Aladdin 2019 Page #4

**Start song:
Friend Like Me**

Genie:
Here I go! Unh, ooh, woo! Back up! Uh-oh! Watch out! You done wound me up! 'Boutta show you what I'm workin' with, unh!

Well, Ali Baba, he had them forty thieves

Scheherazade had a thousand tales

But, master, you're in luck because up your sleeves

You got a brand of magic never fails

You got some power in your corner now

Heavy ammunition in your camp

You got some punch, pizazz, yahoo, and how?

All you gotta do is rub that lamp

And then I'll say

Mister-Man, what's your name?

Whatever

What will your pleasure be?

Let me take your order,

I'll jot it down

You ain't never had

a friend like me

Life is your restaurant

And I'm your maitre d'

Come, whisper to me

whatever it is you want

You ain't never had a friend like me

We pride ourselves on service

You the boss, the king, the shah!

Say what you wish, it's yours!

True dish

How about a little more baklava?

Have some of column A

Try all of column B

I'm in the mood to help you, dude

You ain't never had a friend like me

Oh!

Unh!

It's the big part

Watch out!

It's the big part

Oh!

Can your friends do this?

Can your friends do that?

Can your friends pull this

Outta they little hat?

Can your friends go

I'm the genie of the lamp

I can sing, rap, dance,if you give me a chance,oh!

Don't sit there buggy-eyed

I'm here to answer all your midday prayers

You got me bona fide, certified

You got a genie for your charge d'affaires

I got a powerful urge to help you out

So what's your wish?

I really wanna know

You got a list that's three miles long, no doubt

All you gotta do is rub like so

Mister?

Aladdin:
Aladdin

Genie:
Yes!

One wish or two or three

Well, I'm on the job, you big nabob

You ain't never had a friend, never had a friend

You ain't never had a friend, never had a friend

You ain't never

Never

Had a

Had a

Friend

Friend

Like

Like

Me!

You ain't never had a friend like me

Genie:
You can clap now. Puh-domp. No, no, no, no. Please, please, please, please. You can thank me outside. I-In the sun. When you wish us out.

Aladdin:
So, how does it work?

Genie:
You're... kidding, right? The whole song... was th-the instructions! Obviously you can't dance and listen at the same time. So here's the basics: Step one. Rub the lamp. Step two. Say what you want. Step three. There is no step three. See? It's that easy. You get three wishes. They must begin with rubbing the lamp and saying "I wish". Got it?

Aladdin:
I think so.

Genie:
A couple other rules. You can't wish for more wishes. Three is enough. Now, I can't make anybody love anybody. Or bring anybody back from the dead. Feel free to interrupt me anytime you don't understand. I'm kidding. Don't ever interrupt me, no matter what. Now, I usually don't have to go through all this because by the time the guy gets to me, he pretty much knows what he wants and it generally has to do with tons of money and power! Do me a favor, do not drink from that cup. I promise you, there's not enough money and power on Earth for you to be satisfied. Good? So, what's your first wish?

Aladdin:
Mm, well... I have to think about it. I mean, if there are only three. Why are there only three, anyway?

Genie:
I don't know! Who cares? You don't know.

Aladdin:
I thought you were all-knowing?

Genie:
That's 'cause you don't listen. I never said I was all-knowing. I said I was all-powerful. The most powerful being in the universe. Look, whatever I don't know, I know I can learn it. Outside in the sun. Why you playin' hard to wish? I know you can't tell, but I'm very pale. This is sky blue. My natural pigmentation is navy. Give us some sun!

Aladdin:
Okay, Genie. I wish for you to get us out of this cave.

Genie:
Oh, yeah! He has made his first wish! Thank you for choosing carpets, camels and caravans. Please don't forget to tip your genie on the way out. Hold yourself, kid! Whoo! Whoa. Man, look at this world. It's so... big. Inside the lamp, everything's like, brass! Brass! Brass! Brass! Like, ooh, is that some copper? Nope! Brass! Sorta the problem with the genie life. Phenomenal cosmic powers, but itty-bitty living space.

Aladdin:
So, is this magic? Or are you magic?

Genie:
Eh, kind of a package deal.

Aladdin:
Can you warn me before you do that?

Genie:
Oh, you'll get used to it.

Aladdin:
Right. So, do I have to make all my wishes here? I mean, if I take you back to Agrabah, won't people...?

Genie:
No, no, no, no, no. I can look totally normal.

Aladdin:
Right. Totally normal. Still blue. Do we need the top knot?

Genie:
That's my little cherry on top. Okay, okay. So... What are you gonna wish?

Aladdin:
Oh, I-I haven't thought about that.

Genie:
Mm. You really are not that guy. Okay.

Aladdin:
So what would you wish for?

Genie:
No one's ever asked me that before. An easy one though. I wish to be free. To not have to say, Can I help you? What would you like? Welcome to the lamp. May I take your order please? Freedom. I wish to be... To be human.

Aladdin:
Why don't you just set yourself free?

Genie:
Carpet! Did you hear what this boy said? Why don't I set myself free? Only way a genie gets to be free is if the owner of the lamp uses one of his wishes to set him free. And the last time that happened was, like, the fourth of Never-ary.

Aladdin:
I'll do it. I've got three, right?

Genie:
Actually, you have two left. You used one to get out of the cave, remember?

Aladdin:
Did I? Or did you? I thought I had to be rubbing the lamp?

Genie:
Okay, little street boy. Let's rewind the tape. Okay, Genie. Oooh! The old monkey-with-the-lamp trick. Never seen that one before. Keep my eye on you.

Aladdin:
At least now I can use my third wish to set you free.

Genie:
Here's the thing about wishes. The more you have, the more you want.

Aladdin:
That's not me.

Genie:
Hmm. We'll see about that.

Aladdin:
But there is something.

Genie:
Uh-oh. Seen that face before. Who is she? Who's the girl?

Aladdin:
She's a princess.

Genie:
Aww, aren't they all? Treat your woman like a queen, I always say.

Aladdin:
No. No, she's an actual princess.

Genie:
Well, I already told you. I can't make anyone love anyone, so.

Aladdin:
No, no. We had a connection.

Genie:
Did they?

Aladdin:
She is smart and kind and so beautiful. But she has to marry a...Hey, can you make me a prince?

Genie:
There's a lot of gray area in "make me a prince". I could just... make you a prince.

Aladdin:
Oh, no.

Genie:
Right, you'd be snuggled up with that dude for the rest of your life.

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