where she'll go?

She'll definitely

make someone crazy?

It's a small encounter.

But it's so sad.

This girl won't be wooed by anyone.

This girl won't be wooed by anyone.

'Mera Balma' (My sweetheart)!

Oh my!

Oh my!

Mr. India!

Oh my!

I love you.

Qayamat Se Qayamat Tak.

Sridevi; Madhuri, Juhi.

Sometimes this, sometimes that.

It's a wonderful day,

think about it.

The madness, take a look.

You're alone, I am alone.

This is fun... truly.

Truly.

Sunny, Anil...

Bobby, Rishi.

Save me. Save me.

Someone save me.

Aamir, Shah Rukh...

Sallu, SK. Saifu... No.

No. Stop!

SK, Akki, Duggu, Bhaggu...

Dhaggu, Dabbu, Pappu.

Someone save me.

Save me!

Save me!

Nana, congratulations.

Meenaxi's name's in the newspaper.

Meenaxi's name's in the newspaper?

Show me what's written

about Meenaxi.

What's written?

Mom, dad, grandma.

Meenaxi's name's in the papers.

Tell me what's written

about Meenaxi.

Give it here.

- Nana, read it.

Read it, Nana.

- Am coming.

What are you doing?

Attention. Attention everyone.

A Brahmin girl, age...

- Bunch of liars!

You will all go to hell.

And rot to death.

You can't get anyone

married by lying.

This family will never have an heir.

We'll be faced by draughts,

cloudburst...

...this house will be washed away.

Mother-in-law, stop dreaming

behind those sunglasses.

Nana, read it.

A Brahmin girl, age 22.

Mild natured?

Mild natured? Meenaxi?

Mild natured. Maybe they meant nuts.

Homely.

She has all the qualities

of an ideal Indian wife.

A complete Balaji brand

Hindi serial daughter-in-law.

An expert cook.

Respect for her elders.

Loves children.

Very religious and prays every day.

All this is about Meenaxi?

What the...

You call this a matrimonial ad?

Which fool wrote all this?

I did.

I wrote all this.

Modern age, modern ad.

Just watch.

Soon handsome, rich youngsters...

...will flock to this neighbourhood...

Goddess...

...for the first time...

...someone's name from this family

has appeared in the newspaper...

...and has spread far and wide.

Meenaxi!

Meenaxi!

Hear.

I've watched it all in films.

The story of life.

Bacchan's always in front of trees.

And Rekha behind them.

I'm no ordinary girl.

My imagination runs wild.

I charged my boring world.

With zest of my dreams.

My shot's ready, Lord.

Make it okay.

Fulfil my dreams.

Make me a heroine,

I'll offer a dollar in return.

Make her a heroine,

she'll offer a dollar in return.

Make me a heroine,

I'll offer a dollar in return.

Let's go, dear, sing a song.

With the camera in tow.

The frame's all set.

Show them your true colour.

I want my colourful posters.

To be seen in every neighbourhood.

Every radio station

plays only my songs.

Saw her story?

Her movie was pirated.

Madhuri came to her premier.

I want everyone to be my fan.

They'd all want my autographs.

Everyone begs... to

take a picture with me.

Make my beautiful

sway a hit with everyone.

Fulfil my dreams.

Make me a heroine,

I'll offer a dollar in return.

Make her a heroine,

she'll offer a dollar in return.

Make me a heroine,

I'll offer a dollar in return.

Let's go, dear, sing a song.

With the camera in tow.

The frame's all set.

Show them your true colour.

I will horde all

the telly ads as well.

I'll sell everything,

from toothpaste to homes.

She's become famous.

She did the catwalk.

And her parking lot's

has Sachin's Ferrari.

I'll have an affair

with a top hero.

Yet, I'll claim to be single.

All I want is an Oscar

along with a lot of Filmfares.

Fulfil my wishes.

Make me a heroine,

I'll offer a dollar in return.

Make her a heroine,

she'll offer a dollar in return.

Make me a heroine,

I'll offer a dollar in return.

Come, dear,

let's have a drink at a party.

And have a cup

of coffee with Karan...

...with the King

of Bollywood in tow.

Oh gosh! What happened? Where and when?

Hey! Hey!

Who's that?

Who's that?

Listen.

Take that someplace else.

Clear that garbage dump from here.

We didn't ask for a home delivery.

Dad, Nana.

Don'tjust sit there. Run.

And bring him back.

Who is that? Who is that?

Grandma.

My child.

Have a sweet.

Hello, listeners.

Welcome to All India Radio.

'Asleel Geetmala'

(Naughty Countdown.'

Let's first listen to 'Emotional

Attyachaar' from the film DevD.

The song's requested by

Nana and his four dogs from Pune.

He has dedicated this

song to his sister Meenaxi.

Meenaxi, who constantly

hops in and out of her dreams.

And we've to check

where she is at the moment.

The song's also dedicated

to his grandma...

...whose heart and mind

sparkles more brilliantly...

...than her golden dentures.

Also to his over-enthusiast mother...

...and over-dedicated father,

Ganesh Rao.

So let's all hear Deshpande

family's request...

...with great spectacle

'Emotional Atyaachar.'

Minakshi!

- Mother-in-law.

We've two good news.

First, we've our own dustbin.

Our very own.

Now I'll throw out

the garbage from here.

Mother.

- Like this.

What are you doing?

- Like this.

Mother. Something's burning.

Serve me breakfast, I'm getting late.

I've to go for a job interview.

Wonder when I will get a job?

You won't go anywhere, Meenaxi.

The only place you'll

go is your husband's home.

Mother. If the way

to my husband's home...

...is through this heap of garbage...

...then I'll never get married.

No one will come to see me here.

What will you tell them?

The last house in the colony...

...right behind the

big heap of garbage.

And even if you manage

to cross that garbage...

...the smoke will certainly

choke you to death.

Why? The girl's father, who smokes...

...not one, two or three

but four cigarettes in a row.

And one of the dogs at

the gate will tear your pant.

Thanks to the girl's over-smart,

...useless Nana,

who can't endure the sorrows of dogs.

He searches high

and low every night...

...and brings dogs home,

to give them refuge.

Chandi, Sona, Dilbar, Janemann.

There's no place for dogs...

...or dog lovers in this country.

Once I find a clean house...

...l'll marry some

smuggler or shooter...

...and runaway from this madhouse.

Come on. Let's go.

We will all leave this country.

Oh my!

What a beautiful girl.

She's so smart.

Why will you marry a sharp-shooter?

Oh, oh!

What a face!

Those eyes!

That smile.

The family's a bit eccentric.

But the girl's perfect.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes